Wondering if it is considered rude NOT to send out Save the Dates or make arrangements (hotel block) for out of town guests? We have only a handful of people coming from out of town and most are distant cousins or people we’re not very familiar with. We’re trying to keep our head count DOWN (inviting about 130, hoping for around 100), and I was planning on only sending out Save the Dates to A-listers (bridal party, nuclear families, etc).
For background, bride and groom are paying for the entire wedding alone and Groom’s mother’s side has some estranged relatives who are being invited, anyway.
What is proper etiquette here?
PSP
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Re: No Save the Dates or Out-of-Town Arrangements?
I think you don't have to send out save the dates to people you don't really want to come, but blocking a set of rooms (as long as you don't have to pay a deposit) would be a nice thing to do and less of a headache for YOU down the line if people start calling about places to stay. Depending on time of year and location, hotels book up quickly!
2013Bride
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Re: No Save the Dates or Out-of-Town Arrangements?
Most of our guests are from the NY area and if they aren't they are able to stay with relatives if they come to the wedding, we figure. So I'm not even bothering with hotel blocks & save the dates.
jojo07135
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Re: No Save the Dates or Out-of-Town Arrangements?
Posted by 2013Bride
Most of our guests are from the NY area and if they aren't they are able to stay with relatives if they come to the wedding, we figure. So I'm not even bothering with hotel blocks & save the dates.
This exactly! I am doing the same! But I am sending out save the dates
chilly313
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Re: No Save the Dates or Out-of-Town Arrangements?
We didn't do STDs or hotel block. We had a handful of OOT guests and they made arrangements themselves, with no problems. I wouldn't worry about these things if you don't want to do them.
FutureMrsSweeney
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Re: No Save the Dates or Out-of-Town Arrangements?
A block of room is normally 10. Do you have that many OOT guests?
If not, you can always include a list of local hotels in the invite or on your wedding website (if you are having one).
Don't worry about doing STDs. I am only doing them for people that are coming in from OOT. My entire family will be flying in.
katnwill
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Re: No Save the Dates or Out-of-Town Arrangements?
Posted by jojo07135
Posted by 2013Bride
Most of our guests are from the NY area and if they aren't they are able to stay with relatives if they come to the wedding, we figure. So I'm not even bothering with hotel blocks & save the dates.
This exactly! I am doing the same! But I am sending out save the dates
Same thing... My family is pretty close so we always stay at each others houses when we go away for family events. I am also sending out save the dates because my wedding is memorial day weekend and I want people to plan accordingly.
Rivera2be
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Re: No Save the Dates or Out-of-Town Arrangements?
STD's are not necessary, you don't have to send them or you can only send to your close family and friends. That is what we did. I'd recommend booking a hotel block, as long as you don't have to guarentee rooms, as its helpful to the guests. We had 10 rooms blocked and only 2 are for OOT guests. The rest are all guests who just booked rooms so they don't have to drive home that evening.
sjr385
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kattus
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Re: No Save the Dates or Out-of-Town Arrangements?
You don't have to block rooms, but it's a nice gesture in case people don't feel like driving all the way home at say, 11 or midnight.
We're doing a block of 10 rooms and don't have to leave a credit card or guarantee a certain number of rooms booked for that night. It's not much of a hassle to block rooms, especially if you plan on staying at the hotel that night, too.
csteen85
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Re: No Save the Dates or Out-of-Town Arrangements?
Thanks for all your responses. Our wedding will be on a Sunday, and will be over by 8 pm. We don't think many people will need a hotel, especially locals, because people will probably want to go home to get to work the next day. I am really only concerned about one out of town couple, but I think they will be able to fend for themselves.
I made the timing of the wedding earlier to accommodate people needing to get home and wanting time to get ready before going to work on Monday.
Personally, I dislike Sunday weddings that end at 11pm, so I didn't want to do that to my family and friends.
I think you've helped me decide against a hotel block. Thank you!
Gin-Char 104
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Re: No Save the Dates or Out-of-Town Arrangements?
Posted by Rivera2be
STD's are not necessary, you don't have to send them or you can only send to your close family and friends. That is what we did. I'd recommend booking a hotel block, as long as you don't have to guarentee rooms, as its helpful to the guests. We had 10 rooms blocked and only 2 are for OOT guests. The rest are all guests who just booked rooms so they don't have to drive home that evening.
completely agree and are doing the same.....
opps, should have read all the way down,,,,glad you were able to make a decision.
LaBellaVita7712
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Re: No Save the Dates or Out-of-Town Arrangements?
I did not do STD's even though everyone I know does them. I really never got around to them, as for hotel block I don't think I am doing that either lol. We really arent inviting anyone from far. But still may do it. Not sure yet.
LMEL1223
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Re: No Save the Dates or Out-of-Town Arrangements?
I wouldnt send out STDs if you don't want too but I would block off rooms. It is usually of no cost tot he bride and groom and it would be nice to do for the people who do decide to come from out of town.
futuremorasse
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Re: No Save the Dates or Out-of-Town Arrangements?
Neither are necessary. I did STDs for everyone but Im having a decently small wedding and we wanted almost everyone invited to attend badly. As for room block we didn't do because anyone coming in from OOT is family and will be staying with other family that lives locally.
Bride2Be78
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Re: No Save the Dates or Out-of-Town Arrangements?
We dont have many OOT but I'm sending save the dates and arranged hotel block. My hotel block costs nothing to set up.
renrico
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Re: No Save the Dates or Out-of-Town Arrangements?
I am still on the fence about a block of rooms because I don't have that many people coming from out of town and those that are coming will either stay with family or find their own accommodations because they will most likely be staying longer than just a day or two and will want to be closer to family than the hall is. The STD's were fun to send out though. Made things a little more real and I didn't spend a lot of money on them either. I believe it was something like $55 for 100 STD's. I only sent them to the people I know for sure I want there, so in reality I really only needed 75 cause I have a lot left over. It could've cost me even less had I figured that out ahead of time, haha.
Good luck though, and there are no rules you 'have to' follow, so do what makes your life less stressful and keeps you happy
P.S. I used snapfish for my STD's while there was a deal going on and then found a free shipping code, which I searched for on google. HTH!
