So about a year and a half ago I had this friend who was not only flaky with guys, but also was going to file a sexual harrassment suit against a professor. So naturally when she wanted to date a professor that my fiance worked with, I was a little uneasy, both for my FH and for her. So she went out on one date with him and didn't tell me until after, and then I told her I was uneasy with her going out with him, with the politics and all. It was only one date, but she was so mad at me for saying that. Really, I was only trying to be a friend. Well, that was the beginning of the end. Long story short, she said some really hurtful things on top of not believing that I was trying to be a friend to her. In addition,she wrote a very hurtful email that hit below the belt and played on something I was very sensitive about, and still am. We stopped speaking,but sill see each other in our dept and recently we were on a panel together for something at school. Now she's badgering me by email saying she wants to start over. But haven't you ever had a friend that hurt you so much that you can't ever really like them enough to be friends again? Or am I being unreasonable?
LaLa
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: forgiving friends--sorry, Looong!
I do not think you are being unreasonable.
glinda_goodwitch
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: forgiving friends--sorry, Looong!
I just told her by email that we can try the whole small talk thing and be acquaintences that don't ignore each other. But I have no interest in being friends with her. But I guess being civil can't hurt.
SuzBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: forgiving friends--sorry, Looong!
Posted by LaLa
I do not think you are being unreasonable.
I agree. I personally don't have much free time, so I would rather that free time go to TRUE BLUE friends. It is awful to waste valueable time on someone who would be so cruel. I just couldn't trust her not to do the same thing again if she got angry at you for something or other
glinda_goodwitch
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: forgiving friends--sorry, Looong!
Posted by SuzBride
Posted by LaLa
I do not think you are being unreasonable.
I agree. I personally don't have much free time, so I would rather that free time go to TRUE BLUE friends. It is awful to waste valueable time on someone who would be so cruel. I just couldn't trust her not to do the same thing again if she got angry at you for something or other
EXACTLY what I told her. But I guess small talk can't hurt if I totally remember not to get too close to her. We don't see each other much anyways. Just at departmental things.
janelovesharry
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: forgiving friends--sorry, Looong!
I have a friend like that...when I finally said enough, it felt like we were getting divorced She was my dearest friend for along time, but then she changed. The only things that mattered to her were $$$ and material things. She just wasn't the same girl I started out being best friends with. Now, my Mom, is asking if I am going to invite her to the wedding...in all fairness, my ex-friend, called me to say congrats on my engagement (FH best friend is her brother ) luckily, we played phone tag 3 times and I never called her back after that. It's hard to forget what was said and done, especially when it is so hurtful...so NO I don't think you are being unreasonable
Mrs. dleeny
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: forgiving friends--sorry, Looong!
I understand how you feel and IMO, I would not forgive. You were being totally civil and she went for your jugular. Totally unforgivable.
PegaLega
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: forgiving friends--sorry, Looong!
I had a friend like that...she still thinks we are friends and has no idea (supposedly) that I have chosen not to be her friend anymore. Every once in awhile she will send me a message and I am short with her.
And the situations were identical, I unfortunately have been given the IRISH CURSE so I dont know how to forgive and forget.
I dont think you are being unreasonable, obviously you were giving her your opinnion and as a friend she should be able to take it, if not, then she isnt a REAL friend. JMO
ElegantBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: forgiving friends--sorry, Looong!
I heard a quote a long time ago on Oprah and it helps me put situations like that in perspective
'when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.'
