not going to a wedding?

hsacks23r Posted: Jan 31, 2006 02:10 PM

not going to a wedding?

I was invited to a small family wedding out of state that we will not be able to go to
its this weekend and was sent an email that our invites were lost in the mail....
I would like to send $$ or a gift. How much $$ is appropriate and what kind of gift is appropriate?

stephanielyse Posted: Jan 31, 2006 02:18 PM

Re: not going to a wedding?

I'm in a similar situation. My parents said to think of it as a loan, whatever I give them I will most likely get in return in May. I'd say maybe $150 if you're comfortable with that?

jada2destiny Posted: Jan 31, 2006 02:21 PM

Re: not going to a wedding?

FH's cousing just got married in NJ last month and I'm gonna be honest, we just didn't feel like getting out of the bed and getting there for a 11am wedding. Since we know what we are spending per plate for our wedding, we sent $150. They were grateful

hsacks23r Posted: Jan 31, 2006 02:27 PM

Re: not going to a wedding?

Posted by stephanielyse

I'm in a similar situation. My parents said to think of it as a loan, whatever I give them I will most likely get in return in May. I'd say maybe $150 if you're comfortable with that?

the BAD thing is I am not inviting this family member to our wedding she is my cousins daughter.(who is having a baby-and I know she will not be able to come to NY) I am inviting my cousin.
Her wedding is being held in a fire house...not a hall or anything big.......

ali120206 Posted: Jan 31, 2006 02:35 PM

Re: not going to a wedding?

Is she registered? Maybe you can send a gift from the registry.

ZuzusPetals Posted: Jan 31, 2006 02:37 PM

Re: not going to a wedding?

Posted by ali120206

Is she registered? Maybe you can send a gift from the registry.

thats a good idea. you also said 'out of state' so usually the price per person is much less than that of a new york wedding. Also, you dont have to feel pressured to 'cover your plate' anyway your NOT attending the wedding. You are sending a courteous gesture - I think 50 - 75 is fine. Do whatever you can do. Plus, so many people dont even do this anyway - they will be very thankful no matter what!

ZuzusPetals Posted: Jan 31, 2006 02:39 PM

Re: not going to a wedding?

Also, you said that the wedding is a small affair - so keep that in mind. I also think it is odd that your invite was lost but I guess that type of stuff does happen.

hsacks23r Posted: Jan 31, 2006 02:46 PM

Re: not going to a wedding?

Posted by ZuzusPetals

Also, you said that the wedding is a small affair - so keep that in mind. I also think it is odd that your invite was lost but I guess that type of stuff does happen.

same here