My FH's best friend is getting divorced. She has moved out of their house and has asked for us to allow her to sleep on our couch. I have no problem with helping her. I did however get frustrated when she kept telling us that she would be coming and then would call the day we expected her and cancel. She kept staying with her new boyfriend. I guess I felt a little put off because I would get everything ready for her and she could not even call in a timely manner to let us know that she was not coming. Now, she has decided to come tonight. I am doing a show this evening (just back up singing) and FH was suppose to come but he has decided to stay home because she is coming over. I understand that he wants to be a good friend and so do I but, I feel hurt that he has decided to put her in front of me. I guess I don't see why he or both of them can't come to the show. Am I being selfish and childish?
MizStinker
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Re: Not sure if I am being unresonable...Help!!
Do you have these back up gigs frequently or is this a once in a while - need support event?
Sage10.03
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Re: Not sure if I am being unresonable...Help!!
I would be hurt too - especially given her track record for cancelling last minute!
Did you suggest to your DH bring her to the show and that it really means a lot to you that he is there?
heidla
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Re: Not sure if I am being unresonable...Help!!
I do these maybe 15-20 times a year but each one is different. Plus, I am filling in last minute and am a little nervous with this one.
I did suggest that he bring her but she does not want to come. So, FH wants to stay with her. I also don't think that the fact that this is an old girlfriend of his helps.
Stacey1403
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Re: Not sure if I am being unresonable...Help!!
I would be sooo hurt. You should come first no matter what!!! He should tell his friend that because SHE kept changing her plans that tonight isn't good for you guys because you have previous plans.
I have to give you a lot of credit. I would never let another woman move in no matter who she was
Stacey1403
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Re: Not sure if I am being unresonable...Help!!
Posted by heidla
I also don't think that the fact that this is an old girlfriend of his.
NO way!!!!! Tell him too bad!!! I am your FW she is not!!!!
MizStinker
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Re: Not sure if I am being unresonable...Help!!
Men sometimes don't think and need to be gently told some things that are very apparent to us. Tell him that you need his support tonight and that his friend can:
a stay at your house by herself b come with him c come over when you arrive home d not come over at all
Now you said that she just broke up with her bf but now she has a new one that she is staying with?
You I am sure you totally trust your FH and Im not saying this about him its this woman I am concered with- is she of the right charecter (sp?) to be a guest in your home?
heidla
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Re: Not sure if I am being unresonable...Help!!
I want to say that I do trust him it is just that their relationship is extremely close. I guess I just feel that he is putting her needs in front of mine. It hurts me. I have tried to tell him but I feel like I am being selfish. I know that she is going through a lot and I want to help, but not if it is going to change the dynamics of my relationship too much.
Thank you ladies!!!! I am just confused.
MizStinker
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Re: Not sure if I am being unresonable...Help!!
Heidla -
You shouldn't feel guilty you come 1st - do what your instinct and heart tells you to do - don't fight it. Thats my best advice.
I just wanted to clear up that it is not your FH you distrust, it is this woman you have to keep an eye on.
And she is his X for a reason - you are his future.
nrvbrd
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Re: Not sure if I am being unresonable...Help!!
Call me unreasonable, call me jealous, call me insecure- I do not care.
I do not think you should allow another woman (who is not a relative) to stay in the house where you live with your man.
Not saying your guy is not to be trusted, but IMO not a good situation.
bedda26
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Re: Not sure if I am being unresonable...Help!!
I agree with nrvbrd....I would like the idea of an old girlfriend at home with his ex...
AtticaQT
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Re: Not sure if I am being unresonable...Help!!
Posted by nrvbrd
Call me unreasonable, call me jealous, call me insecure- I do not care.
I do not think you should allow another woman (who is not a relative) to stay in the house where you live with your man.
Ditto! The only woman that I would ever let stay over is his sister...I would know NOTHING would every happen!
deby
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Re: Not sure if I am being unresonable...Help!!
You are not being unreasonable, I would feel hurt too.
