Hey girls, I'm so frustrated right now, I don't know who to turn to, I need some help! DH and I live in a house with his brother. He's a good person. The problem is DH's brother's best friend. David has been living in the downstairs basement for over a year now. He's giving rent, which is cool, but he's becoming an annoyance. He just recently got engaged to a sweetheart of a girl, but he's still living here! His work schedule is messed up, and he has crazy hours. But, there is ZERO privacy in the house because of this. He's home from 7-3 everyday and he hangs out here at the house because his fiance has normal hours like everyone else. We've all just gotten fed up with him being around. And just when DH's brother was going to tell him he's overstayed his welcome, David asked him to be his best man. So naturally, my bro-in-law felt bad at that point kicking him out. So now he's still here...and we've all HAD it. Like, really. I just needed to get this out to someone. It's such a horrible feeling when you feel you have no privacy. Any suggestions, ladies? DH and I are working on getting our own house, but it's proven more difficult than we thought. I know it's not MY problem per se, but I feel totally lost! What would you do? TIA!! xoxo
allornil
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Re: NWR: An Unwelcome Guest
ugh..annoying.
well, as long as he's paying rent, you cant do anything.
The only thing you can do is deal with it until you get your own place.
AngnShaun
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Re: NWR: An Unwelcome Guest
unless a time limit was agreed upon prior to him moving in theres nothing you can do.... if hes paying rent and not causing a serious problem you dont have any grounds to kick him out... and it would be weird to ask him to leave for the same reason...
someone should start talking to him about the wedding and maybe nonchalantly bring up if they are going to be getting an apartment/house together soon...
how exactly is he making so you have no privacy? does he not have a room or area of his own?
dancer14007
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Re: NWR: An Unwelcome Guest
Although he sleeps down in the basement, he is constantly up on the main floor of the house where the rest of us are because that's where the computer is, but he doesn't own it. He just uses it. The computer was bought by DH and my bro-in-law. So every night, he gets in at 11 or 12, and we'll be up the next day and he's on the computer. He'll also watch TV up here when there is a perfectly good couch and TV down in the basement. The full bathroom that we have down there is disgusting because of him. He has his clothes laying all over the place too. And because the bathroom downstairs is so nasty, he'll think nothing of using the one up here. He's extremely sloppy. I just don't get it. There's no reason for it. We're all miserable!
AngnShaun
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Re: NWR: An Unwelcome Guest
your DH or BIL should definitely tell him that he needs to be more respectful of the other residents of the house...
dancer14007
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Re: NWR: An Unwelcome Guest
I know, I agree. I mean, I know I can't say anything because it isn't my house, it belongs to the boys. But it still bothers me, ya know? Like, can ya get the hint and leave already?
AngnShaun
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Re: NWR: An Unwelcome Guest
Posted by dancer14007
I know, I agree. I mean, I know I can't say anything because it isn't my house, it belongs to the boys. But it still bothers me, ya know? Like, can ya get the hint and leave already?
absolutely... do they know how much it bothers you?
dancer14007
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Re: NWR: An Unwelcome Guest
Oh yeah, I've voiced my opinions to both of them. But like I said, since it's not my house, it's out of my hands. And DH isn't close with him at all. It's my BIL's bestie. I feel for him though, because I would definitely feel like an a**hole if I was just asked to be maid of honor in my best friend's wedding and then having to tell them that you need to get the hell out. I guess I just need to live with it until DH and I find our own house. God I hope it's soon lol
AwaitingAugust
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Re: NWR: An Unwelcome Guest
maybe he doesn't need to be kicked out of the house ... he should just stay in his basement rather than constantly 'live' in the rest of the house.
i would try to set some 'rules' about what times he should not be in the house (when he should be in the basement, or out) ...
win-win ... maybe.
Watermelon5
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Re: NWR: An Unwelcome Guest
that sounds like a nightmare lol
maybe you guys can just sort of mention something along the lines of wanting more privacy for yourselves. maybe something like, 'Sam, we noticed you like to go online at X hr; we like to just chill at that time and we dont wana cramp your style either - maybe X time wld be better?' Or maybe just be up front and be like, 'we know this is a shared space and we respect that, but we also feel that you need to respect that and give us some privacy (it doesnt sound like you're in the basement at all) espec since we're married now.'
hope it all works out!! just remember you'll be out in no time!
FutureMrsCat050412
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Re: NWR: An Unwelcome Guest
Maybe you should make him feel uncomfortable & then maybe he will want to leave.....
Maybe be a little louder than usual or walk around in a towel or something. Maybe he will be too afraid and uncomfortable to come upstairs
allornil
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Re: NWR: An Unwelcome Guest
Posted by FutureMrsCat050412
Maybe you should make him feel uncomfortable & then maybe he will want to leave.....
Maybe be a little louder than usual or walk around in a towel or something. Maybe he will be too afraid and uncomfortable to come upstairs
Lol maybe he'll never go downstairs again if she walks around in a towel!!!!
FutureMrsCat050412
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Re: NWR: An Unwelcome Guest
Posted by allornil
Posted by FutureMrsCat050412
Maybe you should make him feel uncomfortable & then maybe he will want to leave.....
Maybe be a little louder than usual or walk around in a towel or something. Maybe he will be too afraid and uncomfortable to come upstairs
Lol maybe he'll never go downstairs again if she walks around in a towel!!!!
true....
ImgonnabeMrsC
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Re: NWR: An Unwelcome Guest
yikes.
maybe the 3 of you should sit down and discuss it. Be like, we are looking for a house soon and we wanted to know what your plan is when that happens. Also ask 'so do you think you and your fiance will move out together?' just put your foot down if he asks her to move in with him! you do nottttttt want that! lol
