NWR: Asian brides...help if you're good with traditions (or non asian brides, if you know about this too)

I was born here and my parents were never very traditional. But DH's parents are VERY traditional. And now with the baby coming, I'm hearing about all these things that I have to do and that I can't do. I feel like everytime I see them, there's another tradition that I'm supposed to abide by. Most of my friends are in the same boat as me and only know bits and pieces...so I'm trying to piece everything together.

If you happen to know anything about what I'm not supposed to eat while pregnant (I was told mangoes and papayas...which I eat all the time), or like that whole post-partum one month ritual (no showering, staying in bed) thing. Or anything else for that matter.....please enlighten me!! Where do these traditions come from? Some of them make no sense to me.

what nationality are you?

I think all Asian cultures are different

Have you poked around LIF... the pregos and moms over there might have some advice for you.

How are you feeling jen?

I'm Taiwanese and DH's family is Chinese. Taiwanese culture is a little bit more of a mix of Chinese and Japanese cultures so maybe that's why my parents aren't as traditional.

I'm feeling good! It's going by so fast! I definitely feel preggo now. I'll check out LIF...I always forget there's that site. thanks!

i wish i could say i knew something about this but I dont. maybe googling something or LIF will help!!!!


good luck !

---

Posted by jenlen

I'm Taiwanese and DH's family is Chinese. Taiwanese culture is a little bit more of a mix of Chinese and Japanese cultures so maybe that's why my parents aren't as traditional.

I'm feeling good! It's going by so fast! I definitely feel preggo now. I'll check out LIF...I always forget there's that site. thanks!

---

I know in all asian cultures the 1st month after the baby is born is really important. like you have to sleep alot to recover, eat lots of seaweed for your blood flow(?), you shouldnt go outside, you cant go out especially when its windy, can't wash with cold water, can't drink cold water, can't read books(?), oh i know in some chinese traditions the mother cant wash their hair either (if you do some people think you'll have alot of headaches in your lifetime), and your supposed to have alot of fish soup and chicken..

well i'm sure you'll need to learn more of the chinese culture because your DH's family is Chinese and like you said your family isnt that traditional.

look at this site i found

http://www.hawcc.hawaii.edu/nursing/RNChinese06.htm

look what I found on Chinese pregnancy

some of them are crazy!
their saying that the mother should lsleep with knives under their pillows!!!


Chinese women shouldn't fear labour

According to Chinese custom, a husband should carry his bride over a pan of burning coals when entering his home for the first time to ensure she will have a successful labour! Once pregnant, a woman has to be careful in thoughts and actions as it is believed everything she does and sees will influence her unborn child. Reading beautiful poetry and stories is good but gossiping, laughing loudly and getting annoyed aren't. (Oh dear.) And sex is absolutely forbidden during pregnancy. (Dear oh dear.)

As for diet, Chinese women have to be more careful than most. There is a belief that if a pregnant woman eats food that's not properly cut or mashed, her child will have a careless disposition. Or if she eats pale foods, the baby will be fair-skinned.

Pregnant women should never attend funerals. They should, however, sleep with knives under their bed to ward off evil spirits (more likely to be inconsiderate husbands here). Baby showers are always held after the birth for superstitious reasons. A month before the due date, the maternal grandmother will send a package of clothes to her daughter called tsue shen, which means hastening delivery. A white cloth inside the package is for wrapping the newborn inside. The maternal grandmother will then wait for three days after the birth of her grandchild to visit, bringing with her clothes and baby equipment!

It is common for Chinese women to drink a strong herbal potion to help ease labour pains. A labouring woman will typically do so in an armchair or futon and, once the baby is born, she will pray to the goddess who helped her conceive, offering her sweet meats and incense.

Post-delivery, there is a well-established postnatal practice called 'doing the month' or 'sitting month'. During this time, a new mother does not leave the home and can stay in bed the whole time, if she wishes, to rest. Traditionally, she should have an assistant to accompany her during this period - usually the mother-in-law.

A new mother is also encouraged to follow traditional dietary advice and is kept very warm, as it is believed that women enter a 'cold phase' because of blood loss during labour and childbirth. Therefore, the new mum must avoid eating cold and raw foods and drinks so their energy is not further depleted. Family and relatives relieve her of her household chores so she can get all the rest she needs.

---

Posted by jenlen

thanks hannah! I wish I could figure what the background was behind these traditions. Some of them seem so random.

---

some of them are really crazy!

some of them are really similar to the Korean Tradition.

I need to study up on korean traditions for when I get preggo. (my DH's family is pretty traditional as well)

---

Posted by jenlen

I'm due Oct 5...it's coming up pretty fast hahaha

---

OMG! How exciting!
I love reading all of these traditions. It is funny because some of the Italian ones are similar ( not leaving the house for a month, no cold water ) but my family is not that traditional HERE

However, when I go to Italy I can't tell them it is that time of the month because then I am not allowed to shower or bathe - because they believe it could make your blood stop flowing you could die!

oh and i just read that link. you arent supposed to compliment the baby either! if you do you have to say God Bless him/her directly after to avoid the evil eye!