I was working on my program this morning and realized in the literature provided by my church that they don't believe in the unity candle. They say it's a gimmick and they would prefer not to have it. But if we feel strongly we could, but it can't be placed on the altar. I never knew this....I think every catholic church wedding I've attended did this. Did anyone run into problems with this?
kab523
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Re: no unity candle?
What church are you getting married at b/c I believe I have the same issue with mine.
thelastresort
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Re: no unity candle?
I know it's not a catholic thing so to speak. It is something that was brought in I guess by trend. I don't know if my church has a problem with it or not. I'll have to check it out.
magbride
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Re: no unity candle?
Posted by kab523
What church are you getting married at b/c I believe I have the same issue with mine.
St. Francis of Assisi in Greenlawn. They say it's a gimmick.
MNM7to7
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Re: no unity candle?
We met with the priest at our church last week and he said the church prefers us not to do the unity candle but if we really want to do it, we could.
micknjohn
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Re: no unity candle?
haven't heard of it, but if it's something you want, go for it!
PegaLega
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Re: no unity candle?
SOme of the churches allow it and some dont. Its really the churches choice on whether they allow it-most churches believe that lighting a candle together isnt the sign of you marriage or 'coming together as one' that your vows are what brings you together in marriage
kab523
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Re: no unity candle?
My church has crazy rules. I can't even put my own flowers on the alter!!!! I have to give a donation of $50 per piece to get alter flowers and I don't even get a say in what they look like...so I am almost positive no unity candle adn I already have one. Oh well!
davenjess
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Re: no unity candle?
Maybe you could do a sand ceremony instead - or would that be the same problem?
think back.... way back... to weddings in the 1980's and earlier..... NO UNITY CANDLE.... no sand ceremony... no hand ceremony. these are all recent additions to wedding ceremonies, frankly, beucause the sentiment is so sweet... but there's no religious basis to it.
Some relgions are more tolerant of ceremony modifications than others.... for Christians, several protestant sects allow the unity candles and sand / hand ceremonies. Catholics, as we all know, are more rigid in their ways. Within Catholicism, the US dioscese are much more liberal than dioscese in the old world... Our church allows unity candles, while to my knowledge, they're never allowed in a european catholic church. I hear that while many US catholic churches allow unity candles, I've heard they usually do NOT permit hand or sand ceremonies.
Becuase of our european roots, we had no unity candle..... We knew that the Americans would scratch their heads since it was missing, but the Germans and Poles would be OUTRAGED if we deviated from the expected routine...
Cpt2007
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Re: no unity candle?
Our church (right down the road from yours) doesn't go that far...but then again, it's not a Catholic 'thing' if you will.
If you feel strongly about having one, speak with your priest and ask how you can work it in.
We are personally thinking about not having it now...can't find one we like, I haven't gotten the motivation to make one yet, and also wondering if it would be too much with all of the other candles around (including the Advent wreath, which we may light instead).
But speak with your priest. That may help answer some of the questions you have. GL!
Winter07
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Re: no unity candle?
My church actually suggested it to me before I even said anything... I would do it anyway if that is what you really want... the representation is something spiritual, so it should be allowed in the ceremony!! I say go for it!
ant n tilde
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Re: no unity candle?
unity candles began in non religious ceremonies to show a 'union' between the two people
many churches feel that there is no need to add to the actual vows of the church, all that is needed to unite two people for life.
i am not doing one bc personally, i feel like all we need are the vows to unite us. my family has used them in the past but for off the boat italians it is unheard of usually
it is a beautiful ceremony but NOT part of the catholic mass so i can understand why they wouldnt allow it.
