Okay so im thinking really only to have 10 years and older at my wedding ...but here is the problem my cousin's kids ( the older one is my jr ) and she has a young kid he will be 5 ....he is crazy and out of control ...but last night my mom was talking to my aunt and told her about having no kids there..and she told me thats not a good idea and if she does that no to have him not to invite them at all...now i have no idea what to do...i really really want brynn ( jr) to be there and i love her ...but its her brother that is trouble..and now i have no idea what to do...why does everything have to be so stressful..... HELP!
meghan13
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
Its your wedding. You make a decision for whats best for you and stick to it. What other people decide to do with it is theres.
I made me wedding 18 and over. This split up families but I had to do it because from ages 10-17 there are about 20 more people and I couldn't afford it. One of FH's uncles won't come because they 'dont believe in babysitters.' Sorry, we will miss you but it is what it is.
It bothers me yes, but I don't have any other choice. IF someone chooses to not come because of it, it's their choice.
dmbfan36
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
I see what you're saying about not having kids..however, I think it's hard to have one sibling there and not another. I could see how they might be annoyed.
FutureMrsCat050412
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
we cut the kid line to...
only kids in the bridal party (which are our neices & the only ones we have between our siblings)
and 1st cousins kids only!
b2b2013
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
That's tough! I think that families should be understanding when it comes to children being at a wedding. IMO, some parents don't realize (or don't want to realize) how out of control their kids can be! I think that you should do what you feel is right, and if you really feel that you only want your jr. to be there than it should be respected! In the end your family who loves you and wants to be there for you will be, whether they like your 'rules' or not!
linda_art
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
Ha, I read this and immediately thought BOUNDARIES! It kills me that people think they can tell anyone what to do. I'd say thanks for sharing your SUGGESTION, and then make it incredibly known that it's nothing more than that to you... I don't think drama needs to come of it. It honestly sounds simple. Not everyone can have their say or get what they want, you on the other hand are the bride and you can request whatever you like from whomever you like. Cross the bridge when you come to it. You really want her to be your Jr BM, is there really nobody that can babysit? Be proactive and maybe even find a babysitter that you know or a friend uses. Sorry to be putting things in caps but stuff like this gets under my skin, life is too short for all the wanna be drama!
snowflakes11
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
Ok im in a similar situation but bottom line, its OUR choice and too bad! We are giving people plenty of time to get a babysitter!
Im doing 10 & over also and mainly because my cousin has 3 little girls under 7 that are all nightmares LOL So basically everyone is invited with kids in my fam except her, and she hasnt made any comments yet - so it is what it is.
its your day, you make the decision and I dont blame you one bit for not wanting young ones there!!
Edited - one more thing - My one cousins daughter is my flower girl, shes 7 - they also have a baby, 2 years old which is NOT invited - and they havent said anything rude to me about it - they are understanding so far LOL
Bride2011
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
All of this is easier said than done. We wanted an adult only reception with the exception of kids in the bp. We spread the word, our rsvp cards outwardly stated '# of adults attending' and we still received a couple of phone calls asking us if they can bring their kids and even one rsvp which wrote '+1 child'. It does become frustrating and a lot more stressful than it should be. Really at the end pick your battles because throughout the process there will be a lot of them!
Irishbride16
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
Posted by linda_art
Ha, I read this and immediately thought BOUNDARIES! It kills me that people think they can tell anyone what to do. I'd say thanks for sharing your SUGGESTION, and then make it incredibly known that it's nothing more than that to you... I don't think drama needs to come of it. It honestly sounds simple. Not everyone can have their say or get what they want, you on the other hand are the bride and you can request whatever you like from whomever you like. Cross the bridge when you come to it. You really want her to be your Jr BM, is there really nobody that can babysit? Be proactive and maybe even find a babysitter that you know or a friend uses. Sorry to be putting things in caps but stuff like this gets under my skin, life is too short for all the wanna be drama!
It's okay...yea i just dont understand why you have to get mad if i dont invite your kid/ kids ..you know..its my wedding and im paying for it and alot of people just dont understand at all...i know they are half price BUT its too much...and my cousion of all people should understand BUT she does not and will give me crap....but she does not even see that her little boy is a NIGHTMARE!!! she thinks he an angel....arrrrrrr
Watermelon5
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
IMO you cant invite 1 child and not the other if they are a part of the same family. You can def do no children under X age and make an exception for a particular family though.
I personally dont mind children attending our wedding and actually look forward to them being there and celebrating. W/ that being said, it is YOUR day and if you dont want children, they have AMPLE time to find a babysitter!!!
gf1025
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
I'm sorry you're going thru this. No kids allowed is always tricky. We have the same rule and so far no drama but do feel bad for one of my best friends. He's coming from Tennessee and I assumed his fiancee's son would stay behind with his dad. He isn't! Coming to NYC is his dream so now we have to find a way to accommodate but she's being a doll about it and we have time. The rest of my family who knows about the rule is OK with it. I do expect to get some push back and I also have the same dilemma with our potential ring bearer. He has a younger brother who is adorable but is also a handful! I'm even thinking twice whether or not to ask his parents to let their older son be the ring bearer because we really would prefer if the younger son isn't invited! GR!!!!
Irishbride16
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
Yea ...i just have to figure out what i really want to do at this point ...i know its wrong for not having a brother there and the sister there...but nobody else is going to give me a problem ( I hope) but if he was under control it would be a different story ...but he is not ...so now i just dont know
JLWSJC
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
Posted by meghan13
'dont believe in babysitters.' Sorry, we will miss you but it is what it is.
.
I DONT UNDERSTAND PEOPLE WHO NEVER LEAVE THEIR KIDS!!! IT IS HEALTHY TO LEAVE YOUR KIDS FOR A NIGHT... FOR BOTH OF YOU!! GOD!!
My mom left us with a babysitter AT LEAST once a week so she could go out ... we were all saner for it.
Irishbride16
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
LMAO>>> tell me about it and the funny part my aunt and uncle always babysits them...thats the funny part
Skinewyork
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
We decided no kids at the reception. Which then required further clarification, since my first cousins are teenagers (the youngest will be 13 at the time) and are invited. But other than them, all other children are invited to the ceremony, but not the reception. That includes our 5 nephews and niece who are all under the age of 7, my first cousin's kids (who are coming from out of town), and my bridesmaid's daughter and step-son. So far, everyone has understood. But if they don't, the only thing they can do is choose not to come. I think you should invite whomever you want to invite, and if they choose to be insulted then that's their problem....definitely not yours.
jovigirl414
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
No kids under 18 for us! We also set up timing so people get ready for work and dont even have the time to get their kids all dressed up!
I don't mean to be a bytch, but I really don't want running around, possibly knocking things over, fingers in cakes, tiny footsteps on my dress, crying because they couldn't put fingers in cakes, or anything of this matter at my wedding! Am I a horrible person for it?
gf1025
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
In the end it's your wedding and you invite whoever you like. Don't stress over it now, you have a while to smooth things out and people tend to calm down!
CaughtMyFish
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
Posted by FutureMrsCat050412
we cut the kid line to...
only kids in the bridal party (which are our neices & the only ones we have between our siblings)
and 1st cousins kids only!
This exactly!
FutureMrsJC
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
Ugh, we just went through a similar issue in my family. In the end, I had to just say no kids means no kids. We can't start making exceptions for some and not others, so we are not having any of them at the RH (no one under 21 is invited).
VeePro
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Re: No kids allowed ...( need help)
Have the same dilemma, I posted about it as well. Bottom line its your wedding stick to your guns, your paying a lot of money for this wedding the last thing you want is a 5 year old running out on the dance floor while you guys are having your first dance...( ive seen this happen).
