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NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

barbtony Posted:

NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

Deleted....Thanks for your help ladies.

grkbarbie Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

talk to him calmly and find out where his anger is coming from. maybe hes terrified and expressed it in the worse way possible twds u.

really dont knwo what else to say?
Jenna_and_John Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

Omg I don't think I would answer, you 110% DO NOT deserve to be yelled at. You talk to him at your own time not when he's ready to give you his rage no way, hang in there!!!!!!!!!

RitasEngaged Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

are you fkn kidding me - the nerve of people

I would ignore him or rip him a new a$$hole
MrsC2010 Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

omg thats terrible....i can't believe he is completely forgetting about all the wonderful things you did for her.

i think you should talk to him or maybe email him so you can get all your thoughts out without him yelling. Be honest about how much you did and how you needed a break when you found out the cancer was gone. I am sure he is just acting this way because its a stressful time for them but hopefully he realizes he is wrong after he sees what you have to say.


good luck!
Jna2010 Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

well im glad she was able to get through it, its a shame though that all your help and effort went forgotten. I would pick up the phone and tell him like it is; you helped her as much as you could (which is above and beyond what most would do), but now you need to take care of things that youve neglected, but she's your friend NOT your child you dont need to call her x amount of times a day or hang out with her x amount of hours. And honestly why is he butting in? if she has a concern she should call you, the phone both works both ways!

AngnShaun Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

Posted by grkbarbie

talk to him calmly and find out where his anger is coming from. maybe hes terrified and expressed it in the worse way possible twds u.

really dont knwo what else to say?


that is a very good point... and ITA...

obviously if you were there during everything... then he can't say that you werent... this situation obviously isnt easy for anyone involved... but you need to talk to him and make sure its not yelling...
barbtony Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

Posted by RitasEngaged

are you fkn kidding me - the nerve of people

I would ignore him or rip him a new a$$hole


I love you Rita - not that I've already thought of that - but he's a pain in the you know what and he'll just keep calling. Can't talk to him like a normal person.
regy_k Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

Unbelievable!
I dont know what to say other than that ppl always remember the bad stuff and not the good.
u so not deserve to be spoken that way!
I do think like Barb, he might be totally spent and needs someone to yell at. I would answer the phone, let him yell/say whatever he needs, and then calmly ask whats wrong with him. hopefully this will help, but who knows....
Bride825 Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

def answer the phone and just let him vent....what you did for them is truly amazing and you sound like a great friend....i know a little bit about how difficult it is to deal with something like cancer and i think thats whats causing him to act this crazy....so i think its best to just listen to him and understand that his anger is only coming from him dealing with this disease......i hope everything blows over soon
mariedsgn Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy



This is crazy - I would tell him that you helped them out the best that you could and there is no reason for him to make you feel guilty about that! You have a life too, and it seems that you were there when it counted.
barbtony Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

Posted by mariedsgn



This is crazy - I would tell him that you helped them out the best that you could and there is no reason for him to make you feel guilty about that! You have a life too, and it seems that you were there when it counted.


Yeah - did that - apparently my life is not important and it doesn't matter what I need.
Katlyco Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

Posted by Jna2010

well im glad she was able to get through it, its a shame though that all your help and effort went forgotten. I would pick up the phone and tell him like it is; you helped her as much as you could (which is above and beyond what most would do), but now you need to take care of things that youve neglected, but she's your friend NOT your child you dont need to call her x amount of times a day or hang out with her x amount of hours. And honestly why is he butting in? if she has a concern she should call you, the phone both works both ways!


Perfectly said..ITA!
AngnShaun Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

Posted by barbtony

Posted by mariedsgn



This is crazy - I would tell him that you helped them out the best that you could and there is no reason for him to make you feel guilty about that! You have a life too, and it seems that you were there when it counted.


Yeah - did that - apparently my life is not important and it doesn't matter what I need.


I'm so sorry... has your friend had anything to say to you about it? or is it just him that youre talking to!
barbtony Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

Posted by AngnShaun

Posted by barbtony

Posted by mariedsgn



This is crazy - I would tell him that you helped them out the best that you could and there is no reason for him to make you feel guilty about that! You have a life too, and it seems that you were there when it counted.


Yeah - did that - apparently my life is not important and it doesn't matter what I need.


I'm so sorry... has your friend had anything to say to you about it? or is it just him that youre talking to!


To be honest - He told me that she didn't know he was calling - so I highly doubt that he told her what he said.
RitasEngaged Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

Posted by barbtony

Posted by RitasEngaged

are you fkn kidding me - the nerve of people

I would ignore him or rip him a new a$$hole


I love you Rita - not that I've already thought of that - but he's a pain in the you know what and he'll just keep calling. Can't talk to him like a normal person.


AngnShaun Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

Posted by barbtony

Posted by AngnShaun

Posted by barbtony

Posted by mariedsgn



This is crazy - I would tell him that you helped them out the best that you could and there is no reason for him to make you feel guilty about that! You have a life too, and it seems that you were there when it counted.


Yeah - did that - apparently my life is not important and it doesn't matter what I need.


I'm so sorry... has your friend had anything to say to you about it? or is it just him that youre talking to!


To be honest - He told me that she didn't know he was calling - so I highly doubt that he told her what he said.


Maybe he really has snapped...
MikesBride2B Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

Posted by barbtony

Posted by AngnShaun

Posted by barbtony

Posted by mariedsgn



This is crazy - I would tell him that you helped them out the best that you could and there is no reason for him to make you feel guilty about that! You have a life too, and it seems that you were there when it counted.


Yeah - did that - apparently my life is not important and it doesn't matter what I need.


I'm so sorry... has your friend had anything to say to you about it? or is it just him that youre talking to!


To be honest - He told me that she didn't know he was calling - so I highly doubt that he told her what he said.


If this is the case then the next time he calls you should say something like 'Obviously I can't have a rational conversation with you. If she has a specific issue with me that she would like to discuss, please have her call me at her earliest convenience. I will no longer discuss this issue with you and I will not pick up the phone for you until you have shown me that you are calm and rational'

Then hang up.
marinai7 Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

I would just calmly talk to him and ask him why he is so mad. Maybe remind him of all the things that you did do. I'm not sure where his anger is coming from. Sorry you have to deal with his pestering phone calls. Hope it all works out. Good Luck!!!!

AdriandSteve Posted:

Re: NWR: NEED HELP & OPINIONS - A little lengthy

Honestly... and i'm learning from experience if your friend is mad at you for something then she should be talking directly to you. Not going through her husband. For all you know her husband could be saying these things to you but she's ok with your actions and is understanding your reasoning.
(aah just read it again. She doesn't know)

She is your friend. He is only around cuz of her. Deal with your friend directly and just ignore her husband's phone calls. Don't let her husband ruin a friendship

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