Hello Ladies! I very rarely post things and not ever something like this but I have got to vent...I have a 7 year old daughter from a previous marriage that lives with me.She is very hyper and has a bit of an attitude but thats because she is a girl who isn't scared of anything. Unfortunately I live downstairs from FMIL and FFIL while I am in the process of looking for a house. I say unfortunately because they are always in my business and always think they are allowed to do and say things that only they can do. Here is my situation. I am up this morning getting ready for work and overhear my FMIL say to FFIL that my daughter is crazy and my FFIL says yeah just like her mother. Lots of other stuff was said but this is what mainly got me upset. So now I am crying and FH wakes up and asks me why and I don't want to tell him because I don't want it to be a fight. Well anyway i did. He after I left for work said something to them and his mother had the nerve to tell him I was making it up and she never said that. I know what I heard!!! Well I called her on the phone to ask her if we can sit and talk about this and she said 'I am sick of you starting F**ken trouble in my house'. Now mind you if I EVER spoke a single word about her kids she would have my throat. So then she hung up on me. So the rest of my day goes by and I posted on my Facebook account something that her daughter went back and told her. I wrote that I don't care anymore what happens, I am not the liar and I know what I heard. So she now calls me up and pretty much curses me out. So I hang up on her. Well now this is causing a little bit of a problem between FH and me.His mother is trying to have him convinced that I made it all up. FMIL and I have never had a problem till now. My engagement party is next month and I am about to cancel because of this situation. I don't want her or any of her family there. I am so upset I have been crying all day and I am not a crier. I absolutely refuse to talk to someone who talks about my daughter and then denies it. She said to FH that she should be able to say whatever she wants about her 'grandchildren'. Now all of a sudden she wants to act like she treats my daughter like the rest of her grandchildren. So now that I vented am I wrong? What would u girls do about the engagement party? Thanks
FallBride2010
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Re: NWR ..Really long..very upset
I understand how you are feeling. I would say, just continue with the party and dont let it bother you. I know that is much easier said than done...but dont let anyone ruin your wedding. I've had people try to ruin my excitement...and have let them get to me...and if I could follow my own advice...it would be much less heart ache. Is FH on your side? That's the most important thing. As long as he is...just have your party and enjoy every minute of it!
my3girlsafh
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Re: NWR ..Really long..very upset
he is on my side somewhat but kind of torn between his mom and me. He is a momma's boy. I try to explain to him that I would never want to ruin his relationship with her but I am his future wife and I am now his life and she needs to stay out. It all *****. I want my party but much rather not have fake people there pretending to be nice when I know they probably just want to curse me out.
FallBride2010
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Re: NWR ..Really long..very upset
If you cancel...they win. Dont let them take this away from you. Ignore them...and enjoy the people that are happy for you.
KPetekie
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Re: NWR ..Really long..very upset
Fh should back you 100% and thats the real problem. Not whether or not you have the engagement party. This will continue forever if he doesn't back you now. Hold your ground.
gina409
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Re: NWR ..Really long..very upset
im sorry u r going through this...first off as a adult woman who is a mother she should totally not beinsulting a child..imo she sounds a bit childish herself..if u said it own up to it...i think fh should 100 percent bacjk u up and if it was me i would go on with my plans and not give her the satisfaction of letting her see me as upset as i am...maybe after the e party u guys can have a talk and try to straighten things out but dont cancel the party on her account...i hope this helps and feel better
NYMETBRIDE
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Re: NWR ..Really long..very upset
I would do whatever I could to get out of that house as soon as I could! Unfortunately, she can always hold that over your head! FH and I are still living with our parents to save money, but if there is going to be that much friction do what ever you can to get out! Maybe put the engagement party money towards that? GOOD LUCK!!
dutchessev
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Re: NWR ..Really long..very upset
I agree you need to continue on with the party and ignore her and her family. Be courteous but don't put yourself out there.
I would also try to move out asap. You are not doing your self a favor by being there. Even if you are saving money it is not worth the agravation and can affect the relationship with fh.
LiBride23
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Re: NWR ..Really long..very upset
I do agree with the other ladies.. I would continue the party.. I am in a similar situation but it is with my blood brother and his 'Thing' Sorry i do not like her.. lol..
But seriously.. Try to find a place..
Also only you know your baby girl... And That is not her grandmother. And if she wants to say something about your child she can go some where with that. This is your wedding Your day Your future with ur FH.. I have notice alot of FMIL's do not really always like The brides to be. Because they feel as if we are taking them away.. She might feel like that, Just give her time.. And with the situation I would just call her and ask her not to say anything about your child. Just let her know you heard the entire Convo and it is rude and disrespectful. and live it like that.. Because Your FIL will always be there.. And in a way that will make or break ur marriage. Your FH needs to be behind you 100%. Just Relax.... You got us...
JoAnnJuneBride
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Re: NWR ..Really long..very upset
as someone who has had her share of FMIL issues (mine scared away all the girlfriend's prior to me...lol) my best tool against the creature was to use my cell phone recorder and pocket recorder. Then show her what proof you have and she will likely choose to leave you alone or risk losing her son.
hense I have been planning the wedding of my dreams stress free!!...lol.... Dries your eyes honey if he is on your side it's worth fighting for him!! Don't let them win!!
jenturch
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Re: NWR ..Really long..very upset
Don't cancel your party. Why do you care what she thinks-if she is such a negative person then you shouldnt worry about what she says. Don't let her win by getting to you. You are the better person. Have your celebration and pretend she isn't even there. It's all about you-not her!
kbond06
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Re: NWR ..Really long..very upset
I think you have a right to be upset...and it sounds like she was VERY defensive after you asked her about it (mentioning she's sick of you starting fights in HER house) ...which probably means she did say it and is turning it around on you...the only thing, is you probably shouldn't have wrote on facebook about it--i know it's hard to bite your tongue sometimes especially with family and future family..but it won't get resolved that way- I hope she'll be able to talk with you maturely without turning it around on you ....family stuff stinks, sorry this is happening to you
