NWR - Is an ultimatum ever okay? Long/need help
I know ultimatums sound really horrible, but is there ever a time when it's okay? When you NEED one?
Like my FSIL has been literally making our lives miserable for YEARS. Fh had a good relationship with her when he was a kid, but not anymore, and she's really done numerous things JUST to cause trouble. And everytime we try to have a relationship with her, her husband or her kids, it turns out awful. I've cried and argued about it enough. It's just constant for years. She makes up fights, she makes up exchanges that never happenned. The last time I saw her there was an incident with her husband and his sister and friend, and it was a big fight. When last FH and I spoke with her she said she wasn't going to take sides because she wasn't there, and that two of the people involved were moving to FL and I wouldn't have to see them again so I shouldn't care, and she doesn't care and she would try to smooth things over with her husband who was trying to say we couldn't all see each other. SO the way we left it, she had no problem with us, and was going to try to work it out. NOW all of a sudden she's saying that she and I mutually agreed we couldn't see each other, and she feels bad about not being able to see her brother, but that *I* didn't bother to apologize to people I supposedly hurt (yeah, the same people who are moving and I wont have to see again). And this is EXACTLY the kind of **** she pulls ALL the time. i'm really tired of it. it's been YEARS now. She spreads her BS around to the whole family and turns them against me (Once she decided to tell the whole family I was cheating on FH). Still FH wants to have hope or denial, thinking they'll have a relationship one day. I sincerely don't think it'll ever be the case, especially with her DH and his family stirring the pot as well. I'm really tired of the up and down. Trying to pretend we like them, bringing gifts for the kids, and then having her spread all of these lies. I really want to tell FH it's her or me. I told him this is IT. She's dead to me, and when he talked about his sister I'm going to say 'what sister?' and I told him it's her or me, one of us is going to be in his life, and the other one he'll never speak to again. i know it sounds So horrible, but I can't have this yo yo effect and her making my lfie miserable forever!!! Plsu she uses the kids agaisnt us too, that we can't see the kids. it's hard to see the kids and lov them and then have that ripped from you. I just don't want to go through it anymore.....help!
Like my FSIL has been literally making our lives miserable for YEARS. Fh had a good relationship with her when he was a kid, but not anymore, and she's really done numerous things JUST to cause trouble. And everytime we try to have a relationship with her, her husband or her kids, it turns out awful. I've cried and argued about it enough. It's just constant for years. She makes up fights, she makes up exchanges that never happenned. The last time I saw her there was an incident with her husband and his sister and friend, and it was a big fight. When last FH and I spoke with her she said she wasn't going to take sides because she wasn't there, and that two of the people involved were moving to FL and I wouldn't have to see them again so I shouldn't care, and she doesn't care and she would try to smooth things over with her husband who was trying to say we couldn't all see each other. SO the way we left it, she had no problem with us, and was going to try to work it out. NOW all of a sudden she's saying that she and I mutually agreed we couldn't see each other, and she feels bad about not being able to see her brother, but that *I* didn't bother to apologize to people I supposedly hurt (yeah, the same people who are moving and I wont have to see again). And this is EXACTLY the kind of **** she pulls ALL the time. i'm really tired of it. it's been YEARS now. She spreads her BS around to the whole family and turns them against me (Once she decided to tell the whole family I was cheating on FH). Still FH wants to have hope or denial, thinking they'll have a relationship one day. I sincerely don't think it'll ever be the case, especially with her DH and his family stirring the pot as well. I'm really tired of the up and down. Trying to pretend we like them, bringing gifts for the kids, and then having her spread all of these lies. I really want to tell FH it's her or me. I told him this is IT. She's dead to me, and when he talked about his sister I'm going to say 'what sister?' and I told him it's her or me, one of us is going to be in his life, and the other one he'll never speak to again. i know it sounds So horrible, but I can't have this yo yo effect and her making my lfie miserable forever!!! Plsu she uses the kids agaisnt us too, that we can't see the kids. it's hard to see the kids and lov them and then have that ripped from you. I just don't want to go through it anymore.....help!
