I am so upset. My FSIL strikes again. A few weeks ago my FH and I went to my fsil's house for her son's birthday party my fh whole family was there. I was having a nice time and in a great mood until my fsil and her cousin cornered me and started asking questions about the wedding and who is in my bridal party. I have told them over and over again who is in my bridal party. I was so upset and all I wanted to do was leave cause they made me feel two feet tall about everything. Then I told my FH and he talk to his Mom about it nothing was done about her. Then this past week (Wednesday) my FH's Grandma past away. I have been helping out and trying my very best to make everything easier on my FH and my fmil. My fsil did nothing to help them out. She took her kids to the city the day there Grandma past away. I thought that was wrong but whatever. Then that night my fsil came over my fmil said I have been a big help to her and my fh and my fsil said wow what a shocker. The thing is she said it under her breath so my fmil didn't hear it. I ran out of there crying cause I did everything I could to help out. My fh called me and said what was wrong and I was to hurt and upset to talk to him I hung up. He called me back and I told him so he called his Mom and tried to stand up for me but the sister turned around and said she was talking to her son mean while he was upstairs with my fh. The only people that were in the room when she said that was me, my fmil, my fsil and her friend. So now she is trying to make me look bad by saying she never said that and she never heard her Mom say what a big help I was. So then why did she say right after her Mom told her what a big help I was to her did she say wow what a shocker? I am so upset about this and nothing is being done. I keep trying to be nice to her threw this ruff time but she is being very nasty to me and mean. I know she just lost her Grandma but she is being way out of line. Forcing my fh and I to do things for her and her kids mean while my fh hasn't had time to greave. She should take care of her kids threw this tuff time not pawn them off on us or other people. She is there mother. I am sick of this from her. If this keeps up I think I might have to walk away and not go threw with this wedding. I love my fh to death but this crap with his sister is so upsetting to me and hurting me a lot. What do I do? My fh started to finally stand up for me then for some reason he backed down as soon as he foud out from his mother everything is back to normal and everything is fine. It is not fine no one talked to her and told her to back off. I am very upset and I am not forgiving her yet again. I forgive her over and over again and she keeps doing things to hurt me or to make my life hell. She makes me feel like I am not part of there family nor will I ever be. I don't get why she can't be happy for her brother and I. I also feel like I come last to my fh cause he can not say no to her or stand up to her. I am sick of all this all I want is to come first to him and for him to love me enough and want to be with me enough to say something to his sister and actually put her in her place instead of letting her get away with everything and letting her get worse. I have done nothing to her. I was friends with her at one point until I found out all the lies she told me about her brother and her mother and then that is when we stopped being friends cause I loved the two of them enough to get away from her and put an end to her crap with them now I feel I am not important enought to them for them to stand up for me. If this were the other way around and it were my sister doing this to my fh I would go all lengths to stop it and put him first and make him see my love for him is more important to me then sittng there and doing nothing about it. I am so upset and hurt. What can I do? I don't want to leave my fh I love him so much but I can't take this anymore I am afraid if this keeps up I am going to have to leave him before this drives me crazy. It would kill me to walk away from my best friend and my soulmate. My fh means everything to me and I love him so much
bkposh
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Re: Needed to vent. I am so upset. Sorry it is long
aww i am so sorry to hear about your problem with your fsil. i really hope that everything works out for you.
2009wedding
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Re: Needed to vent. I am so upset. Sorry it is long
It's been going on for a while and it only gets worse not better. I don't even know what to do anymore this hurt me really bad and the things she says is just wrong and out of line.
MrsInglima
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Re: Needed to vent. I am so upset. Sorry it is long
i'm so sorry. that's really horrible. i would be really angry and hurt if it was me going through this.
i think what i would also do is talk to FH and try to understand why FSIL is like that. ie. does she have some kind of major emotional trauma that causes her to be a major b*tch. trying to understand her may help you figure out how to get on her good side to make her stop. as bad as she is, you are stuck with her and it's better to find a way to get a long than to fight for the next 50+ years.
granted, that's just the psychologist in me talking. on the flip side, if i had tried that and ran out of patience i would stop at nothing to expose the behavior so people can see what's really going on. when she is exposed she will stop because she knows she can't get away with it.
2009wedding
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Re: Needed to vent. I am so upset. Sorry it is long
No one will stand up to her she gets away with everything. She is spoiled and she gets her way with everyone. No one will say no to her. Mean while she is wrecking my life and my relationship with my fh.
MrsInglima
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Re: Needed to vent. I am so upset. Sorry it is long
Posted by 2009wedding
No one will stand up to her she gets away with everything. She is spoiled and she gets her way with everyone. No one will say no to her. Mean while she is wrecking my life and my relationship with my fh.
Well FH is at least trying to help you in the situation. And maybe that's what she can't stand? I say you be the one to stand up to her. Next time she does something and there are people in the room just say something. Like in this situation, 'I heard what you said, and I really don't appreciate that. I am only trying to help my family because I care about and love you all, I would like some acknowledgeable and respect instead of sarcasm and harsh words.' Then that makes her look like the @$$.
I know it seems hard, but you have to stand up for yourself now otherwise you will be stuck with this forever and it's not fair to let her ruin (potentially true) your life.
CMS
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Re: Needed to vent. I am so upset. Sorry it is long
Sorry you have to deal with this.
I also don't get along with my two FSILs. We simply stay out of each other's ways at gatherings.
Sometimes you just can't be one big happy family, no matter how badly you want to.
Jsquared279
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Re: Needed to vent. I am so upset. Sorry it is long
I am so sorry to hear about this situation but I truly do believe that whoever is causing you trouble is not worth calling off the wedding for. I truly believe that whatever obstacles are put in your way are put there for you to overcome together, not to give up on each other. Truly, try to get through it together. It will make you stronger! I hope it all works out for you!
2009wedding
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Re: Needed to vent. I am so upset. Sorry it is long
I am trying to work with him on getting threw this together but like I said no one will stand up to her and put her in her place. No one ever tells her no. I just feel I am at the end of the road with this and I do not know what to do anymore or how to handle this. Just when I think things are going great and she has stopped no she comes up with another way to hurt me or upset me and my fh and whoever else doesn't step up and back her off. I really am starting to feel like I am second and I am never going to be apart of there family. I love my fh so much but I can't take this drama anymore from her. unless someone gets her under control I am going to be upset every time she comes over and that is all the time. I can't live like that. I tried being nice to her I tried moving on and letting things go and starting over with her but she does something else and then I am upset all over again.
Soon2BMrsC09
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Re: Needed to vent. I am so upset. Sorry it is long
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: Needed to vent. I am so upset. Sorry it is long
I'm really sorry to hear that you are still having problems with her
My only advice would be to just take the high road and not let her bother you. She must get some sense of satisfaction by seeing that what she does upsets you. She gets to you and she knows it and you let her. If you show her that what she does doesn't bother you, she'll stop.
You meet an @sshole every day, unfortunately, this @sshole will be your SIL, but you can't let it affect you so much because obviously nothing's been done. And maybe never will be done. So all you have to concern yourself with is that you're a good person, you're marrying the love of your life, and scrEw the naysayers. Eventually she will move on because it's obvious she needs to be mean to people as a source of entertainment or to allay her own insecurities.
