NWR:MY DEAREST SAM CHAMPION

DEAR
MY DARLING SAM,
I WATCH YOU EVERY MORNING ON 'GOOD MORNING AMERICA.' YOUR 'SUPER WHITE TEETH' ARE A TURN ON. ANYWAY, GETTING BACK TO MY THOUGHTS, YOU ARE NO LONGER GOING TO BE MY PRETEND BOYFRIEND (NOT B/C OF THE OBVIOUS) BECAUSE YOU HAVE PISSED ME OFF. THIS PAST WEEK YOU HAVE BEEN PSYCHING ME UP FOR THE 'MAJOR NOR'EASTER' WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE. YOU HAVE NOW CHANGED YOUR FORECAST. NOW, YOU ARE SAYING THAT IT WILL ONLY BE SLEET, RAIN, MAYBE SOME ICE BUT LITTLE OR NO SNOW. YOU ARE PLAYING WITH MY EMOTIONS, SAM! I WAS ALL EXITED ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF HAVING A SNOW DAY. YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY CRUSHED MY DREAM. DID YOU AND ALL THE METEROLOGISTS, GET TOGETHER FOR SOME KIND OF CONSPIRACY? ARE YOU TRYING TO P*SS OFF THE AMERICAN PUBLIC? SO NOW, THAT THERE IS NOR'EASTER AND I AM GOING TO HAVE TO GO TO WORK, I WANT TO TELL YOU IT IS OVER. YOU CAN TAKE YOUR WEATHER REPORTS AND SHOVE IT!
WITH LOVE,
WEDNI