Here’s a scenario…A co-worker, whom I was never close with when she worked in our office, stopped by to visit me while she was here for a meeting. She commented on how I was “disappearing” and if I had “lost any more weight, I would be anorexic”. I was flabbergasted but felt I needed to defend myself – as I have always felt my entire life - by saying that no, I have actually gained weight. I was embarassed and I felt really miniscule (no pun intended!).
Afterwards, I started to fume about it. I wondered what her reaction would have been had I reversed the tables and commented on how it looks like she “didn’t lose her baby fat”. I wonder why it is socially acceptable to “hate the skinny b i t c h” and feel free to comment on her weight, but it is not OK to reverse the scenario. For once I would love to turn the tables but I would never – not b/c it is socially “taboo” but b/c I think it’s really rude and inappropriate to comment on someone’s weight or appearance. Blanket comments without knowing the person, in particular, are invasive and outrageously rude - IMO.
I was just wondering how you all felt about this reverse prejudice and if any of you have been on either end of it – whether the one hating the “skinny b i t c h” or being the hated…and how you’ve handled it.
What-Now
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Re: NWR QOTD: Reverse Prejudice and Social Acceptance
CP, look at it this way: you have something that A LOT of women want: a skinny body! And they are watching you eat to understand what it is tgat you are doing right to keep yourself in good shape!
jennbaby
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Re: NWR QOTD: Reverse Prejudice and Social Acceptance
I could NOT agree more!
People have NO common sense or NO mentality to say the word skinny, but they don't like being called fat?
I agree skinny is NOT a compliment!
If we were to ask them (bigger people) what they weighed they'd bug out I get tons of compliments, and oh you are so lucky etc but still...
Jordan
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Re: NWR QOTD: Reverse Prejudice and Social Acceptance
As a sidebar - I really detest the word 'skinny'...but that's probably a backlash from hearing it for forever. I prefer using thin.
WhatNow...sorry, NO one is going to get any tips from watching me eat. I am genetically thin - just look at my dad. I eat whatever I want, whenever.
It's funny - people try to find excuses for me. 'Oh, your vegetarian, that's why you're so skinny'. Um, no, I was thin when I ate meat. 'Oh, you hate chocolate, that's why you're so skinny'. Um, no, my sister is the Chocolate Queen and she's thin too.
The funniest was probably all the people who wished Fatdom on me. 'Wait until you turn 25, then you'll gain weight.' When that came and went, it was, 'Wait until you turn 30, then you'll gain weight.' We're all still waiting, apparently!
Somehow this has turned into a gripe session. I really wanted to know why there was such social acceptance for this particular reverse prejudice. I still can't figure it out. It all sounds like excuses to me.
june262004
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Re: NWR QOTD: Reverse Prejudice and Social Acceptance
I would nover ask how much they weighed wheter it was 80 pds or 400 pds wether they were 9 or 90 that is rude.
jennbaby
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Re: NWR QOTD: Reverse Prejudice and Social Acceptance
I too have always been thin & I am 34.
Maybe when I have children I'll gain but if not, thats ok too. I have learned to accept it, but when I get comments like 'Oh my do you eat?' I reply, I see not nearly as much as you' Or I will say worse even!
People need to learn that they CAN NOT say things, to someone THIN for it may hurt that person.
Yes why is 'fat' accepted and 'skinny' is not?!
What-Now
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Re: NWR QOTD: Reverse Prejudice and Social Acceptance
OMG, i don't get it, you guys! What's wrong with being called skinny??
As someone who was an overweight teenager and then got herself in shape, and has to watch what she eats and exersice to stay a size 2, can i just say: SKINNY is a good word! yes, it comes naturally to some people, but not to all of us! I gave myself the body i have, and sometimes I wish i can eat anything I want, but I cant! It's not like I starve myself, but can't have ice cream and pizza everyday, or I will gain weight! And i could be in a better shape, but unfortunatelly, i can't make it to the gym as often as I sould!
Believe me, skinny is not a bad thing to hear! When someone tells me 'Oh you are so lucky, you are so tiny!' I smile and say 'thank you!' Bur to myself I think, 'I am not LUCKY, i am just carefull and I want to look good which is why I take care of myself and watch what I eat!'
And bring on the compliment, call me skinny! please, I don't mind!
june262004
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Re: NWR QOTD: Reverse Prejudice and Social Acceptance
SEEE thats the thing Skinny is accepted and fat isnt thats why everyone comments 'omg ure so skinny' 'I wish I was skinny' cause thats what everyone want us to be.
Re: NWR QOTD: Reverse Prejudice and Social Acceptance
I do think the word skinny has a negative connotation most of the time...I try to use the word thin...
but I think you could get away with a comment immediately after theirs...otherwise...I would let it go...people make insensitive comments all the time...and I think maybe that they don't realize it...I just asked a friend's new girlfriend how old she was...and then I was horrified by myself afterwards...
mishandgerard
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Re: NWR QOTD: Reverse Prejudice and Social Acceptance
As I become more aware of particular situations (I am on the other end, pleasently plump!). I do believe there is prejudice for very thin and thin people as much as for heacy people. We get the look of disgust of how fat and digusting we are, whil you get the look of 'Oh she must be anorexic!'
I think pleasently plump people of the world and the thin people should get together and revolt against those who are like this.
I have finally came to the point in my life where if someone makes a comment I actually sauy something back. For years I could not get the gusto and just took it. It's not like I don't know I am over weight, I have a difficult time losing and keeping the weight off.
I am sorry you had to deal with such a mean person. You are right though. The people who make these comments usually have no or little self esteem and confidence themselves and need to make such comments to make themselves feel good.
Try to have a better day tomorrow!
jennbaby
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Re: NWR QOTD: Reverse Prejudice and Social Acceptance
Mish well said!
I always say something too now, and I also, never used to, and I am sure to hurt someone on my return remark, WAY more than they hurt me!
Maybe next time they will think twice?
mishandgerard
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Re: NWR QOTD: Reverse Prejudice and Social Acceptance
thanks jennbaby!
jennbaby
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Re: NWR QOTD: Reverse Prejudice and Social Acceptance
Oh and Mish by the way, I think you carry yourself VERY well, and look great, in my honest opinion.
jessnjoey
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Re: NWR QOTD: Reverse Prejudice and Social Acceptance
I just think people need to think before they speak.
natasha
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Re: NWR QOTD: Reverse Prejudice and Social Acceptance
I grew up being very thin and everyone commented on that. I couldn't wait to gain my freshman ten in college. It never happend. After I turned 25, I developed some curves and have put on some weight. I have put on little too much if you ask me. But to all the people who used make comments, that weight was more pleasing to them However, I was miserable.
ThreeTwenty
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Re: NWR QOTD: Reverse Prejudice and Social Acceptance
I don't mind being called skinny but I hate when someone says 'Do you eat? are you anorexic??' I don't know why I have to justify the fact that I eat! In fact, my FH says I eat like a 400 pound man! I just goto the gym so it doesn't look like I eat like a 400 pound man! I have found myself on too many occasions reciting my daily and weekly food intake and it's really no one's business! And I am far from skin and bones!!
