Newly Engaged and Overwhelmed/Marathon Training

Hey ladies,

This is my very first post on this forum, but I am LOVING this website. I have gotten so much great information already that's been invaluable.

So, here is my story. I got engaged Labor Day week. My fiance wanted to go into immediate planning mode. But, we don't yet have a budget, we have an outrageous invite list, we don't have a particular day, season, or year in mind, AND we are trying to decide if we should have our wedding on LI (where I grew up and my LARGE family lives), in NJ (where we currently live and his SMALL family lives), or somewhere neutral like Westchester County.

On top of all that, I am training for the NYC Marathon on November 6th. I am not a good runner - I've run several 5 and 10k races, but I am slow and I walk. I am also fundraising as part of my marathon participation, raising money for the Arthritis Foundation. (I picked AF because i have rheumatoid arthritis, so it directly effects me!).

Now, wedding planning is intersecting with my time I need to train and fundraise and I need help! Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated.

Also, if anyone is interested, here is a link to my donation page: http://bit.ly/qMcu9H

Every little bit counts and I could really use it!

Hi! Welcome and congrats on your engagement! Sounds like you have a lot going on right now but dont let yourself feel too overwhelmed.

I would 1st get your glist figured out and once you have your # then I would look in RHs. Since you are not particular on a date keep in mind that usually winter months are the cheapest.. even late fall. Also having your wedding on a Fri/Sun can save u $ as well. Since your not sure whr you want to have ur wedding I would suggest looking at venues in all 3 areas (LI, NJ, and Westchester) and seeing what you like best or where you get the best deal.

When I was looking for a RH I made lots of phone calls and sent out lots of emails to request pricing info as well as availability. After gathering the info I then decided to make appts to the places I was interested in.

Hope some of this helps. Just take everything 1 step at a time and u will be fine.

I'd say first get your guest list together and that's a huge start. You can knock a lot of places out if you have a very large party. You could probably figure out a rough estimate of how much you want to spend too just with the guest list.

I don't know what prices in NJ or Westchester are but I think LI is ridiculously expensive for what you get.

It's really good you have options on locale and time!

Places I can think of off hand that can hold big parties on Long Island are Flowerfield, Milleridge cottage. Two totally different locations but it's a start.

Also find out when the next bridal expo is on Long Island. Check those things out. I mean, they're probably more useful once you find a place but you get free mags with advertisements from different venues and pricelist. You can also get some info from different vendors, ie flowers, transport, etc. I havent looked at all my stuff yet but its nice to have something tangible to look through if you want to.

Thanks so much!! We have a rough estimate of our guest list and just need to talk to all of our parents to make sure we've covered who they want to invite.

I've started doing exactly what you recommended - calling RH to get pricing info - so I am glad I am on the right track.

I will keep you posted once I figure more out!

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Posted by kitt6katt

Oh, and NJ and Westchester and just ask expensive as Long Island - if not worse! We actually visited a few RH in Westchester last weekend and fell absolutely in love with one that is over 200 a head when all is said and done, and requires a 200 minimum!! I understand there are places that are worse than that, but it just blew my mind.

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Oh no no no....
You can find places on Long Island as low as $60-$80pp with great food!

With tax and tip it can bring it up to about $90-$110pp

Outside of LI...
Did you try the Surf Club in New Rochelle or Fountainhead?

I'm sure if you grew up on LI you are familiar with the Reception Halls here, so I won't bother to list those. However, Douglaston Manor is a nice compromise being that it is in Queens and is reasonably priced.

Keep us updated!!

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Posted by kitt6katt

Oh, and NJ and Westchester and just ask expensive as Long Island - if not worse! We actually visited a few RH in Westchester last weekend and fell absolutely in love with one that is over 200 a head when all is said and done, and requires a 200 minimum!! I understand there are places that are worse than that, but it just blew my mind.

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I looked into many places in Westchester (only for Oct though which is a peak month) and they were just as expensive if not more than LI.

Think about what you want to spend per person and look for places in your range. FH and I wanted places less than $100pp. You also have to factor in about 20% service fees plus tax.

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Posted by Royalgem21

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Posted by kitt6katt

Oh, and NJ and Westchester and just ask expensive as Long Island - if not worse! We actually visited a few RH in Westchester last weekend and fell absolutely in love with one that is over 200 a head when all is said and done, and requires a 200 minimum!! I understand there are places that are worse than that, but it just blew my mind.

---

Oh no no no....
You can find places on Long Island as low as $60-$80pp with great food!

With tax and tip it can bring it up to about $90-$110pp

Outside of LI...
Did you try the Surf Club in New Rochelle or Fountainhead?

I'm sure if you grew up on LI you are familiar with the Reception Halls here, so I won't bother to list those. However, Douglaston Manor is a nice compromise being that it is in Queens and is reasonably priced.

Keep us updated!!

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ITA! I checked out those 2 places u mentioned for Oct and they were both over 100+ for a Sat, I think about 90ish for a Sun.

First and foremost, Congratulations on your engagement, and welcome to your newest addiction!

I agree that guest list should be one of the first steps to planning your wedding, guest count can help narrow down options!

Congrats !!!!!! I think your first step is figuring out a guest list. Talk it over with both sets of parents and then figure out how much you want to spend for the RH. The RH is pretty much going to take up half of your budget. Here's a link that helped me
http://www.liweddings.com/planning/location-guide.aspx

You can enter how many guests you will have and it gives you locations that can accomodate you. (They have prices on this site but it doesn't tell you for what season)

Nov- March are the off season but my uncle is a chef at Fox Hollow and he's seen people come in a few months before and get a great deal on a price.

Also another site I use is the Knot. I put my guest list in there (which will also help later for the seating chart) and it has helped me with my budget.

Good luck on the race and remember to take some time to relax and breathe or you will start to feel stressed out. Have fun with the planning process.