NWR: PET LOVERS I don't know how to feel (long and sad)

Original post by siffleuse319

Apr 08, 2008 06:10 AM

Our family dog is dying. I raised him for 4 years while I was in college before giving him to my parents for a better life. Now he's 13, lumpy, tired and deteriorating. He's still alert, greets us with a wagging tail at the door, and plays with his favorite toys.
The past 3 days my parents have cried to me and told me that he's dying, that it's only a matter of days. Yesterday they called me at 10:30 to let me know that the vet was scheduled to come over at 11:30 to euthanize him. I left work in tears and went to say my final goodbyes. My parents were both crying when I arrived. My dad called my brother to give him the option of saying his goodbye and also to let him make the decision as to whether or not he would go through with his marriage proposal as scheduled. My father could barely make it through that conversation and my heart broke a million times over just listening to him.
I let the dog kiss me all over my face and neck, I shared a hershey kiss with him as my tears coated his nose. Our goodbye was so painful and heartfelt. And then I left to begin my grieving process. I drove home in agony, knowing that my beloved had less than an hour left in his short life. I replayed each vivid memory and cried so loudly in my car. When I got home, I went under the covers for and hour and a half and cried. And a piece of my youth left me as well. He represented so much in my life and now the door was closed. He would soon be lying in my mothers arms, dead.
For an hour and a half I progressed through the stages of grief, so painful and exhausting. And then, my mother called to let me know that the vet doesn't think he's ready to go!!!!!!! They paid hundreds of dollars for this reprieve because they felt that he still had some quality time left in him. It's still only a matter of days, maybe weeks, but yesterday wasn't his day. Alas, we have our beautiful boy....and my brother can get engaged and not share the day with the anniversary of our dog's death. That should have made me feel happy and blessed.
I can't stop crying. I know that I will need to go through this horrible process again and I can't bear it. It's so surreal. I literally have to bring my boy back from the dead in my mind. I don't know how to feel.
If you've gotten this far.....thank you kindly. I really needed to get this out in words.

Danielle623 Posted: Apr 08, 2008 07:29 PM

Re: NWR: PET LOVERS I don't know how to feel (long and sad)

OMG......I, for the first time in my life, own a dog. We've had him since August 2007. He isn't even a year old yet. I can imagine how you feel and I've only had my dog for less than a year. I've realized that it doesn't take long to get attached. We almost had to return the dog to the place we got him because we discovered that has a severe overbite that could effect him down the road. THANK GOD, the place refused to take him back because let me tell you........I was a complete mess. I can only imagine how you feel. But....if you can find it possible to look on the bright side.....you went through the worst already. You thought it was his time already. Plus, you've already started the grieving process when you first realized he was'nt himself. How hard that must be. You will continue to grieve but the worst is over because you were already exposed. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It really really may be for the best because to see him suffer and be weak is worse. Keep your chin up.

jgl Posted: Apr 08, 2008 10:07 PM

Re: NWR: PET LOVERS I don't know how to feel (long and sad)

Im so sorry hun!!

jessnstu08 Posted: Apr 08, 2008 10:10 PM

Re: NWR: PET LOVERS I don't know how to feel (long and sad)

chrissybean77 Posted: Apr 08, 2008 10:14 PM

Re: NWR: PET LOVERS I don't know how to feel (long and sad)

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this difficult time
I know that it is not easy to lose a pet and I have been there as well when we had to put down our beloved dog 'Pepper'. My heart is breaking for you and your family. Try to enjoy this time that you have been afforded with him due to the reprieve. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.

hannahshim Posted: Apr 08, 2008 10:25 PM

Re: NWR: PET LOVERS I don't know how to feel (long and sad)

omg i'm soo sorry

cherish83 Posted: Apr 08, 2008 10:27 PM

Re: NWR: PET LOVERS I don't know how to feel (long and sad)

I'm sooo sorry!!! I cant think of what you are going though. I have four dogs and they are like actual members of the family. I'm so sorry you are going through this. If you ever need to talk, feel free to FM me

GinaBambina08 Posted: Apr 08, 2008 10:32 PM

Re: NWR: PET LOVERS I don't know how to feel (long and sad)

I'm so sorry that you're going through this...I truly know how you feel...it's hard to deal with your pet dying, but to watch him die takes it to an entirely different level I think...

krisa1129 Posted: Apr 08, 2008 10:33 PM

Re: NWR: PET LOVERS I don't know how to feel (long and sad)

We also had to put our yellow lab to sleep, he was 13 years old....and he was mine. I totally understand what you are going through, but if I could have a few more days with him I would cherish it. I also felt that I had lost a family member, and I was literally sick to my stomach for a few days after it happened. I got him him cremated, and got an urn for him, and I have gotten a few nasty comments from friends and family that I am strange because it is just a 'dog.' He was a huge part of my life, and I did everything with him.

It will be hard for a while, and I still think of him often, and look back fondly on our memories together. Enjoy your time with him now, and I am so sorry you have had to go through this. If you need to talk, FM me.

wundmoretime Posted: Apr 08, 2008 10:44 PM

Re: NWR: PET LOVERS I don't know how to feel (long and sad)

I am so sorry to hear this. It is a tough call to make sometimes. My Fh's family dog was just put to sleep about 2 weeks ago, after being in the family for about 15 yrs (they were not sure how old she was exactly-she was passed to different family members over the years). My sister had to put her dog to sleep after 15 years and she suffered for a long time but has recently purchased a new dog. I personally felt the lose also. I had a dog for 6 yrs that was my baby and he got ran over by an oil truck. After 6 days in ICU, we found out he was paralyzed and had to put him to sleep. We had a great dane that lived to almost 7. He had his stomach turn, it happens to large dogs, and we had to choose between a 2k operation and maybe a year of life with questionable quality or put him to sleep. We choose to end his suffering. I am dreading the day I have to put my current dog to sleep. I recently found out he has a brain tumor. I can't afford the treatment and there would be no guarantees. He is almost 12 and I have had him since he was 4 weeks old. When I heard his diagnosis, I want to fall apart, but I know I have to take it day by day. Right now, he is mostly alright. I don't know how I will handle it. Know that when the time comes, the dog won't be suffering any. It is hard, but time will heal you, I promise. I have been through it enough to know. You will never forget but you can move on. My thoughts are with you.

SOTHISISLOVE53109 Posted: Apr 08, 2008 11:40 PM

Re: NWR: PET LOVERS I don't know how to feel (long and sad)

Oh my, I cried as I read this. I love my boy to death and I can't even imagine what your feeling right now. I cant' imagine having to say good bye and the hershey kiss broke my heart. Just spend time with him he still has some fight for a reason and if you make it ok with him it will be his time. I send you and your boy tons of hugs and prayers for a very peaceful passing and for you to deal with this and to find the strenght from day to day.

klovess14 Posted: Apr 09, 2008 12:00 AM

Re: NWR: PET LOVERS I don't know how to feel (long and sad)

I'm so sorry!!! I know how you feel and I'm so happy that your parents gave you the chance to say goodbye. My Shepard, my life, my love, looked ill one morning and I sat and stared at her wondering if she was ok, well I gave her a kiss like I always did before I went to school and when I came home she wasn't there. I looked everywhere for her and finally someone called me to tell me she was gone. I never got a chance to hold her or kiss her. It was the saddest day and the longest night because she slept in my room on my bed everynight since she was a puppy. It's so heartbreaking.

NapaValleyGirl Posted: Apr 09, 2008 06:59 AM

Re: NWR: PET LOVERS I don't know how to feel (long and sad)

OMG. I read your post and started to cry. I lost our beloved family dog March 10th and it was so painful. I cried for two weeks and so did my father which was really jarring. I had never seen my father so upset. My younger brother, who is borderline antisocial, was crying and has been home almost every night to hang out with my parents because he is so hurt.

I know what your going through and just cherish the moments you have with your beloved.