NWR: What is your opinion on this?

SIBride06 Posted: Sep 21, 2005 10:30 AM

NWR: What is your opinion on this?

A girl at work here lives paycheck to paycheck. Shes single.. loves to spend money and always complains about not having money. I tried to convince her to slow down her spending habits and try to put some money away each paycheck so she dont have to struggle-even if its $10 a WEEK! Anyways.. she goes off on me saying that she dont believe in saving.. shes single and she dont have to pay for a wedding like I do.. so I shouldnt give that type of advice. She feels like she is young and she should enjoy her life and that saving is just not her thing.
it bothers me because shes always complaining that she never has money, yet she spends $12 on lunch everyday... a few days before payday, she has absolutely NO cash whatsoever!
I tried to give her advice, but she just feels that because I have 'something to save for' I cant possible understand what its like to just live by the day. I learned my lesson about not saving.. I dont want to sound like my mom, but seriously... had I known then what I do now.. I'd have a HUUUUGGGEEEE bank account right about now and wouldnt have to save money for 2 1/2 years just to get married!!
Oh well.. she dont want my advice. I guess I cant help people that dont want to be helped.

jilmadison Posted: Sep 21, 2005 10:33 AM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

Well, sometimes people are sensitive when some one tells them what to do with their money. Sounds like she is very defensive. I would just drop it, and ignore her when she tells you she is broke, you tried to help. (and she probably knows you are right)

itslaurie. Posted: Sep 21, 2005 10:34 AM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

I think your last two sentences perfectly sum up this issue. Unsolicited advice is almost never received well.

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Sep 21, 2005 10:35 AM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

Unfortunately, for all of your good intentions, it's best to ignore the 'I have no money' whining. If she doesn't understand that she needs to save for retirement and have a cash reserve for emergencies - she's beyond help.

It was nice of you to try to give advice though.

SIBride06 Posted: Sep 21, 2005 10:36 AM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

Thing is.. She always asks what she should do.. like if she should find a higher paying job, or to just suck it up, so she DOES ask for advice. I guess Im just not giving her the advice she wants to hear.

cindyandkevin Posted: Sep 21, 2005 10:39 AM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

It was nice of you to try to help her. I've always been a saver, I could never live like that, day to day. But I'd flat out tell her that if she doesn't want to listen to your advice then you don't want to listen to her whinning like a baby!!!

You didn't do anything wrong, Janie! She'll just have to learn the hard way, meanwhile tell her you don't want to hear it if that's the lifestyle she's chosen to follow.

Beth1210 Posted: Sep 21, 2005 10:40 AM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

there is a grown women with a 12 year old and husband at my job - who complains of the SAME THING

no savings- can you believe it

I don't have a ton of money- I love to shop- but I still manage to save alittle

mtdr1106 Posted: Sep 21, 2005 10:44 AM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

then tell her to shut up and stop complaining!!!

explain to her that you really don't care about her finances - you were just trying to drown out the noise.......

some people are waaayyyy too sensitive.....and make absolutely no sense.

you were trying to do a nice thing by offer a helpful suggestion.

some people...

itslaurie. Posted: Sep 21, 2005 11:00 AM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

you might also try completely changing the subject when she starts going on her complaining about money trips. She should start to get the hint.

Blu-ize Posted: Sep 21, 2005 11:10 AM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

I think you should tell her to marry someone rich.

kaklesmay Posted: Sep 21, 2005 11:19 AM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

Dont waste your breath on this girl She obviously just likes to whine if she's asking for help but not willing to take it.

People at my job whine like that all the time in fron tof my boss so he will feel bad and give them a raise.

Truth is, even if she did get a higher paying job she would still be broke!

SuzBride Posted: Sep 21, 2005 11:21 AM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

I agree with you. Even before FH and I were engaged, I was saving like crazy for a house (and hoping for a wedding ). Even if you don't have something in particular to save for, it is definitely a good idea to save just in case (like what if she got fired - she would be in so much trouble with no safety net!)

I agree with you!

CC59 Posted: Sep 21, 2005 04:07 PM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

Money is something that people are always so funny about! Maybe she can't decide if she's ready to start planning and saving money or if she still wants to live in the 'now' and spend, spend, spend!

EmberLynn Posted: Sep 21, 2005 04:42 PM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

My fh best man gave me a lecture about saving money the only problem is, I make just enough to pay my bills and surrive. He on the other hands makes a six figure income. I agree $12 is a bit steep and she could properly eat cheaper, however, that might be the only luxiery she gives herself. If she is barely making it, then shes might just want at least a good lunch. granted yes she should try to hold on to her pennys, but its hard giving up everything.

Goldi1021 Posted: Sep 21, 2005 04:55 PM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

Funny this should come up. FH and I had the big money discussion the other day just soon after we moved in together. I was one of those check to check people. I accrued thousands in credit card debt and had to get a second job to clear it. I have a trail of bad credit but at least I have one less thing over my head as we start a new life. FH made it very clear to me that every extra penny we had CANNOT ALL GO TO THE WEDDING. Well, he was right. what happens if one of us loses our jobs or if after the wedding I need to go on maternity leave. MAJOR reality check. We need a cushion. Something for all ladies to keep in mind.

I think you gave good advice and it was NOT unsolicited. She asked for it. Its like asking for diet advice, not taking it and wondering why you gained ten pounds.

mbm750 Posted: Sep 21, 2005 10:11 PM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

You know there are some people who simply cannot learn something good and useful, like the value of having a few bucks in the bank, until something bad happens to them and they learn their lesson the hard way. One day, she will learn too - maybe not until it's time to retire and she has nothing but her paltry social security check, but one day it'll come. And, I don't mean to sound vengeful - I'm really not, but she is being stupid and she's is going to pay the price one day whether it be after an accident, a job loss, retirement, whatever. If I were you, I would just tell her to stop complaining next time because she obviously isn't willing to improve her situation and I don't have the patience to listen to her constant complaining.

tracie143 Posted: Sep 21, 2005 11:34 PM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

I WAS THE SAME WAY... I HAD AMAZING JOBS MAKE GREAT MONEY AND LIVED PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK LIVED AT HOME WITH MY MOM AND DAD AND PAID FOR NOTHING BUT HAD THE BEST GUCCI BAGS, SHOES, CHANNEL FROM HEAD TO TOE AND AT THE END OF THE DAY HAD NOTHING TO SHOW FOR ALL THE HARD WORK I HAVE DONE IN MY LIFE.

MY CHANGING POINT WAS WHEN I MEET MY FH .... WE GOT SERIOUS SO FAST AND THAT IS WHEN I KNEW I HAD TO START SAVING... CAUSE I WANTED A BETTER LIFE..I STILL HAVE MY BAGS BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY I RATHER HAVE MY HOUSE AND WEDDING

SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO LEARN THE HARD WAY... SHE WILL WAKE UP BELIEVE ME I AM LIVING PROOF....

mariela2006 Posted: Sep 21, 2005 11:44 PM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

OMG that was so rude. thats what you get for being nice. I guess she will learn the hard way like the rest of us.

gNi1125 Posted: Sep 21, 2005 11:53 PM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

You were only trying to help her. If she doesn't want it she shouldn't ask for it or complain.

Pookiesangel Posted: Sep 22, 2005 12:16 AM

Re: NWR: What is your opinion on this?

Some people don't like advice when it hits too close to home, I too wasted alot of money in my 20's and now I feel like an a$$ when I think of it, everyone learns the money/saving lesson at some point, when she is ready she will realize the importance of your advice