No best man - have to ask my brother but not sure how...

SO our best man as you may know is no longer participating in our wedding. He has training for the army (this is FH's sisters husband, there are allegations of him cheating so they may be on their way to divorce - we think he did this on purpose so he wouldn't have to come)

Anyway - FH and I thought we'd ask my oldest brother to stand by his side on our wedding. Basically be the best man so to speak but I have no idea how to ask him. We aren't super super close. I don't really know what to say or how to approach this. Any ideas? TIA

I would just say that on the most important day of your life, it's most important that it be your family who is up there with you, and that you know you haven't always been close, but that it would be an honor for him to be up there as family.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

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Posted by Lsorrent

Wouldn't it be FH's job to ask him to be HIS best man???

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yeah but they really arent close. He doesn't have anyone else

ETA: he has girls he is close with (sister and cousin) who HE asked to be bridesmaid. I never even met his sister and felt weird asking his cousin. So this does not seem weird to me even though other might think it to be a bit odd...

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Posted by cavvento

I would just say that on the most important day of your life, it's most important that it be your family who is up there with you, and that you know you haven't always been close, but that it would be an honor for him to be up there as family.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

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i agree with this and have FH present of course but obviously you do the speaking since in the first you are not that close and it would be weird for your fh to ask.

Is FH's father close to him? If he is, then he can definitely hold the rings or give a toast. If not, I would explain the situation to your brother and ask if he would mind holding the rings at the ceremony and making a short toast at the reception.. I personally think the word 'speech' can be intimidating b/c it sounds like you have to talk for 5 minutes where as 'toast' sounds like you're only expected to say 'congrats to the couple.. health happiness blah blah.'

HTH

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Posted by Marianne13

Is FH's father close to him? If he is, then he can definitely hold the rings or give a toast. If not, I would explain the situation to your brother and ask if he would mind holding the rings at the ceremony and making a short toast at the reception.. I personally think the word 'speech' can be intimidating b/c it sounds like you have to talk for 5 minutes where as 'toast' sounds like you're only expected to say 'congrats to the couple.. health happiness blah blah.'

HTH

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thank you. Yeah FH has a bad situation with all the males in his family. He doen't even know if he's inviting dad or brothers. let alone having them be the best man. Its an awful situation I just feel terrible for him. Good advice. Thank you