I'm not exactly sure how to tell my friends this but we'd really like no children under the age of 12 at our wedding. Including our own daughter, who will be three at the time. She's going to be the flower girl but after the ceremony and cocktail hour, she'll be going with our babysitter and then with my parents for the night. I have out of town guest coming in with young children, ranging from 1-5yrs old and I don't know if they'll all be able to leave their little ones back at home. How do I say this nicely without sounding rude, that I don't want any kids at the wedding?. If they can't leave their kids at home, should I try and help them find a babysitter up here or have them stay with my daughter and my babysitter? I don't know what to do!
bowlergyal
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
I would let them know it is an adult only reception from ages 12 and up. I would also set up a babysitter, maybe at the room you are doing a hotel block for, leave money for pizza and juice and a few DVD's/Games. OR let them know and let them find a babysitter, I mean really people can find one when they really need one!I am not having anyone under the age of 15 at mine. If they can not find a babysitter then I will understand that they just can not make it.
If they ask, just mention to them that it's an only reception and that you'll also be having your daughter stay with a babysitter. They shouldn't have anything to say after that, because why should their kid be allowed to come if yours isn't going to be there.
It would be nice if you arranged for a babysitter, but I don't think you should have to pay for it. You can just mention to a few of your guests the option of having one, and depending on the response you could make arrangements for one or more babysitter(s) depending on the number of the kids. I personally wouldn't offer for them to use my babysitter if I had a kid because I would want my kid to have the babysitter's complete attention, especially on such an important day.
Jill52787
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
You don't need to pay for a babysitter!
I would say something like 'I just wanted to let you know in advance that we aren't having children at our reception, so you could plan ahead. Let me know if you need help finding someone or would like me to ask around since you are not from around here'
bowlergyal
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
As a parent coming from out of town (well really I would not be bringing my kid, can we say VA-CAY ) but if for some reason I had to bring my kid I would pefer you set up someone, I would pay though. Because leaving your kids with a stranger in a town you do not live in is not easy to do. So if there is enough parents that insist, I would set up a sitter and tell them the rates/info...they can work it out from there.
Jdegeronimo22
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
Thanks guys! So far I have one friend that probably can't swing it. Where she's living she has no relatives and no SO to help out so she will most likely have to bring her 5yo. I'm going to do my best to help her find a babysitter, right now we don't even really have a babysitter set in stone for my daughter or a plan for who's going to be watching her that night ect..it's on our back burner atm so I'll have to figure something out. I will definitely not be paying though that's for sure!. She is staying in one of the rooms that we are blocking though, so hopefully it won't be too big of an issue.
MrsCtoBe5512
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
There are some new (maybe just newly advertised) websites to help find sitters - sittercity.com, care.com. I don't know how the websites work but maybe there's a section for babysitters willing to look after multiple children (for weddings and other events). Definitely think you could help find the sitter(s) given your guests are OOT, but you definitely don't have to pay for it. you have plenty of time to find a sitter, too
good luck!
irisheyezrsmilen
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
let your friends and family know now that its an adult wedding only. for the OOT guest i would look into a few babysitters that you could tell them about, but you dont have to pay for it. see if they would feel comfortable leaving their children with your daughters sitters also.
chliekm
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
I wouldn't worry about this -- expecially since your daughter won't be there, but even if she was it is YOUR party!!
and explaining that there are no kids allowed and your daughter is going to a sitter is a easy way to tell them.. plus this invitations will say Mr&Mrs.... not the family..
People should never assume children are invited to weddings!!
SuzyQNYC79
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
We are not having children at all. Noone under like 20 actually. To be honest, our friends and family are excited to have a weekend away. If you are giving everyone enough notice for them to find childcare, you are fine.
AlexandMike2012
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
Posted by Jill52787
You don't need to pay for a babysitter!
I would say something like 'I just wanted to let you know in advance that we aren't having children at our reception, so you could plan ahead. Let me know if you need help finding someone or would like me to ask around since you are not from around here'
THIS! I also called my cousin and told her the deal so she can pass it around to the other cousins so they know ahead of time
leidyk
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
ooooh this subject! I'm not having kids any age period...except for my 12 yr old cousin who will be a jr bridesmaid... It may sound a little mean, but from the beginning i put it clearly that the invite will state 'adult affair only' In your case, I think i'd also say if they can't arrange a babysitter, you could suggest someone...But all honesty, they are the ones who need to arrange if they want to attend. same thing goes for the day you pick for a wedding, it's your day, you worry about you and your husband..the rest is up to the guests to accomodate... :)
chris1082
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
Crashing!
I would have put 'adults only' reception on my invites, but no one really has little kids in my family. But if that was the case, I would have written that on my invite.
HTH
eck739
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
we arent having children at our wedding either. I feel like it should be apparent in the way that you address the invitation.
pixietina
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
You could put adult only reception or say how many seats are reserved in their honor. No matter what you will probably still need to verbally explain this to people. It's nice of you to find a babysitter for them.
jassy119
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
FH and I arent having kids at our wedding either. I dont want a bunch of kids running around going nuts and I dont want to pay 1/2 price for their plates either when they would probably barely eat anyways. Some ppl we've already told this 2 in person but we plan to send a note with our STD's so ppl will know well in advance and know to make arrangements.
FutureMrsGTL
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
I think the easiest way is to put 'Adult Reception' on the invites.
You certainly don't have to pay for a babysitter for them, if they are OOT then maybe provide a recommendation to be helpful.
Jdegeronimo22
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
Thanks everyone! I'll definitely be putting 'adult reception' on the invites! that's a great idea. I know I'm still going to have to verbally tell them too though. Luckily my NY friends get the whole no kids at the wedding thing, but all of my OOT guest from FL think it's totally normal to have little ones there. IMO, I'd sooo much rather leave them at home and have a good time. I'm going to help my friend find a babysitter though if it comes down to that. I'm 21 myself and the oldest of my siblings and cousins, so a big group of the people there will be from 12-21..I definitely don't want anyone younger than that!.
LBUDA
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
I would just address the invitation to the parents and omit 'and family'. If they have a child who would be invited, simply write:
Mr. & Mrs. Jones Miss Mary Jones address
Then of they ask you, you can just say that its people over whatever age....hopefully get the the picture when they see how the invitation is addressed.
TeemHenn
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Re: No kids at the wedding?
We are not having kids at our wedding and we are not putting anything on the invite or response cards. Those that have children, I made sure to have a conversation with. Those coming from OOT have also been told but I am helping them find a babysitter or 2. But, I am not paying for this.
