No matter what I do....

R&J0806 Posted: May 19, 2006 12:45 AM

No matter what I do....

....FMIL b_tches about it! I don't trust FMIL to stuff invites on her own (though I'd never say that to her.) Shes unorganized and she'll ruin everything, not mail stuff out on time, who knows. So...I offered to handle ALL of the stuffing myself. Tell me, who wouldn't love for that burden to be lifted??? Especially since she's dealing with several other highly-stressful things right now.

But no...she couldn't be satisfied with me making this easy for her. Instead, she had to cause a fuss about stuffing invites. I invited her to help me, told her where I'd be and what time but she didn't like that. I offered to work with her on another day (I don't want to leave her alone with those invites!) but she didn't like that either. SHE IS IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE!!!!!

So now, she's going to stuff her own without me. That's what SHE wants. She's going to ruin everything! And I was trying so hard to make this easy!!! Not one thing has gone smoothly in the last nine months. NOT ONE. (But FH stood up for me and told his mother she's being ridiculous so I guess that counts for something. She didn't listen though.)

klslk Posted: May 19, 2006 06:21 AM

Re: No matter what I do....

We all realize this can be stressful, and with all due respect... Shame on you. This is not about what she wants. You shouldn't be beating around the bush here - you only have one shot at this, and if you want to do this, you should tell her flat out, I appreciate the help but I WANT TO DO THIS.

It's YOUR wedding. YOU have to set the standard.

Good luck!

Brassgirl9 Posted: May 19, 2006 06:24 AM

Re: No matter what I do....

I would make up an excuse like my bridesmaids or my own mother really had their heart set on doing this with me or together as a group. Then just do it and don't take no for an answer. Personally I think it should be up to you and your mom to do it anyway. Hang in there and stay strong!

angnick Posted: May 19, 2006 08:34 AM

Re: No matter what I do....

Posted by Brassgirl9

I would make up an excuse like my bridesmaids or my own mother really had their heart set on doing this with me or together as a group. Then just do it and don't take no for an answer. Personally I think it should be up to you and your mom to do it anyway. Hang in there and stay strong!

That is what i do.. I always tell fmil that oh thank you but my mom and sisters and i are handling it.. It is my wedding.. lol

reenielady Posted: May 19, 2006 09:04 AM

Re: No matter what I do....

I agree with the other ladies. Tell her you want to do them all together to keep things organized and that you are all doing them at a date and time. if she can make it great if not she will see them in the mail

N.Y.bride Posted: May 19, 2006 09:14 AM

Re: No matter what I do....

WOW Thats strange to me that she so upset about stuffing envelopes. Maybe she feels like she hasnt been included in the wedding planning? I cant understand why she wouldnt want to stuff them with you.

R&J0806 Posted: May 19, 2006 09:20 AM

Re: No matter what I do....

thanks for your suggestions, ladies. I tried every single one of them. First she said she wouldn't come to the wedding if I stuffed her invites (FH told her 'good, don't come.') Then she said that she's 'sick of all this sh_t and if I stuff for her, then she's not paying her half of the wedding, as initially planned.

She doesn't care what I want, actually she's sick of 'robyn getting what she wants'and said that to my dad's girlfriend who planned my shower (mom passed away and FMIL is taking advantage of the situation.)

This woman is going to kill me. I really don't know what to do anymore.

ChrissynRicky Posted: May 19, 2006 09:23 AM

Re: No matter what I do....

Since she's using the fact that she's paying as a tool, why don't you and FI pay yourselves, and that way she can't have a say in anything.

R&J0806 Posted: May 19, 2006 09:31 AM

Re: No matter what I do....

Thanks for the suggestion, but its too late for us to pay (not to mention we can't afford the wedding our families are throwing.) And even if I paid for the invites, she'd still say the same thing because she's paying for half of everything else.

Me & FH contemplated calling our big wedding off and going to where we first met and getting married there and pay for it ourselves but never did it. Isn't it sad that I was willing to give up my dream wedding just to get her off my back? Even yesterday though, FH told his mom that if he had it his way, we wouldn't have done this and would already be married.

She's a monster-in-law. Really.

N.Y.bride Posted: May 19, 2006 09:34 AM

Re: No matter what I do....

Oh Im so sorry

Well maybe you should just let her stuff them ALL. Im sure after invite #100 shell regret wanting to do it by herself.

Id give a timeline and make sure theyre out.

ChrissynRicky Posted: May 19, 2006 09:34 AM

Re: No matter what I do....

Posted by robynlevy

Thanks for the suggestion, but its too late for us to pay (not to mention we can't afford the wedding our families are throwing.) And even if I paid for the invites, she'd still say the same thing because she's paying for half of everything else.

Me & FH contemplated calling our big wedding off and going to where we first met and getting married there and pay for it ourselves but never did it. Isn't it sad that I was willing to give up my dream wedding just to get her off my back? Even yesterday though, FH told his mom that if he had it his way, we wouldn't have done this and would already be married.

She's a monster-in-law. Really.

Sorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately, I have no other advice, than to pick and choose the battles - she wants to stuff the invites - let her do it.

There are a lot more important decisions that you and FI will have to make, and battling back and forth with her, is only going to continue the resentment and harassment.

Also, don't call of your wedding and give up your dreams b/c of others - it's between you and FI, and there will be bumps along the planning process, especially when you're not paying for your own wedding. It's a common saying here 'I pay - it's my way' - and that goes for everyone.

ali120206 Posted: May 19, 2006 09:38 AM

Re: No matter what I do....

Your FMIL seems to be causing you a ton of grief and aggrivation in the invitations department.

I know it's easier said and done, but, I think you should just let go, there have been a lot of issues between you and her and the invitations.

If she doesn't get them out on time and correctly, it will be her guests that are effected. Based on your previous posts, this leads me to believe that she will get them done in reasonable time and correctly (since your FILs seem to want to impress their friends).

Hang in there!