NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

MrsHtobe Posted: Apr 20, 2008 12:45 PM

NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

So - I'm probably going to delete this, so don't quote me.

I got invited to a baby shower for a friend from college (she got prego, they had a justice of the peace marry them, now she is due in June)

We weren't super close in college, she was a sorority sister, and we haven't really spoken more than once or twice since graduation (and it was via AIM, not even the phone)

So . .today, I get an EVITE for her baby shower from her sister. I was kind of surpised that I was invited, considering we don't talk and how expensive it can get throwing a big party like that - its at a restaurant. I call one of my other friends who got invited also (I saw her name on the evite) and word is - they are having everyone pay for themselves!!!!
Like, I knew they were tight on cash, but seriously? Dont invite so many people then. . .

I wasn't going to go anyway, but am I wrong in thinking that is so inappropriate?!?! If you don't have the money to throw a shower - I'd rather be invited to a BBQ at the house or a pizza party or a party with just snacks or something - or heck, no food at all! I just think that is so rude . . . if I went and was caught offguard, I'd be pretty taken back.

Opinions?

angl2001 Posted: Apr 20, 2008 12:49 PM

Re: NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

TACKYYYYYYYYYYYY

and jeri is on the phone and she said the same thing!!!

so they expect you to pay for yourself to eat AND A GIFT rediculous!!!!!!!!!!!!!

very rude

MrsHtobe Posted: Apr 20, 2008 12:50 PM

Re: NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

::HI Jeri::

Espo22 Posted: Apr 20, 2008 12:51 PM

Re: NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

WOW i am very shocked too and yeah i am sorry but its very rude. Like you said, if money is tight then why invite so many ppl which she obviously is doing bc you said you havent even spoken to her much over the past few years so you were even surprised. What i am going to guess is that they might have to pay a certain to the restaurant so maybe thats why they are inviting all these ppl just so they can cover the costs.

So people are supposed to bring a gift and pay for themselves? WOW, and just curious but how much do you have to pay if you want to attend?

i agree too, have it at home then. I went to a shower last summer, her parents had it at home they have a huge backyard and it was one of the best showers ive been to. ALthough it still can cost money bc they had the food catered, they rented a tent and chairs and decorations but you dont even have to do all of that. You can have it inside the house, can get a few trays from a local restaurant and keep it simple.

MrsHtobe Posted: Apr 20, 2008 12:54 PM

Re: NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

Thats the funny party too - they didn't mention having everyone pay for themselves, so I really have no clue how much it would cost. I guess at the end, they just plan on telling everyone what they owe?

I'm just completely taken back.

I just feel like there are so many other alternatives lol.

angl2001 Posted: Apr 20, 2008 12:59 PM

Re: NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

its a little sneaky also to not put it in the invite....whats she gonna do say oops i forgot my check book when the bill comes???

angl2001 Posted: Apr 20, 2008 01:00 PM

Re: NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

hey colleen wanna take you out to dinner!!!!!!!!!!!1

but you have to pay for yours...im still taking you out tho!

MrsHtobe Posted: Apr 20, 2008 01:01 PM

Re: NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

Ahhh. Atleast I'm not alone on this

Espo22 Posted: Apr 20, 2008 01:07 PM

Re: NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

Posted by MrsHtobe

Thats the funny party too - they didn't mention having everyone pay for themselves, so I really have no clue how much it would cost. I guess at the end, they just plan on telling everyone what they owe?

I'm just completely taken back.

I just feel like there are so many other alternatives lol.

so its not even on the invite? WOW how do they plan on doing that lol that is crazy

Toucan311 Posted: Apr 20, 2008 01:07 PM

Re: NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

That sounds really classless.

larsgirl98 Posted: Apr 20, 2008 01:09 PM

Re: NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

that is very tacky....if one is throwing the party they pay for the party. if you cant afford it have something little in your house with your close friends and enjoy the day.

bluegreen08 Posted: Apr 20, 2008 01:17 PM

Re: NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

my opinion is that the baby wasn't planned, they are probably short on cash, and wanted to get as many gifts as possible but couldn't afford to throw a big shower.

are you sure they are having everyone pay their own way? if it doesnt say it on the evite it might not be true...

i think it's tacky... i would rsvp 'no' and maybe send a very small gift. however, since it's an evite, and given the circumstances, you could probably get away with rsvping no on the evite and not sending a gift at all.

Gigi08 Posted: Apr 20, 2008 01:25 PM

Re: NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

All I can say is wow!

MrsHtobe Posted: Apr 20, 2008 01:34 PM

Re: NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

Posted by bluegreen08

my opinion is that the baby wasn't planned, they are probably short on cash, and wanted to get as many gifts as possible but couldn't afford to throw a big shower.

are you sure they are having everyone pay their own way? if it doesnt say it on the evite it might not be true...

i think it's tacky... i would rsvp 'no' and maybe send a very small gift. however, since it's an evite, and given the circumstances, you could probably get away with rsvping no on the evite and not sending a gift at all.

This is what I'm thinking I'm going to do. I don't talk to her much, but she obviously needs lots for the baby. The baby wasn't planned, I think you hit the nail on the head.

And I think my friend is right about everyone paying. I can't see them having the money to throw a big shower, and I don't think their parents are involved. Kind of sad, actually.

:-/ oh well

ChristineAaron08 Posted: Apr 20, 2008 01:42 PM

Re: NWR: Pay for yourself shower?

thats downright rude and unacceptable, esp since it wasnt on the invite.

I totally agree, dont invite ppl you havent spoken t in a while and keep it small, at a house or something.

The fact that you havent sopken t her recently and they invited you sounds like they just want you to send a gift