NYPD wives/fiancees??

NYPD wives/fiancees??

My FH is in his first year, suffice to say he works 5:30pm to 1:30am. Our schedules completely overlap. But everytime I go out of my way to make sure we have time together (we dont live together), he comes to my apt and he falls asleep. FOR HOURS!! I honestly cant take it. I feel like Im making sacrifices, and he cant keep his eyes open.

Please help me before I strangle him.

Re: NYPD wives/fiancees??

I am not a NYPD wife or fiancee, but FH and I work completely opposite schedules. It was really taking a toll on our relationship. I thought that it would get better when we moved in together, but we were just like ships passing in the night. Finally, I could not take it anymore and we sat down and had a talk. We decided that no matter what we needed to keep one day a week to have date night. It is hard because I get called and asked to work and have a tough time saying no, buut no matter how nice the extra money would be it can't compare to how nice it is to have a whole night to ourselves.

I wish you luck!!!

Re: NYPD wives/fiancees??

I showed my Mom your post (She's a veteran NYPD wife) and she said that for a while she and my dad were working totally different schedules. What she did was make a point at least once a week to spend quality time together doing things they both enjoyed. (She said that was how I came along) I guess I'm a quality time baby

She said hang in there because there will be better days ahead.

Re: NYPD wives/fiancees??

I agree. Its not like this boy doesnt sleep. trust me, I would never ask him to do something after he just worked a night tour. But, now I feel like he is using this job as an excuse to sleep all the time.

Re: NYPD wives/fiancees??

Have you talked to him about how you feel? It's funny how men just have no intuition. As well as FH knows me I still have to spell everything out for him. Sometimes more then once.

Re: NYPD wives/fiancees??

yes, weve discussed this. I think he needs to feel like we are not seeing eachother enough for it to change. He doesnt see his 'napping' as a problem.

Re: NYPD wives/fiancees??

Maybe you should start playing tricks on him while he sleeps. Like sticking his hand in hot water or drawing things on his face.

Re: NYPD wives/fiancees??

My DH was an NYPD officer and left for Port Authority. I can realte to your post cuz my DH used to work midnight when he first got on NYPD. He just couldn't adjust to thouse hours. He would be coming home when most people are kust about to go to work. He was always tired! Hopefully your FH can put in for a change of his tour soon. That's what my DH did and he finally had normal hours but left after 911 for PAPD.

Re: NYPD wives/fiancees??

i think that you really cant help the hours that he works for now. but it will change it wont always be this bad. i think untill that happens you should agree on 1 or 2 days where you have some alone time. just even to cuddle or get dinner. my dh is nypd and i get frustrated when he is around for a lot of the holidays and new years eve is the worst but you will learn to take the good with the bad.

Re: NYPD wives/fiancees??

My FH is NYPD plus he works a part time job. Don't worry it gets better. We always try to set a day aside for ourselves w/o any running around, just time for us. He's only in his 1st year so its rough but it will get better.

Re: NYPD wives/fiancees??

MY FH works for the NYPD since last July and I have become a very different person. This may be long winded because of the fight we just had this morning.

We have lived together for 4 years and it only made us closer. Then he got this job and I am always alone. I got lonely and depressed for a while but now I found things to do, I got my dog, and shopping really helps too.

Heres the thing, as soon as you get used to a tour, then it changes... then you have to get used to something else totally. He is out of the house from 10am-10pm and I work 9am-5pm. He is sleeping when I leave and I am tired by time he comes hime. Plus on his days off, Wed & Thurs there is all wedding stuff to do. I miss him sooo much and I try to talk to him a little in the morning but he is one of those sound sleepers that dont wake up for anything.

Ok I am going to stop because now I am crying again...

dont worry we will be ok. I have faith in our love and that is what keeps a smile on my face 23 hours a day

Re: NYPD wives/fiancees??

DH isa NYPD SGt. He is at work right now and here I am alone....Don't worry we have been married for 4months and things are great. We have been together for 5 years, in the beginning it is hard for him to get used the precint. the hours and juggling everything else in his life. After 911 I saw DH only when he came home for a couple of hours he slept and went back to work. That was the roughest four-five months. I agree that being a police officer's wife can be lonely at times, most of my friends Dh are cops also so we have each other. Fm if you need to talk...

Re: NYPD wives/fiancees??

I am a fiance of and NYCD cop and luckily her was put in a unit almost a year ago which he works 7-330 M-F before that he was working 7-330 with rotating days off... so I usually always got to see him.. he just interviewed for another position in the NYPD and if he gets it will have to move to midnights, which would be a huge change for us since I've been spoiled since we started dating.. My dad is retired from NYPD and I really don't remember him not being there even though he worked a lot of 4-12's you just have to make sure you take advantage of days off and what not.. I am sure that he isn't thrilled with his schedule, but it's only natural to be upset about it... just hang in there!