FH & I both have large families, so our guest list consists of mostly family and a few friends. We're not inviting coworkers, but today my coworkers were joking around about what theyre gonna do at my wedding...
Are any of you not inviting people from work? How are you letting them down nicely?
FutureMrsM
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
If you're not going to invite coworkers I would start laying the ground work about keeping the guest list to family and close friends so that they are not even expecting an invitation... It's weird, but people automatically assume that they are invited just because you work together! I hate that. I have a similar problem, I am friends with two people in my office and not so much with the other two people in my office and I didn't want to invite all four and their spouses but I feel bad only inviting two of them so..... I guess I have to invite them all.
Camroy
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
I am inviting a limited number of people from my work. Many individuals have gotten married. Some invited everyone, some invited a selected few. Thankfully no one has really asked me. If they did I would just say that we're on a very tight budget and have a large family and unfortunately won't be able to invite co-workers.
JCJinMay
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
I am not inviting people from work and neither is FH because we just dont have the money for it. I have a large office and I would have to invite all of them which is like 17 people plus their spouse because that is the right thing to do. I also have only been there for one year. I dont want to have to deal with only inviting some and others being offended...i have to work with these people ya know.
coldasice217
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
I'm not inviting coworkers, but no one has really hinted to me either. Honestly I don't think they're expecting to be invited, just based on the nature of my personality. It's a small office, so it's either all or nothing, and we want to stay as close to our minimum as possible. If they say anything about it, I'm just going to be blunt and say that we're most likely keeping it family and close friends only. FH will be inviting some of his coworkers, but he's friendly with them outside of work as well so it's a completely different situation. Worst case scenario and a lot of OOT or elderly guests say no, they get B listed.
A coworker of mine is getting married this summer, so I'm curious to see how he handles it. I really hope he doesn't invite the office, because then they'll totally expect me to as well.
kgicrls
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
I am inviting some people from work. I am a teacher and can not invite all of my co workers. I am going to invite the ones that I am close with. Is that wrong?
Ivyqueenz
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I work at a really small school and I am only inviting one person cause I have known her for years (we came from the same old school). However, I am inviting about 10 people from my old school cause I feel a much closer connection with them. Dunno if I did the right thing, but I have made sure to say that my wedding is very small so that people don't assume that they are getting invited.
beram63
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
maybe start floating little details about how big the families are and maybe feign some capacity problems.
dedecakes
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
Well, I am most likely not going to make my minimum so I'll be inviting coworkers. But if numbers weren't a problem....I dont think that any of them would be offended if I didnt invite them. I would definitely invite my boss and one close coworker (so they have someone to talk to at the reception).
jennaandguy09
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
Its a very tough situation to be in ....I'm very lucky that I work in a small office, am comfortable and really like everyone I work with, so it will only be one table at the wedding, FH also has one table of coworkers at the wedding, but if you can't invite them, break it to them gently, saying maybe something like, as much as I would love to have you guys there to celebrate with us, the budget only allows for 'x' number of people. HTH and good luck!
MrsZtoBe
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
We are not inviting people from work either. I just keep saying, 'We are keeping the wedding as small as possible. Family only.' (They don't need to know the few friends that are coming.)
pa56
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
I figured since weddings are social events, I would invite only those co-workers with whom I socialize outside of work. I am also inviting my immediate boss. That's it. I am not inviting other co-workers with whom I closely work since I do not socialize with them.
No one seemed to care. And the entire department even threw me a bridal shower at work!
Whenever someone started asking me about my wedding (and they weren't invited) I would answer the question quickly and then change the subject. No need to go on and on about a wedding they won't be attending.
kimiequa
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
that's definitely tough... it depends on how your relationship is with them. you could go the direct route (haha not that i would have the balls to do that!)
good luck!
i luckily work in SC, so i wouldn't be doing anyone a favor by inviting them. we'll probably do a bash at our house and invite everyone there, but that will be a kegger with chippies! haha
Im a Pepper
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
I am not inviting people from work, but I have it easy. I live in PA and pretty sure my coworkers wouldn't even think of making the trip to NY for the wedding (so I'm not inviting them). I relocated here over a year ago from NY so I'm sure the Midtown Manhattan office doesn't expect to be invited. I still talk to some of my old coworkers from NY but I'd rather keep it just family and close friends.
mlcvln129
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
I'm only inviting five or six people from work (I'm a music teacher in two buildings). . .my director of fine/performing arts (who is my direct boss), the teacher I share classrooms with, the woman who I replaced since she's a good friend in another building, and three other music teachers. I can't even invite both of my principals with spouses because FMIL feels that it is her god-given right to invite people that she is BFF with but don't know HER OWN SON WHO I AM MARRYING. Plus, we both have big families.
Guess it's time to start a B list. . .
Jennmolloy
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
I work in a small office so I am inviting most of the people there. We have a warehouse full of guys but I am not inviting them.
sharivera
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
The people at my office that were going to be invited pretty much knew who they were. as did everyone else in my office. It was just my coworkers who i was also friends w/ outside of the office, we've been to eachothers houses, know eachothers spouses...etc.. FH is just inviting his boss (his mom made him b/c her husband used to work with him), and 2 coworkers he is friends w/ outside the office as well...
KerriJohnS
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
My department is like 20 people.. and with guests that's 40 people! There is no way I can invite everyone. I think I will only invite a VERY select few people... and put them on the B list. If I need to then I can expand it onto a C list. I might just try to talk to them one day over lunch about it. I'm sure they will understand. And to be honest with you, I think they will be glad to not have to give a gift anyway. I do know of 2 that I am DEFINATELY inviting and they know it too.
Jayla127
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
I did a search online for some answers and this is what I found.
While you may be on good terms with everybody at the office, the thing to do is ask yourself this: is this a person I would invite into my home for a dinner party? Do I socialize with this person outside of work functions? If so, then ask that person to your wedding. If not, then don't. If you're not close enough to certain people to have a relationship with them outside the office, they have no reason to be offended about not being invited to your wedding; they should not expect an invitation.
One way you can cut down on those who think they should be invited when they're not close to you at all is to keep wedding chatter at work to a minimum. If they don't know the details of when/where/etc, then they can't get their expectations up.
As you know, it's standard protocol to invite spouses, live-ins and signficiant others to any social event you host. However, it's entirely up to you about inviting 'Plus 1's' and you do not need to feel any guilt if you choose not to do Plus 1's. It's not about being able to afford it; it's about inviting people you actually know and have some connection to you and your family.
HTH
dutchessev
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Re: Not inviting people from work...
I am not inviting anyone from work. I told them up front as soon as I got engaged. I feel bad becasue I have been invited to 3 weddings in the last 8 months but I can't afford it.
I work in a hospital setting in crital care so I work with about 10-14 nurses a day + SCA, CSA that is a lot. You never work with the same people.
I counted and the list was like 45 people + spouse that is 90 people I don't think so.
So I was very honest. All or none. I choose none. I have a huge family, but fh is 1/10 and we go to different churches. So everyone bugs me about not being invited but they all know where they stand.
