NWR: How do you tell someone

Original post by Kris77

Dec 19, 2005 09:21 PM

that they are dangerously overweight? I have a friend who is pushing about 250 lbs, and it's effecting her health. I feel terrible, but I feel like I need to confront her. She cant climb a flight of stairs without becoming winded. She overeats wherever she is, and to be quite honest, she makes a glutton of herself. I just dont know how to approach her. If she keeps eating the way she is, she is going to die of a heart attack. Theres nothing genetically wrong with her, no thyroid issues, etc. She just eats like an animal, gets no excercise, and see's nothing wrong with being so overweight.

HELP!

hbradio Posted: Dec 21, 2005 11:33 AM

Re: NWR: How do you tell someone

Posted by Goldi1021

Posted by lipglossjunky73

It's a shame we can't do an intervention for something like this - such a touchy issue - good luck - keep me posted!

Speaking as someone who was 'dangerously overweight' herself with borderline diabetes, high cholesterol and severe joint pain, my answer would be 'keep your mouth closed'. Interventions for weight loss make the problem worse. They don't grant people epiphanies where they say 'Gee thanks, I didnt know I was heavy and sick.' (I didnt mean that to sound snotty but thats how it is.)

I was 260 pounds at 31 years old. I wore a size 24. I knew I was overweight and nothing anyone told me, whether it be family member, friend, or FAT JOKE could get me to lose weight until I was mentally ready. She KNOWS she's heavy. If she is 250, she shops plus-size departments and stores like I used to. She doesn't need reminders from friends. It can often make people feel worse and eat more despite the best of intentions. The best thing you can do is support any effort she tries on her own and be there for her and be sensitive.

People eat in gluttonous ways for many reasons that may not make sense to the average person. They copy what they see - modeling from parent's behaviors. They may hoard food for reasons dating back to a childhood that lacked any food so whenever it WAS there, it was gobbled rather than savored. It is not always cut and dry. I assure you.

I COMPLETELY AGREE. Trust me, she knows shes overweight. You say she eats like a glutton, she knows the consequences whether or not she admits it, she KNOWS. There is nothing you or anyone can do or say to make her feel better or changer her habits. The only person who can help her is herself. And that will happen on her own time.