i don't know if anyone remembers, but a few days ago i posted that FH and i looked at our first open house and i was all excited about starting the process of buying a home.
i called my brother last night to tell him the happy news, and my SIL picked up the phone. i started to tell her that we were looking at houses and her response was (and she literally LAUGHED as she said it): 'how are YOU going to buy a house?'
it really hurt my feelings. she started telling me that i have no idea what expenses go along w buying a house. she listed all the things i should be thinking about, and they were all things i ALREADY KNOW. then my brother got on the phone, and asked me how much money me and FH make, what bills we have, what we pay for rent now...it seemed so rude to me and i couldn't believe that they were implying that we can't afford to buy a house!! why would i be thinking about buying a house unless i was sure we could do it? i'm not a kid anymore, like he seems to think i am!! i have a really good job, and i actually get PAID to do it!!
i am just so upset today. he made me second-guess the whole thing and i'm really annoyed.
sorry for the vent. i just feel like everyone still thinks of me as a kid who is playing house. it makes me so sad.
FancyMe1018
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Re: nwr: so upset
I know how it feels this is my first time moving out and I want to get an appt first and my Father is like you can't afford it ... it takes time I am going for something comfy for the time being. You will get it you will make it work if you really want it don't listen to them
Espo22
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Re: nwr: so upset
dont feel bad, no matter your age people will question whether you have enough now to get it...I will admit its not easy and can cost money...I was surprised when i went all the charges you get, closing fee's, lawyer fees. But alot of young couples actually get very good deals and dont have to put that much down so its not that bad.
If you know how much you have to put down, and already spoke to a mortgage broker and talked about getting pre-approved then you don't have to worry
Mizzdimple
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Re: nwr: so upset
Sounds like someone is jealous....
Dont let her bother you....I know it hurt your feelings..but people HATE
dream426
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Re: nwr: so upset
Posted by Espo22
dont feel bad, no matter your age people will question whether you have enough now to get it...I will admit its not easy and can cost money...I was surprised when i went all the charges you get, closing fee's, lawyer fees. But alot of young couples actually get very good deals and dont have to put that much down so its not that bad.
If you know how much you have to put down, and already spoke to a mortgage broker and talked about getting pre-approved then you don't have to worry
I agree. Everyone will be in the same boat when they are ready to buy a house. It is scary but I believe it may be hard at first you can't expect it to be easy. Don't worry you know you financial situation and I don't think if you couldn't afford to buy a house you wouldn't. I hate second guessing myself that is why sometimes I don't say anything to certain people..lol I always go to my mom for advice because I trust her so much. I know she would point me in the right direction.
Tigerlilie10308
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Re: nwr: so upset
im sorry...people can be so rude sometimes.....do they own a house? maybe they are just jealous...or maybe if they do own a house they are stressed out and just dont want to see you have the same problems they do
SeaMaiden
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Re: nwr: so upset
I agree that they sound jealous. i dont know how old your brother is, if they have a house or how old they were when they could afford to get one but i could see how the green-eyed monster may come out of that. i am lucky in that i will be one of the younger persons in my family able to get married and make a good salary earlier in life and for years certain family members have expressed negativity at my progressive successes....if you have a decent nest egg to start out with and can afford to buy a home DO NOT let anyone discourage you-it's sooo much better than wasting away $$ on rent. Even buying a really small starter home is better than throwing away rent $$ each month. GO FOR IT!
Julybride08
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Re: nwr: so upset
We started to look also. And we got the same thing from people. No one know how much you have saved or can afford. Those people are the ones who are jealous!!! Just ignore them. There are alot of expenses. and some people don't know, they think they just buy the house and thats it. But I am sure you guys did all your research. Make sure you go get your pre approval letter too. The real estate agent will wanna see that if you want to make an offer. good luck!!!
BubbasBride
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Re: nwr: so upset
don't worry. some people love to make negative comments to feel better about themselves. go ahead and buy whatever house you want. that will shut everybody up.
Good luck!!
JeanetteandSteve
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Re: nwr: so upset
seriously, i feel better just from your responses. thanks so much. i really have researched what goes into it, and i'm not just going to rush in.
a few of you made good points about them possibly having financial strain (b/c yes the do own a house and she doesnt work so i'm sure it's hard for them) so now that i thought about where they are coming from, they are probably concerned. it was just hurtful the way she said it and the way i felt like he was interrogating me.
i am so glad i'm on this site, you guys always make me feel so much better when i'm upset.
thanks!!!!!!!!
Espo22
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Re: nwr: so upset
Posted by jeanette0402
seriously, i feel better just from your responses. thanks so much. i really have researched what goes into it, and i'm not just going to rush in.
a few of you made good points about them possibly having financial strain (b/c yes the do own a house and she doesnt work so i'm sure it's hard for them) so now that i thought about where they are coming from, they are probably concerned. it was just hurtful the way she said it and the way i felt like he was interrogating me.
i am so glad i'm on this site, you guys always make me feel so much better when i'm upset.
thanks!!!!!!!!
dont feel bad and dont try to think your brother was being mean to you...Sometimes when people are concerned their reaction doesn't come out like that, its more of a putdown. Im sure he is just concerned and looking out for your best interest
TheFutureMrsM
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Re: nwr: so upset
That was not nice that they said that to you. Its none of their business. Congrats on starting to look at houses, its the best feeling in the world when you own your own home. Its a very stressful process but its worth it in every way.
There will be ups and downs, but you will find the right house for you!
katleigh3
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Re: nwr: so upset
That is ridiculous!!!!! What is their number? I have a few choice words for them.
Seriously, you know what you can afford! Bottom line! ...and to be honest, when you start figuring out what you can afford it is actually more than that. It looks worse on paper. I remember figuring out we'd have like 2 cents to our name each month left over when we were buying our house. Not true! It works out. You are both young...you have so much potential to excel in your careers too!
Let them laugh all they want, you'll show them when you invite them to your house warming party.
ant n tilde
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Re: nwr: so upset
aww i am sure he meant well but i am sorry that they were so harsh! my brother is like that too, he doesnt think before he speaks and he is always ready for advice for his 'baby sister'
i bet they just realize how hard it is to own a home - unfortunately many people purchase a home without realizing that there are so many expenses - it sounds silly but i know someone going through this right now. . .so he probably just wants you to be careful!
Fh and I figured out we could own a home ONLY if we stopped our lives and put every penny into a home - we didnt want to start our married lives being miserable so we decided to wait a year or two BUT some people can sacrifice like that
good luck fulfilling your dreams - dont get discouraged!
im sorry you are feeling down. but dont let it bother you. it really is none of their buisness how much you make and what your bills come to. its your life you live it whatever way you guys want. its your future not theirs. so dont worry you guys do what you want. life is gonna be good to you!
failurebydsign
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Re: nwr: so upset
its fine..i hate my FSIL..
ourday08
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Re: nwr: so upset
Don't you just hate people who try to steal your joy!
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: nwr: so upset
aw im so sorry..jealousy! thats what it sounds like to me! don't let other people get the best of you!
mnucci
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Re: nwr: so upset
Don't let others get you down -- I am going through the same thing. My family is super supportive, but the people I work with keep telling 'get ready to be sick for the rest of your life paying the mortgage' . FYI -- we are going to contract prolly tues or weds. next week. Do what you think you can do and what you want to do and what you think you can afford and F*** eveyrone else because they are just jealous!
michellecarin
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Re: nwr: so upset
There are many things we all have to learn for ourselves. You are getting married and starting to look at houses which is completely normal. If I could I would also look into buying something. Rent stinks its like throwing money away. Not many of us are people who don't think things out. For goodness sakes look at us with weddings Still there will always be people in our lives that try to make decisions for us. Inorder to grow up and learn to make good decision we need to think for ourselves. Many times other peoople just are afraid of us getting hurt. Sometimes you need to scrape your knee in the process
good luck
I hope this wasn't too much jumble, ireally was trying to go somewhere
