NWR- Family Advice

I try not to seek advice and sound like a downer, but I am at a loss for words.

Last night, I spoke to my younger, pregnant sister. We were discussing what she wanted for her shower when all of a sudden, she tells me that my family has bets on how long my marriage to my DH will last.

First, let me say that my sister never liked him. I was in a long term relationship that was over months before i finally officially ended it. My sister liked the ex and continues to have a relationship with him, 3 YEARS LATER!!!!! She even went as far as to tell me she considered having my ex as the god father of her unborn child.

Well, as the conversation continued, she tells me that my family sits around laughing and talking about us, yet these same people sat at my wedding, made toasts to us, and behind our backs they hate my DH. I'm so hurt and mad and upset.

Too add to this, I honestly believe that this is all out of jealousy. My sister is 22, pregnant, the dad wants nothing to do with her, she has no money, lives with my mom and will probably live there for a long time. When DH and I got engaged, we bought a house in Westchester, I graduated school, then we had a lovely wedding.

Help me, should I sound these people out or hold my head up and ignore it????? My poor DH has had it with them!!!!!

Re: NWR- Family Advice

That is a really hurtful thing to do. Your sister must definitely feel resentful of your happiness. I would just ignore it and just rub your marriage in all their faces. Attend all family functions and be sure to look totally in love. Constantly call your sister and tell her how amazing your husband is. That's what i would do. Just prove them all wrong!

Re: NWR- Family Advice

As long as you and your DH are true to your feelings for each other, your love will not be affected by them.

Just attend normal family cathering. Try not to interact with them too much.

People love to see other people in misery. It's a compensation for their own failures. It make them feel good.

Don't get trap into it. Live your life with DH to the fullest.

Re: NWR- Family Advice

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Posted by sr081906

As long as you and your DH are true to your feelings for each other, your love will not be affected by them.

Just attend normal family cathering. Try not to interact with them too much.

People love to see other people in misery. It's a compensation for their own failures. It make them feel good.

Don't get trap into it. Live your life with DH to the fullest.

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I totally agree. Don't let them get you down. Only you and DH know the strength of your marriage --who are they to judge!!! I would be very hurt as well, and would consider confronting the situation if it continued.

Re: NWR- Family Advice

You know what?

Ignore it - as the saying goes, the BEST revenge is living well - go to gatherings, look gorgeous, be together, and always look undeterred.... Just don't look like you are trying too hard, and they will eat their own words just by seeing how happy you 2 are together....

people stink sometimes!

Re: NWR- Family Advice

I agree with the ladies above, but I also know how it feels to want to confront them. I would suggest writing a letter to them...BUT DON'T SEND IT... keep it, or throw it away once you write it, so that at least you get everything off your chest. You will feel like you confronted them, but you haven't.

Just take it as your sister being jealous. Hopefully it will make you feel better about how jealous she is about your happy marriage. As for the rest of the family, people try to cut you down when they have their own insecurities.

Re: NWR- Family Advice

You're siser is acting like she's resentful of your happiness. Don't let it squash this wonderful time in your life as you celebrate your married life!!! Be happy, and if your family has made any of these comments, it's their loss that they don't see how happy the two of you together and how in love you are!!! If your family ever makes comments around you re this, then you have every right to fight back, but for now, just enjoy life and speak with your sister less, so she knows how hurtful she is being and allow yourself the freedom to be happy and madly in love!!

Re: NWR- Family Advice

Thank you for the strong words, I cried myself to sleep last night. I appreciate all the feedback!!!

Re: NWR- Family Advice

Obviously your sister is jealous and wants to make you feel bad - I'm sure she is jealous of your wedding, your day to shine, you as a beautiful bride, etc....

Also - she would not have told you unless she wanted to upset you - and what kind of person would do something like that?

You should tell her people are taking bets that no one will want her sorry @ss for the rest of her life.....

Re: NWR- Family Advice

How hurtful..why would your sister tell you that?

If it were me, I would confront your entire family and let everyone know that your poor pregnant (jealous-vindictive) sister spilled the beans.

Let these people know you know..maybe when confronted these people will cut the crap.

I'm so sorry..

Re: NWR- Family Advice

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Posted by lipglossjunky73

Obviously your sister is jealous and wants to make you feel bad - I'm sure she is jealous of your wedding, your day to shine, you as a beautiful bride, etc....

Also - she would not have told you unless she wanted to upset you - and what kind of person would do something like that?

You should tell her people are taking bets that no one will want her sorry @ss for the rest of her life.....

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You hit the nail on the head. She is so evil, her b/f can't stand her.

I can't begin to tell you how crazed I am sitting here at work.

Re: NWR- Family Advice

That is so upsetting. I am sorry your sister is acting so immature and hurtful. That is not appropriate to say even in a joking manner. Feel better and don't let her put a damper on your life. If she is jealous, maybe no one is talking about you and your DH.

Re: NWR- Family Advice

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Posted by lipglossjunky73

You know what?

Ignore it - as the saying goes, the BEST revenge is living well - go to gatherings, look gorgeous, be together, and always look undeterred.... Just don't look like you are trying too hard, and they will eat their own words just by seeing how happy you 2 are together....

people stink sometimes!

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yes, yes, yes!!!

the second you let this crap in your head, you will start to doubt yourself...sorry...some families become suddenly toxic...it's sad.

Re: NWR- Family Advice

I think it's sad that instead of being happy for me that I am moving forward in life, they want to be hateful and make me feel bad for wanting the better things in life. They call me the 'Westchester Snob' because I have an education and I am making decent money now. I think we should always want more for our kids and not hate on them because they are doing better.

I really am starting to believe that it's not just my sister. I really think my family is just 2 faced.

Re: NWR- Family Advice

OMG, that is so awful. I can't even imagine this kind of situation, especially when family is involved! It's even worse to tell you, I agree, she is obviously jealous!

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Posted by lipglossjunky73

You know what?

Ignore it - as the saying goes, the BEST revenge is living well - go to gatherings, look gorgeous, be together, and always look undeterred.... Just don't look like you are trying too hard, and they will eat their own words just by seeing how happy you 2 are together....

people stink sometimes!

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I absolutely agree. Being together, loving each other, is definitely the best revenge. It's hard, but giving them the opportunity to see that it got to you, makes it all worth it to them.

Re: NWR- Family Advice

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Posted by sr081906

As long as you and your DH are true to your feelings for each other, your love will not be affected by them.

Just attend normal family cathering. Try not to interact with them too much.

People love to see other people in misery. It's a compensation for their own failures. It make them feel good.

Don't get trap into it. Live your life with DH to the fullest.

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Good advice.