NWR-why am i having so many issues?
Jeeze; if it's not one thing than it's something else.
Can i get your opinions on NOT going to a destination wedding?
Here's some background-FH best best friend had a DW two years ago. We also closed on our house exactly 1 month before their wedding. BUT luckily; we had planned this trip almost a year prior and it was paid off; so it was perfect timing to get this trip right after all the stress of buying the house and got to celebrate her wedding with her.
A year ago a friend of mine also got engaged to her long time boyfriend. She started talking about having a DW and I told her i would see if i could swing the cost. But the place she chose what just too expensive and FH said he didn't really want to pay that much to go and even if we went for the minimum of 3 days we'd still be paying $1K EACH. We were just moving in and dealing w/remodeling and getting used to the mortgage and all the other bills were really hitting us hard. I even looked into just going by myself but that was even going to be about $700 and to be honest our $$ was very tight so we weren't planning any trips and i didn't want to pay that much and not even get a vacation with FH that year plus we had become engaged that year and were starting to plan our own wedding and thinking of ways to save $$
So anyway; i told her that i wouldn't be able to make it; she kept planning; but after a few months she found out her fh wasn't being 100% faithful and they broke up; she kicked him out called everything off. This went on for almost 4 months. In that time FH & I got better $$ wise and looked into doing a small trip just to get away from all the stress. We found a CHEAP cruise that was only $400 each! for 7 nights!! So we booked it. We got airfare and were planning to stay in the city near the port where i have family for 3 nights (w/family=free). It was turning out to be a great vacation @ very low costs. BUT my friend reconciled w/her finance and the wedding was back on. But the dates were the SAME time as when i had planned my trip (i honestly didn't realize this @ first; but in my defense their wedding was called off anyway).
So i felt VERY guilty and never told her i was going away; but just that i still couldn't swing paying for the trip to her wedding at the last minute (it was like 4-5 months out) especially since now airfare had gone up and it was $500 just to fly there.
To make a long story short-she found out that i was away while they were gone; and has barely talked to me since then (it's been 5 months). I used to think we were such good friends. FH tells me he always thought my friendship w/her was very 1-sided. I've always gone to ALL events she thrown; always gone to her kids parties; got them gifts; helped w/her showers; but she has never ever come through for me once. The only time she's been to the house i bought was when she asked if another person that had her son could drop him off at my house and then she'd come pick him up from there. She didn't even come to my engagement party because she thought it was just for grown ups! Hello-ask can kids come? Anyway; after she was a no-show to my e-party i lost some guilt about not being able to afford to go to her wedding.
Now 5 months later we barely talk and it hurts that our friendship is ruined. I sometimes think well i should have just figured out a way to come up with the $1K to go by myself and sacrifice a great trip i had with FH so that she would have been happy. BUT that's not fair to me. Now planning my wedding i see the importance of having people there that i love; but if i was going away and asking people to pay $1K+ to come; i'd understand if they couldn't make it and i wouldn't hold it against them if they decided to go on other cheaper trips throughout the year.
I just don't know what to do-i hate to see a friendship no matter how one-sided or whatever end after all these years (guess i just don't like having people be mad at me). But i can't in FH works kiss a s s to make it up to her that i wasn't there.
Can i get your opinions on NOT going to a destination wedding?
Here's some background-FH best best friend had a DW two years ago. We also closed on our house exactly 1 month before their wedding. BUT luckily; we had planned this trip almost a year prior and it was paid off; so it was perfect timing to get this trip right after all the stress of buying the house and got to celebrate her wedding with her.
A year ago a friend of mine also got engaged to her long time boyfriend. She started talking about having a DW and I told her i would see if i could swing the cost. But the place she chose what just too expensive and FH said he didn't really want to pay that much to go and even if we went for the minimum of 3 days we'd still be paying $1K EACH. We were just moving in and dealing w/remodeling and getting used to the mortgage and all the other bills were really hitting us hard. I even looked into just going by myself but that was even going to be about $700 and to be honest our $$ was very tight so we weren't planning any trips and i didn't want to pay that much and not even get a vacation with FH that year plus we had become engaged that year and were starting to plan our own wedding and thinking of ways to save $$
So anyway; i told her that i wouldn't be able to make it; she kept planning; but after a few months she found out her fh wasn't being 100% faithful and they broke up; she kicked him out called everything off. This went on for almost 4 months. In that time FH & I got better $$ wise and looked into doing a small trip just to get away from all the stress. We found a CHEAP cruise that was only $400 each! for 7 nights!! So we booked it. We got airfare and were planning to stay in the city near the port where i have family for 3 nights (w/family=free). It was turning out to be a great vacation @ very low costs. BUT my friend reconciled w/her finance and the wedding was back on. But the dates were the SAME time as when i had planned my trip (i honestly didn't realize this @ first; but in my defense their wedding was called off anyway).
So i felt VERY guilty and never told her i was going away; but just that i still couldn't swing paying for the trip to her wedding at the last minute (it was like 4-5 months out) especially since now airfare had gone up and it was $500 just to fly there.
To make a long story short-she found out that i was away while they were gone; and has barely talked to me since then (it's been 5 months). I used to think we were such good friends. FH tells me he always thought my friendship w/her was very 1-sided. I've always gone to ALL events she thrown; always gone to her kids parties; got them gifts; helped w/her showers; but she has never ever come through for me once. The only time she's been to the house i bought was when she asked if another person that had her son could drop him off at my house and then she'd come pick him up from there. She didn't even come to my engagement party because she thought it was just for grown ups! Hello-ask can kids come? Anyway; after she was a no-show to my e-party i lost some guilt about not being able to afford to go to her wedding.
Now 5 months later we barely talk and it hurts that our friendship is ruined. I sometimes think well i should have just figured out a way to come up with the $1K to go by myself and sacrifice a great trip i had with FH so that she would have been happy. BUT that's not fair to me. Now planning my wedding i see the importance of having people there that i love; but if i was going away and asking people to pay $1K+ to come; i'd understand if they couldn't make it and i wouldn't hold it against them if they decided to go on other cheaper trips throughout the year.
I just don't know what to do-i hate to see a friendship no matter how one-sided or whatever end after all these years (guess i just don't like having people be mad at me). But i can't in FH works kiss a s s to make it up to her that i wasn't there.
