NWR: funny joke to start the day
One-wish Genie
A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed woman
asked if she got three wishes.
The genie said, 'Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth.
I'm a one-wish genie. So...What'll it be?'
The woman did not hesitate. She said, 'I want peace in the Middle
East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other
and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and
vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony.'
The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, 'Lady, please be
reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years.
I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm
good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another
wish and please be reasonable.'
The woman thought for a minute and said, 'Well, I've never been able
to ;find the right man. You know - one that's considerate and fun, likes
to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed and gets along
with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful.
That is what I wish for...........a good man.'
The genie let out a sigh and said, 'Let me see the freaking map again.'
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OH HERE IS ANOTHER ONE... SAME IDEA:
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, 'Lord grant me one wish'. The sky clouded and a booming voice said, 'Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish.' The man said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to.'
The Lord answered, 'Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me'.
The man thought for a long time and finally said, 'Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy?'
After a few minutes God said, 'How many lanes did you want on that bridge?'
A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed woman
asked if she got three wishes.
The genie said, 'Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth.
I'm a one-wish genie. So...What'll it be?'
The woman did not hesitate. She said, 'I want peace in the Middle
East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other
and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and
vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony.'
The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, 'Lady, please be
reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years.
I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm
good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another
wish and please be reasonable.'
The woman thought for a minute and said, 'Well, I've never been able
to ;find the right man. You know - one that's considerate and fun, likes
to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed and gets along
with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful.
That is what I wish for...........a good man.'
The genie let out a sigh and said, 'Let me see the freaking map again.'
OH HERE IS ANOTHER ONE... SAME IDEA:
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, 'Lord grant me one wish'. The sky clouded and a booming voice said, 'Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish.' The man said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to.'
The Lord answered, 'Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me'.
The man thought for a long time and finally said, 'Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy?'
After a few minutes God said, 'How many lanes did you want on that bridge?'
