I posted a couple of weeks back about how FH's mom wants his nieces at the wedding, plus his second cousin, all under the age of 10. I was so upset because I do not want kids there. He was on my side & said he'd speak to her....she basically told him that they need to be there. Now he doesn't want to keep pushing the issue because he said he 'wil never hear the end of it' from his family. I just find it rude that they are not respecting my wishes - I am not having any kids from my side & my nieces/nephew, who are in the bridal party, are leaving after the cocktail hour. I just have nightmares of the four girls running all over the place. They are so hyper when they are together. Feel lost about this....FH does not want to stir up trouble, yet I feel it's our wedding, his parents are not paying for it, why do they feel it's right to say the girls need to be there?? Especially at a night wedding where NONE of my nieces, nephews or second cousins under age 15 will be there. Sorry, needed to vent again.
brooklynbridezilla
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
Are your parents contibuting to the wedding? If they are, I'd tell FH that he really has to put down his foot with his mom. It would be so unfair to your parents that they didn't invite the kids on their side, if they are helping to pay.
micmar
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
Posted by brooklynbridezilla
Are your parents contibuting to the wedding? If they are, I'd tell FH that he really has to put down his foot with his mom. It would be so unfair to your parents that they didn't invite the kids on their side, if they are helping to pay.
Thanks - yes my parents are paying for the reception. The thing is, they are not the type to tell anyone 'they are on a budget, limit the people' so I can't really throw that in their face. I did drop that comment one day when I was upset with FH one day about it. I just don't get it. The other battle is that he says if I don't invite the kids, his brother & sister (the girls parents) won't go. I think that is just plain immature & rude.
Mrs_B
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
I went through the same thing with FH's cousins but in my case FH didnt want the kids there. He basically called the parents and told them straight out that we are not having kids. Good luck with this
DebsNY
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
I don't understand why everyone is so set on having to bring kids to the wedding. I went to 4 weddings prior to the age of 18. One was my mothers 2nd marriage when I was 6, One was my cousins wedding (I was a 11 and Jr. BM), the other was when I was maybe 12 or so, but this was my siblings babysitter, and she invited the whole family, and then I was invited to another cousins wedding when I was 14.
Now, I know my mother was invited to countless other family and friends weddings while I was growing up, and ya know what? They hired a babysitter! I would always ask, 'Why aren't I invited to so and so's wedding?'
Her answer was 'Because normally children don't go to weddings. Don't worry, you'll go to plenty when you're older'
No fight, no big stink. That was that.
starbright_33313
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micmar
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
thanks ladies, wish me luck
o17range
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
I know it might be uncomfortable for you to do so, but I'd talk to your future mother in law directly. Let her know YOUR side will not have any children and that it will be quite awkward if one family is allowed to bring kids and the other is not. You are right--some of his family may not show up if they aren't able to bring their kids. That's why 9 of my FHs first cousins are not coming....but then again, we told one of my cousins no kids and they are still coming! So, it's a crapshoot. Good luck!
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
UGH! again with the kids?? what is the deal with some people???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's infuriating!
IMO, you should put your foot down to your FMIL directly. From what I have seen on here, FH's tend to cave in where this issue is concenrned. I would tell my FMIL that on NO CERTAIN TERMS are ANY kids allowed at the reception.
If they “win” this battle, they might think of you as a push over and in the future it could end up costing you. You have to stand up for yourself!
YOUR DAY YOUR WAY!!!!!!!!!!!
ETA: The very first wedding I ever attended was when I was 14!
micmar
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
Posted by dleeny
are ANY kids allowed at the reception.
If they “win” this battle, they might think of you as a push over and in the future it could end up costing you. You have to stand up for yourself!
YOUR DAY YOUR WAY!!!!!!!!!!!
You are so right!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
italia6973
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
I can't believe people. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I know it's going to come up for me too. I am sure the same people that gave my sister a hard time about not bringing their kids are going to try to bring them to mine!
jersee3380
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
i absolutely agree and understand. we did the same thing, NO KIDS. well, fh's side said if the one 5 yr old can't come, none of them will. so FH stood up and said 'well, then i'm sorry youre going to miss a great day'. i was soo happy he stood up for what we want! we are paying the entire thing, not them. it has caused a LOT of tension in the family but honetly, if they won't be there for you b/c of that then the prob wont be there for you in the future.
VS11
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
I am probably going to get slammed for this...
I do agree that kids under a certain age should not be invited to weddings...BUT I feel nieces and nephews are the acception...
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
Posted by rosaria
I am probably going to get slammed for this...
I do agree that kids under a certain age should not be invited to weddings...BUT I feel nieces and nephews are the acception...
While I don't entirely disagree with you, it is up to each person to determine who goes to their wedding.
for example, we're not having kids at ours either (FH has 2 million little cousins), but... his 11 yr old niece will be there and my 13 yr old cousin will be there.
As far as I know, all our guests who have kids are SO psyched they don't have to drag their kids to the wedding. they keep saying how they cannot wait to drink, dance and party!
jersee3380
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
Posted by dleeny
UGH! again with the kids?? what is the deal with some people???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's infuriating!
IMO, you should put your foot down to your FMIL directly. From what I have seen on here, FH's tend to cave in where this issue is concenrned. I would tell my FMIL that on NO CERTAIN TERMS are ANY kids allowed at the reception.
If they “win” this battle, they might think of you as a push over and in the future it could end up costing you. You have to stand up for yourself!
YOUR DAY YOUR WAY!!!!!!!!!!!
ETA: The very first wedding I ever attended was when I was 14!
youre exactly right! that is what my IL's are doing ... sitting back waiting for me and fh to say 'oh, ok ... she can come' and we are ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NOT GONNA DO IT!!! It is YOUR DAY, do what u want!!!
VS11
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
Posted by dleeny
Posted by rosaria
I am probably going to get slammed for this...
I do agree that kids under a certain age should not be invited to weddings...BUT I feel nieces and nephews are the acception...
While I don't entirely disagree with you, it is up to each person to determine who goes to their wedding.
for example, we're not having kids at ours either (FH has 2 million little cousins), but... his 11 yr old niece will be there and my 13 yr old cousin will be there.
As far as I know, all our guests who have kids are SO psyched they don't have to drag their kids to the wedding. they keep saying how they cannot wait to drink, dance and party!
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
Posted by rosaria
Posted by dleeny
Posted by rosaria
I am probably going to get slammed for this...
I do agree that kids under a certain age should not be invited to weddings...BUT I feel nieces and nephews are the acception...
While I don't entirely disagree with you, it is up to each person to determine who goes to their wedding.
for example, we're not having kids at ours either (FH has 2 million little cousins), but... his 11 yr old niece will be there and my 13 yr old cousin will be there.
As far as I know, all our guests who have kids are SO psyched they don't have to drag their kids to the wedding. they keep saying how they cannot wait to drink, dance and party!
isuser
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
while i am inviting kids to my wedding (i personally don't care), i'm soo surprised to see so many posts on how people can be soo rude and completely ignore the couple's wishes when it comes to not inviting kids!!!!
which part of 'no kids' don't those people understand!!!!
sorry i don't have any good advice for you.... but good luck!! i hope everything will work out!!
micmar
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
Posted by isuser
which part of 'no kids' don't those people understand!!!!
I will never understand that myself.
GsCM4EVA
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Re: No kids at wedding - issues again
i agree w/u rosaria..i think nieces/nephews SHOULD be allowed at the wedding... at my wedding, only gae's 2 nieces will be there...n they are both in the wedding party. his mother wants to invite his first cousins babies. absolutely nO WAY...sorry. they arent invited to the engagement party, no wedding either.
