NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

So FH and I have been TTC for about a year and a half, a medical issue forced us to make a decision to either try or wait an extra year and a half. So we decided to try. So during this really tough process more medical issues kept popping up, but we have been trying to stay positive although some days are harder then others.

Now, a very good friend of mine had been struggling with this issue for about 3 years, so when she finally conceieved I was honsetly very happy for her. When the baby was born one of the first things that she said to me is 'Girl you don't know what you're missing, this is the best feeling in the world, nothing can match my joy right now...' Which I thought was a little to much. I understand she is over the moon and I am happy for her, but I don't think she had to go that far! SO obviously when we left I was hysterical.

Since August; more serious complications have arisen and I have been having a very hard time with appts, medication, emotions, etc. Do you know that she has never, and I mean NEVER asked me how I was doing? Everytime we speak she is 'the baby did this, the baby did that, I am so happy I have him, it is the best feeling, I hope you can one day experience this!'

I don't know if I am being selfish, or to sensitive, but I thought true friends are supposed to understand and be a little bit more careful.

Sorry so long, I just needed to let this out.

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

I understand what you are saying... i sincerely hope she is just being dense and not understanding or realizing that those words are not helping you, but hurting you....

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

Awww ... I just read this and I think honestly she is so thrilled to the point of wanting to share it with you and include you ... she probably thinks she is making you feel better in some convoluted way. I doubt she is doing it maliciously.

Why don't you talk to her and explain how the things she says affect you? I guarantee you she has no idea she is hurting you ... probably just trying to share her joy with you because she knows how much you want to be there too.

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

I totally can understand your upsetment. FH and I are in the same boat. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I have actually stopped talking to a friend due to her lack of sensitivity.
If you need to talk FM me.
I would be more than happy to listen.
Hang in there!

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

i understand what you're saying and i don't think you're being unreasonable. i think your friend is just dense and doesn't get it but she still should be sensitive to your situation. maybe you can say something to her along the lines of 'i'm honestly very happy for you and hope that i get to experience the joy you are right now, but i would very much appreciate it if you would be sensitive to the situation fh and i are in right now and maybe try to talk about something other the baby for a while'

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

im sure shes not doing it on purpose but she should be more considerate. is there any way you can let her know how you feel? Dont give up hope your day will come and if not than theres plenty of babies out there that would love to have you as a mom. stay strong!

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

I'm sorry you feel bad, but most of the time people are just so consumed in their own lives that they don't 'get' that their words could be hurting someone else.

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

awww
i dont think she means any harm, but I do think that she's too quick to speak w/out thinking.

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

wow. i can't believe she is acting like that. I understand she is ecstatic right now but she was once in your position and should understand how hard it is. she def needs to be more sensitive to your feelings. You should def say something to her....just say you are soo happy for her but sometimes she makes you feel bad because your having such a hard time.

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

Thanks girls for all of the support and making me cry, but in a good way!

I will definitely talk to her about it, and hopefully she will not take it the wrong way.

I'm off to the doctors again, so wsh me luck.

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

i really don't think you are being too sensitive or selfish AT ALL. i know that difficulties with TTC can be so painful and stressful, and of all people she should understand!! i'm sure she's not trying to be malicious, but i definitely think that you should sit down with her and let her know how you're feeling...that you're really happy she's happy, but that you're also struggling with stuff and you wish that she would be more sensitive. if she doesn't get it after that.....maybe she's not a very good friend?

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

That's awful. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. Hang in there, when it's right, it'll happen for you and FH.

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

I'm sorry It does seem that when someone has an infant or a toddler they become very baby centric and it's every other word out of their mouths.

If you ever want to talk, FM me. We are in the same boat where it's now or never.

Re: NWR: Inconsiderate friends (kinda long)

First off, you need to have a talk with her. If she is the good friend you think she is, then you should be able to talk with her honestly about how you are feeling.

Just feel her out and see how she reacts to your feelings. If she is truly your friend, she will apologize and acknowledge how insensitive she has been.

But if she gets defensive then maybe you need to reconsider her friendship. Just some food for thought.

HTH