So in high school i swore that i wanted to be a hair dresser as my career so i went to boces and missed out on a lot of regular high school stuff so that i could be set right outta high school i had no intentions on going to college it just wasnt for me. so i got a job the summer after i graduated and realized that although i was good at what i did i HATED going to work everyday so i decided that i would go tocollege.. and have been there ever since. had no idea what i wanted to do with my life so i got my associates in liberal arts and still didnt know what i wanted to do with my life... So i went back to BOCES and finished my medical assisting 'degree' and absolutly loved every min of it. and loved working too. So i thought hey if i love this as much as i do maybe i shold be come a nurse and do the same stuff and get paid more. Well heres the catch guys i have to go back to school. So im back in school getting the prereqs. that i need to get in and well im FAILING miserably. i know im not applying myself b/c i HATE what im doing. So i got a part time job as a medical assistnat and i just love it!
I really want to quit school and just do this as my career but i feel like a failure. FH whole family is extreamly accomplished and i just dont fit in. His brother got his RN his sisters getting her masters degree and FH has his batchlors and got it in 3 years no less. And non of them can understand how hard school is for me. I cry about this just about everyday. Parents told me making 10-13 dollars an hour isnt a career. So thats why im still in school cuz i feel like i just dont cut it if ya know what i mean. So my ? is WHAT DO I DO???
With my grades i wont get accepted into any other programs (wasnt going for nursing was trying for X-Ray tech) and i feel like maybe i just need some time away from school and maybe go back in a few years and try again.
I also took an entrence exam to get into an LPN program at boces but i dont know how i did and wont know if they are even going to consider my application for another 3-4 weeks.. PLeASE HElP
Belongs2DanBuckley
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
finish the semester and take a break..you extrememly distracted right now w/ wedding plans and ur not applying yourself...not to mention wasting $$$. Go back when you feel like you can put your best effort forward...but GO BACK!!! your still young so its ok to do that right now...you not a failure- you're working right? Trust fate to guide you in the right direction...
LuvMyAlfonse
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
Finish out the semester if you can... I agree with BTDB - definitely go back... I know how you feel. I've been to about 4 different colleges already but I love where I am now and it never would have happened if I hadn't took time and spent money to figure it out.
Everything happens for a reason. Go with your gut. Do what you love.
kimnsteve
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
are u kidding me right now!!!! you are one of the nicest and most personable people on these boards ...and you are coming down on yourself!!!
a career is something that you choose to do ...not by how much you get paid ...but by what you actually enjoy doing ....you cannot compare yourself to your Fh family because of the degrees they have ....listen i never graduated college and sometimes i think that my parents are disappointed in me but you have to look past all that and decide what is good for oyu...NOT THEM!
why dont you look into esthetician school...they are gettin paid mucho bucks ( one of my friends just opened up a business doing the laser and microdermabraision...stuff like that) Just and idea.Top pa is 75 $ an hour ...how bout that for a masters degree!!!!
I used to me a medical assisstant and i loved it ...i do miss it ...it's a lot of fun...you know ur gonna see something different everday and meet new people ..so i understand why u like it
i say wait for the results of ur application and then consider ur options after that...dont worry you will be fine ....HTH
Soon2BMrsD
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
thanks girls.. i needed to hear that the thing is if i cant get a full time job i lose my med. benifits and i cant go on FH yet cuz were not married... hence the only reason im still a full time student! and my parents are up my A@@ everyday to finish school but their not the ones that have to go everyday and cry when they dont pass an have chest pains cuz they are so stressed out.... god im sorry im a mess today... rainy days make me cry!!1 off to work ill beback around 8
curiousgeorge
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
From personal experience, I totally know what you are going through. My first semester of college right out of high school was 6 years ago, I just never went to class and barely showed up and I only went because my parents were making me, mainly because of health insurance reasons. Health insurace I get through fh as a domestic partner (thats right!! domestic) they have it for couples who are homosexual (not married) and they cannot by law deny us. I signed an affidavate that we intend to be together forever and bammmm I have health insurace, so find out about that!!! Anyway....I had no idea what I wanted to do and LOVED waitressing and I still do! So that is exactly what I did for 4 years until I said its time...I dont know???SOmething inside me just clicked and I really really wanted to go back to college...so at this time I have all A's and B's because I APPLY myself now (Now that I actually care) before I was like screw it I hate school bla bla....I am in the pre nursing program now getting my prerequs and I cant wait. In your case many many many people feel the same way you do. So dont get down about it. Just go with the flow...do what you love. Work full time as a Medical assistant. take a break from school until you are ready to go back and save as much money as you can, get married and just live life the way you want to and dont let ANYONE tell you how to live it!!! You will regret it, if you listen to other people/ Plus also note this...not every who gets there bach or masters is doing what they wanted to do or what they went to school for and alot of them paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for education and books and they come out not finding a job or they come out starting at 40k a year with loans up the a$$ (sorry but true) so you have to be careful and really like what you are going to school for and choose it wisely!! GOODLUCK!!!
AMGBride2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
Megan, I totally want to respond to your post, I have to do it later though. Hang in there girly!
JeanineP2B
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
Hey Megan! Just wanted to offer some encouragement!
Don't be so hard on yourself darling! You are not a failure!!!! You're making an effort and you're trying to figure out what the right thing is for you ! That's ambition!
Science prereqs are challenging. When I started the nursing program, I struggled with applying myself too! I had to quit my jobs so that I could focus and concentrate, and it's all finally working out!
What exactly do you want? Would you be satisfied doing what you're doing forever, despite what everyone else may think? Or do you really want to become an x-ray tech/nurse? Either one is great if it's what you want but if it's the latter (x-ray tech or nurse), don't give up!
My best advice would be to either quit your current job so that you can focus on school OR keep working, take a couple of years off from school and then reapply later on when you feel that you're ready.
Either way, I think you'll be just fine! You're SO young and you shouldn't feel pressured or rushed to do anything. Your parents want the best for you but they will understand and support whatever you decide because they'll realize that it's best for you to do what you love to do!
I'll be praying for ya! Let us know if you hear from them about the LPN program!
beachbum05
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
Welcome to the quarter life crisis!!!
I am currently in this stage with you. I quit my job, moved to Boston, and here I am.
I've been out of college for 3 years, working great jobs, but never being happy with my job (I saw them as 'a job' not 'a career'). So after interviewing up here, and not getting anything I wanted, I decided (recently!) to go back to school.
I was TERRRRRRIBLE in college. I mean, I partied like a rockstar, and I didn't apply myself - AT ALL. I just don't think I was ready. I went away to school, and it was my first time away from home. So yes, I graduated, but he!!, I could have done a lotttttttt better.
But now I'm ready. I think I've taken enough time away from school, and worked enough jobs to really figure out what it is I want to do.
I know what you mean about comparing yourself to your FH/FH family. Mine was valedictorian of his prestigious private school., graduated near top of his class in college, and now is in Harvard Business School. His family has ivy league backgrounds. Mine? I was first to graduate college in my family. So I completely understand. But what I think is RIDICULOUS is the pressure that kids feel at ages 20-25 to know EXACTLY what you want to do, and if you don't you're looked down upon. People change careers more than 5 times before they actually settle into one. So don't feel ashamed, and don't be hard on yourself. Look, I'm 25, and I am JUST NOW starting to figure out what I want to do. You're 21? 22? You have SOOOOOO much time.
Don't work towards something that you DON'T want to do. If nursing isn't working out for you, don't do it. Save the money and save the time. If, though, this is something you really want, and school is just bringing you down, then take some time away from it. You will ALWAYS be able to go back to school. Even if its 10 years from now.
Just remember that everyone moves at a different pace, and its ok if you aren't where everyone else thinks you should be in life right now. It's not a race!
jgl
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
Worry about yourself and not what others are saying. If you are not into it... then your not, you can't force it and you can't let others make you decide when you aren't ready.
you are still young, you have time. Keep searching.
GL
YOU HAVE FM
Mrs. V 2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
I agree with alot of the other girls!! Definately take a break. It sounds like your under a lot of stress and that can greatly affect your performance in school! And I would do what you feel you want the most,...if thats being an RN go for it! your coming down on yourself to hard..if you really want something you can do it, not matter how hard you may think it is! have faith in yourself and I think you'll find that you can accomplish way more than you thought originally!
AMGBride2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
OK, so here's what I was going to say. Don't worry about what your FILs think or what your parents think. Your future is for you and you''re the only one that has to live there, so you might as well take as much time you need in figuring out what you want to do.
I have a my Bachelor's degree and I STILL don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I'm just coasting along until I figure it out. You'll never figure it out unless you try different things.
I say finish this semester and then see what happens.
You seem to really enjoy doing what you're doing now.... do you know how rare that is?! Seriously, i don't know very many people who actually enjoy what they do, so consider yourself lucky.
Good luck and never be ashamed of what you have accomplished and never be afraid to try and accomplish more!
Soon2BMrsD
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
ok so its 11 and i finally got some time to get on here and you have all got me crying!... never met any of you and its amazing how nice you all are and how your kind words have really helped!!!
i told my parents that i think its time for me to take a brake from school and it wasnt easy my mom seemed a little disappointed as well as my dad. but they want me to be happy! so it was good to hear.
FH said he was sorry and he doesnt care if i work at mcdonalds for the rest of my life if thats what i want to do. He said i only push u beause i know u can do it. and i agree i know i can do it its just not the right time in my life to be doing it. I dont have any choice but to work right now so i can not completely focus on school work. so well see... if i get into the LPN program i just might do it. but if not then it will be time to take a brake
i just want to thank u girls for all your encouragement your all so sweet!
beachbum05
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
YAYYYYYYYYYY
See, a good FH will always be there to help you when you feel like you're drowning. He's a keeper.
Just de-stress....unwind, and have a drink.
Soon2BMrsD
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
you know what i think my problem is.. FH and i need some time alone... were lucky if we get a few hours everyday since he leaves for work at 445 am and im work late hours. And we just need time togheter non interupted so we can talk and do other things... hehehehehe
i really want to do soemthing special this weekend... any ideas?
TheFutureMrsM
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
Wow your situation sounds alot like me. I went to nassau but never finished because i really never wanted to be a career person, and work in manhattan or work crazy long hours. FH's family is extremely accomplished and educated sometimes i feel weird, but they accept me for who i am. I had a job that paid 12 dollars an hour, with medical, bonuses etc. but the daily grind and feeling under appreciated really got to me. When i left i joined FH's company, but i just help out there. I guess i just never wanted that career and at 26 i definately accept it now.
rysie
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
We'll I know I'm late here but just wanted to send you some hugs!! It's not easy to figure out what you want to do with your life in terms of the job / career stuff. I think that there are just some people who 'know' what they want to do and then there those who, like me, just haven't figured it out! And that's okay! My aunt who has 3 small children and in her 40's has recently decided to go back to school to be a nurse and is doing her pre-reqs now! Everything will fall into place when you are ready! Good luck!!
As for the weekend, what about going out East...wine tasting?
AMGBride2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
Posted by Soon2BMrsD
you know what i think my problem is.. FH and i need some time alone... were lucky if we get a few hours everyday since he leaves for work at 445 am and im work late hours. And we just need time togheter non interupted so we can talk and do other things... hehehehehe
i really want to do soemthing special this weekend... any ideas?
Just lock yourselves inside your apt. (you live together right?). Get everything you need to spend a nice cozy weekend inside with just the two of you Friday night, turn off the phone and just sit around, eat, cuddle, watch movies/TV, sleep... to me, that sounds like the most perfect weekend. I'd totally be doing that if FSIL wasn't spending the weekend...
Soon2BMrsD
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
id totally do that if we lived together i hate not livin together it *****!!!!! i dont know well figure something out.. thanks for all the advice girls really appriciate it.
i was tlaking to my mom yesterday and i kinda realized why i dont really want to do anything and its not cuz im not motivated. i just always loved having my mom home when i was a kid and then due to the times changing she had to go back to work so she missed every lacross game. every swim meet, all the things that went on at school. So i always just wanted to be a MOM is that stupid? to feel that way now? i mean i love my job and i like to work but i really want to be a mom when i grow up..hehehehe i dontknow just had the light bulb go off yesterday!
im weird iknow
tdebe
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR: need some advice... EXTREAMLY LONG!
I think it's great that you want to be a mom. These days, they put such a negative spin on women wanting to stay home with their children, and I think it's unneccessary. Everyone is different, and mom's are the most important relationship in any kid's life. No matter how equally parents split the responsibilities, moms have a tendency to do more and be there more. I think you're in a good position right now because you're certified already for a career that you can fall back on if you ever want to go back to work or something happens to FH and you have to work. I think every women should have the option to work if they want to, but if not then go out there and be the best mom ever.
