So I went out to dinner with FH last nite and we were talking about our friends and how we lost touch with people over the years. We both have a decent amount of friends and at this point I consider his friends mine and vice versa. I told him I was thinking a lot lately of old friendships and how I was friends with different people over the years and that maybe if I made more of an effort with some of them I would still be friends. He said that there is a reason why I'm not friends with them and they could have made the effort too which is definitely true. I mean I consider most of them aquantances but not close friends. I guess I feel that it's hard to stay close with so many people over the years too. I guess I just wanted to get other peoples opinions on this subject too...does anyone regret not staying in touch with some people or do you feel that there is a reason why your not friends with them now and that you are friends with the people you are supposed to be friends with? I'm just curious. Thanks.
VeggieBride
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Re: NWR- General 'friends' question
most people dont remain friends with all of people they were friends with in school or what have you.
BUT- i admit i tracked down my best best friend from 5th grade through high school and invited her to our wedding because we always talked about being there for each others big day.
There really doesnt have to be a big reason why you grew apart- the truth is you both grew up and apart- not because you got into a fight or anything, ya know?
LadyDuda81509
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Member since
Re: NWR- General 'friends' question
it is very hard to stay friend with everyone!! even my close close friends i find it hard to make time to hang out all the time! everyone has busy lives! there are certain people you will always be friend with no matter how often you see each other! people lose touch it happends! but if they are truely meant to be your friends they will always be there regardless how often you see each other! and it also does take both end to continue a friendship! and i wouldnt make the effort if there wont be any effort back!
on a good note! even people you lose touch with will come back! a girl i was best friends with from birth (our parents were friend and our bdays are a week apart) till about 12th grade. Well we lost touch when we went to college, she made new friends so did i.. didnt speak for years! Well i guess my wedding has brought us back! And ive learned that she is always going to be my friend!
LousBride09
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR- General 'friends' question
Posted by LadyDuda81509
it is very hard to stay friend with everyone!! even my close close friends i find it hard to make time to hang out all the time! everyone has busy lives! there are certain people you will always be friend with no matter how often you see each other! people lose touch it happends! but if they are truely meant to be your friends they will always be there regardless how often you see each other! and it also does take both end to continue a friendship! and i wouldnt make the effort if there wont be any effort back!
on a good note! even people you lose touch with will come back! a girl i was best friends with from birth (our parents were friend and our bdays are a week apart) till about 12th grade. Well we lost touch when we went to college, she made new friends so did i.. didnt speak for years! Well i guess my wedding has brought us back! And ive learned that she is always going to be my friend!
Yea I totally agree with you. I find it hard to stay in touch with my close friends and get together as it is. I also had a best friend from hs who I lost touch with and we got back in touch trhough facebook actually lol..and I went to visit her in chicago and now she is coming to my wedding. I guess I'm just asking because I gave my mom like 12 of my friends to invite to the shower ...I just wanted my bridesmaids and closest friends...not acquaintances that I speak to once in a while. She seemed kind of surprised that I was just inviting 12 people... I thought it seemed like the average amount no?
springsandra
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Re: NWR- General 'friends' question
I have several people who have come in and out of my life who I believe were the 'out of sight, out of mind' types, and for the most part I have been correct. My senior year roommate in college was my close friend for four years, but as soon as college was over, I never heard from her again. We just drifted apart, and it felt natural not to be friends really anymore.
My best friend from high school moved to Canada for college after graduation. I heard through the grapevine that she'd gotten married. It wasn't until a few years later that I saw her on facebook. We started chatting again and caught up. She had a second child and we talked some more. Then she and her husband moved to NY a few months ago. I went over to their place and we started hanging out again. It was like time never passed -- we were still the same, comfortable, friendly people we ever were. Still got along just as well and had so much in common. It was comforting to know I hadn't lost that.
Now I'm moving to NC in a little over a month and it will be so different for me. With things like facebook and IM and email, it's so easy to keep up with people. I feel like facebook helps people be passive participants with each others' lives. I like it because, for example, I could invite my best friend from kindergarden to a mets game with me and we can go and it not be weird. (We did two weeks ago and it was a blast!)
It's true that all these people could reach out to me, too, but it's ok either way. I don't really feel like friendship knows limitations, so I'm fine with drifting in and out of friends' active lives.
bag19
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR- General 'friends' question
i think its natural that when life changes, your friends do too. there are a few friends from the past that i feel really bad about not being in touch with anymore. its really easy to say 'the phone works both ways' and just brush it off. facebook has definitely helped keep in touch with old friends bc people move, or change numbers, etc. the nice thing about fb is all you need is the persons name. i think if you want to reconnect with old friends that's great! and maybe after you do, you'll find out if it was a good thing you drifted in the first place, or not.
