NWR: funny email ('open toe shoe pledge')
Alright ladies, it's that time of year once again!!! I think we need to be
reminded of a few things. So my sisters, PLEASE, raise your big toes and repeat after me below...
The Open Toed Shoe Pledge
As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I
pledge to follow the Rules when wearing
sandals and other open-toe shoes:
I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My
toes will not hang over and
touch the ground, nor will my heels spill
over the backs. And the sides and tops of my
feet will not pudge out between the straps.
I will go polish-free or vow to keep the
polish fresh, intact and chip-free.
I will not cheat and just touch up my big
toe.
I will sand down any mounds of skin before
they turn hard and yellow.
I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed
girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me
the toe seam really will stay under my toes
if I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin,
glue or tuck it back into place hoping it
will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or
toss it.
I will not live in corn denial; rather I will
lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my
feet need him.
I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at
Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even
if my feet are small enough to fit into the
kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my
safety, and the safety of others. No one can
walk properly when standing in a pool of
sweat and I would hate to take someone down
with me as I fall and break my ankle.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of
the day if my toes swell and begin to look
like Vienna sausages.
I will be brutally honest with my
girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me
if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals.
Someone has to tell her that her toes are as
long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy
feet look good.
I will promise if I wear flip flops that I
will ensure that they actually flip and flop,
making the correct noise while walking and I
will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while
wearing them.
I will promise to go to my local nail salon
at least once per season and have a real
pedicure (they are about $15 or 20 and worth
EVERY penny).
I will promise to throw away any
white/off-white sandals that show signs of
wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white
sandals.
Don't keep this to yourself - pass it on to
other sisters.
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reminded of a few things. So my sisters, PLEASE, raise your big toes and repeat after me below...
The Open Toed Shoe Pledge
As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I
pledge to follow the Rules when wearing
sandals and other open-toe shoes:
I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My
toes will not hang over and
touch the ground, nor will my heels spill
over the backs. And the sides and tops of my
feet will not pudge out between the straps.
I will go polish-free or vow to keep the
polish fresh, intact and chip-free.
I will not cheat and just touch up my big
toe.
I will sand down any mounds of skin before
they turn hard and yellow.
I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed
girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me
the toe seam really will stay under my toes
if I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin,
glue or tuck it back into place hoping it
will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or
toss it.
I will not live in corn denial; rather I will
lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my
feet need him.
I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at
Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even
if my feet are small enough to fit into the
kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my
safety, and the safety of others. No one can
walk properly when standing in a pool of
sweat and I would hate to take someone down
with me as I fall and break my ankle.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of
the day if my toes swell and begin to look
like Vienna sausages.
I will be brutally honest with my
girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me
if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals.
Someone has to tell her that her toes are as
long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy
feet look good.
I will promise if I wear flip flops that I
will ensure that they actually flip and flop,
making the correct noise while walking and I
will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while
wearing them.
I will promise to go to my local nail salon
at least once per season and have a real
pedicure (they are about $15 or 20 and worth
EVERY penny).
I will promise to throw away any
white/off-white sandals that show signs of
wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white
sandals.
Don't keep this to yourself - pass it on to
other sisters.
