So fh decided to mention to me last night that FMIL may have a health condition. She went to the doctors and for now they just need her to come back in 6 months. I was kind of offended that he just well never told me. Now me and FMIL are not close at all..the only time I see her is when I go over FH's house which is rare since he stays over my place a few times a week or we spend time in my area. There was also drama that happened a while back where I was pissed off at FMIL and FH of course knows about it. It's over and done with though. I asked him why he didn't tell me and he said bc he doens't think I like her, which of course I had to reassure him I do. I tell him everything yet he just didn't share this with me. Thoughts?
grkbarbie
Posted:
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Re: NWR..Should I be offended at FH by this?
iw ould be upset,too. you are getting married. its time he realizes youre ALL going to be FAMILY now.
tell him how u feel.. in a nice way..so he doesnt get defensive
mariedsgn
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR..Should I be offended at FH by this?
Posted by grkbarbie
iw ould be upset,too. you are getting married. its time he realizes youre ALL going to be FAMILY now.
tell him how u feel.. in a nice way..so he doesnt get defensive
ITA! - You have to tell him how you are feeling!
2010 Fall Bride
Posted:
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Re: NWR..Should I be offended at FH by this?
I would be a bit bothered! Regardless of you liking her or not, if something is going on (that is serious like her healthy) he should definitely share that with you!
JMO
christine2010
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Re: NWR..Should I be offended at FH by this?
i had to deal with a similar situation a couple of years ago when FHs dad was in the hospital. all FH would tell me is that he is sick & not doing well. i had to call FMIL myself to find out the details of how sick he was. (he ended up passing away a month later)
when i approached FH asking him why he didn't tell me, he said it was because he was having a hard time dealing with it & he knew i would have been all emotional about it. i was annoyed with him because i wanted to be there for him but now (3 years later) i understand. from experience i learned that seeing a parent sick when you are young is very hard. in our situation FH knew his dad was going to pass away & it has taken him 3 years to really except it. this year has been the hardest so far.
i think that know that he has mentioned it to you, you should just support him & her. don't be offended by it.
FutureMrsSoltan
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Re: NWR..Should I be offended at FH by this?
I would be upset ..... he needs to realize that you are going to be family and you have to share things like this with each other !
kris_gets_hitched
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR..Should I be offended at FH by this?
I don't think you should be offended. People cope with things in different ways; maybe he was afraid that he'd get extremely emotional if he spoke about it. Maybe he didn't want to say anything until the initial rounds of test results were found out, because maybe he didn't know many details prior to getting the results and wasn't ready for questions that you'd have about it.
Just let him know that you're there for him 10000000% and offer your help with anything he might need help with, or if she needs help with things around the house/going to appointments and such...
Future Mrs H
Posted:
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Re: NWR..Should I be offended at FH by this?
I would be upset. Its not like you are just casually dating. You are getting married! My FMIL is very ill and FH tells me everything that goes on with her (from dr. appts, to her eating, her breathing, everything) Just like I tell him when something is going on with my parents. We are going to be Husband and Wife and I feel that is just the way it should be.
AdriandSteve
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Member since
Re: NWR..Should I be offended at FH by this?
Posted by kris_gets_hitched
I don't think you should be offended. People cope with things in different ways; maybe he was afraid that he'd get extremely emotional if he spoke about it. Maybe he didn't want to say anything until the initial rounds of test results were found out, because maybe he didn't know many details prior to getting the results and wasn't ready for questions that you'd have about it.
Just let him know that you're there for him 10000000% and offer your help with anything he might need help with, or if she needs help with things around the house/going to appointments and such...
I agree
little j
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR..Should I be offended at FH by this?
Posted by kris_gets_hitched
I don't think you should be offended. People cope with things in different ways; maybe he was afraid that he'd get extremely emotional if he spoke about it. Maybe he didn't want to say anything until the initial rounds of test results were found out, because maybe he didn't know many details prior to getting the results and wasn't ready for questions that you'd have about it.
Just let him know that you're there for him 10000000% and offer your help with anything he might need help with, or if she needs help with things around the house/going to appointments and such...
ITA!! I would just let him know how you feel and you want to be clued-in from now on..and you do care...and you are here to help
he probably has enough on his mind between the wedding, his mom being sick, and maybe feeling like you dont like his mom...that is hard enough...so i would not act overly offended and make him more upset...just try your best to be there for him and his family.
stinenandy2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR..Should I be offended at FH by this?
I wouldn't be upset since you don't have a close relationship with her. Plus, it doesn't seem like there is anything seriously wrong right now, just something the doctors need to keep an eye on. He probably just thought you didn't want to know or didn't think it was a big deal.
jussie82
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR..Should I be offended at FH by this?
Posted by kris_gets_hitched
I don't think you should be offended. People cope with things in different ways; maybe he was afraid that he'd get extremely emotional if he spoke about it. Maybe he didn't want to say anything until the initial rounds of test results were found out, because maybe he didn't know many details prior to getting the results and wasn't ready for questions that you'd have about it.
Just let him know that you're there for him 10000000% and offer your help with anything he might need help with, or if she needs help with things around the house/going to appointments and such...
ITA! Speaking from experience, even if you absolutely love and trust someone when you are going through something this serious sometimes it is easier to internalize it and sht down then talk about it..if and when he is ready to discuss it with you he will...i would not push it.
Iluvpoodles
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Re: NWR..Should I be offended at FH by this?
I guess you girls are right. It could have been something major though.
MrsCM
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR..Should I be offended at FH by this?
I wouldn't be upset. Sometimes you have to respect someone's privacy and maybe she didn't want anyone to know. Once you're family sometimes people open up more.
CristinanBen2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR..Should I be offended at FH by this?
I would be offended. Your going to marry fh and should know whats going on regardless of the past and your relationship. I feel that you should have every right to know whats going on
MrsC2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: NWR..Should I be offended at FH by this?
i would be upset bc as a couple that is about to be married you should be able to tell each other everything. I would just let him know that you hope in the future he can share these things with you.
