Not a joke-but I think it's funny!
Very funny!
> 20 CLUES A WOMAN SHOULD CALL IT A NIGHT...
> >
> > 1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse/cell phone/wallet is.
> >
> > 2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my bootay
> while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.
> >
> > 3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly
> believe I could do it too.
> >
> > 4. In my last trip to 'pee' I realize I now look more like Tammy Faye
> Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago
> >
> > 5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which I'm eating even
> though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.
> >
> > 6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo
> much.
> >
> > 7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work.
> >
> > 8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.
> >
> > 9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
> >
> > 10 . The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and
> sing
> or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
> >
> > 11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep
> them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
> >
> > 12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
> >
> > 13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just
> lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.
> >
> > 14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen
> floor.
> >
> > 15. I start every conversation with a booming, 'DON'T take this the
> WRONG
> WAY but...' (hmm)
> >
> > 16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.
> >
> > 17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
> >
> > 18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be
> standing)
> >
> > 19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down
> on
> the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.
> >
> > 20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm
> having
> problems walking straight.
> >
> 20 CLUES A WOMAN SHOULD CALL IT A NIGHT...
> >
> > 1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse/cell phone/wallet is.
> >
> > 2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my bootay
> while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.
> >
> > 3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly
> believe I could do it too.
> >
> > 4. In my last trip to 'pee' I realize I now look more like Tammy Faye
> Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago
> >
> > 5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which I'm eating even
> though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.
> >
> > 6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo
> much.
> >
> > 7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work.
> >
> > 8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.
> >
> > 9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
> >
> > 10 . The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and
> sing
> or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
> >
> > 11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep
> them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
> >
> > 12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
> >
> > 13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just
> lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.
> >
> > 14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen
> floor.
> >
> > 15. I start every conversation with a booming, 'DON'T take this the
> WRONG
> WAY but...' (hmm)
> >
> > 16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.
> >
> > 17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
> >
> > 18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be
> standing)
> >
> > 19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down
> on
> the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.
> >
> > 20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm
> having
> problems walking straight.
> >
