NWR - Issue with a 'friend' (sorry a bit long)

Have any of you girls ever had that kind of friend that you would call a 'fair-weather' friend?

My FSIL and I have not always had the best relationship...at times yes, at times no. FH and FBIL are only 16 months apart (FH is older) and I thought when we were starting dating, it would be great the four of us were so close together in age.

Over the last four years, FSIL has backstabbed me on several different occassions, causing issues amongst the family as she would choose to tell FMIL only things I said, but NEVER things she said....therefore, looking like 'Ms Perfect'....

In any case, I have no relationship with FMIL, and FBIL and FSIL the relationship has become quite distant. And all along I tried to be a shoulder for her to cry on (she's all drama and there is something always wrong).

Most recently, she threw me under the bus at a 'family discussion' after our engagement party...and overall, our party was ruined (not just by her).

She hardly ever speaks to me anymore, and when she does, its ALWAYS about her....and mind you, she is pregnant (due in two weeks)....

I have a hard time NOT caring because it's very hurtful towards me after I have tried to be such a great friend.

Do I just not talk to her? Only speak to her if she speaks to me? I have tried several times to talk to her about things but it's always Im sorry, it won't happen again but then it does.

IMO, her goal (from day one, cause she is jealous of me) was to make sure I was the 'black sheep' in the family...and she's succeeded in that.

What do I do? And mind you, this whole family issue causes stress with FH and I.



Thanks for letting me vent....you girls are so nice on here I figured maybe someone could give me advice.

And I hope I don't come across snotty or anything or that I think I am better than her (although secretly I am...lol)

TIA.

Aww...I'm soo sorry that you are going through this. My best advise would just to keep your distance from her just for a little while. Since she's pregenet her hormones can def. be all out of the norm... Just show her that you will always be there for her and the LAST thing you want is to cause any drama. After a little while I would talk to her again and explain that you would like to solve out all the issue that you have between the two of you. That may show to her that you stuck to keeping your distance to let her think things out but then you finally approch her to prove that you don't want a lifetime of fighting and drama. Hope it all works out for ya

What does FH do in this situation? Has he tried to talk to FMIL about it? Maybe you can have her over and explain what is going on... Not to trash FSIL but to clear your name and make it known that you would like to have a relationship with FMIL... If it sounded like a b*tch session, she might be turned off, but if you were honestly sharing your feelings about the situation, being mature about it, and showing an interest in improving it... I think FMIL would respond well... Just a thought.
Then you can just forget about being anything other thank fake nice with FSIL... it seems like she has no self-esteem and sees you as her competition...

Thanks girls!

Well...regarding the hormones thing...FH and I have been together for four years almost...so it can't be because she's pregnant..lol.

And we tried to discuss the issues with FMIL after our engagement party, but it didn't go anywhere....she claims she has no issues...LIAR.

In any case, I have tried numerous times to talk to FSIL and it's always 'I'm sorry, it won't happen again...and things will get better'....um...LIAR

Cause it always happens again...and yes, I think it is jealousy...because before I came into the picture, she had ALL of FH's attention since she was the only one around (has even told FH if she wasn't with his brother, she would have dated him...um, ewww)...

So once I came around, I was everything she wasn't....I like sports (so FBIL liked that cause she didn't like sports)...and there are lots of things about me, that she isn't...not to sound conceited.

So best thing is to stay away....I have no choice. I've tried and tried (more than her) and it gets me heartache. I was 'on the list' to be godmother to her baby, yet now I'm not...hmmm....that changed after I picked my bridal party (which she is not part of).....either that or FMIL didn't want me to be godmother so FSIL backed down to her (like she always done).

Anywho....thanks girls for the advice! I need to surround myself with positive people and forget the negative ones!

Thanks for posting!

PS - FH doesn't like confrontation...he did stand up for us at the family discussion, but I guess you can say we're both the black sheep...FMIL treats him so different from her other son....and its so blatanly obvious. So sad

omg.. Im so sorry.. I think we all have someone like that in our lives.. she obvisouly likes being the center of attention and shame on you for stealing her thunder while she is pregnant! lol

What does your FH say?