Officent Help!! *Long

I am having the biggest problem finding officents. I am having an interfaith ceremony outside at the hall.It seems that all of the priests that I find are married. How can they be a priest if they are married?? Also I am told that the marriage is not recognized in the church. I am having problems with my future mother-in-law about this situation. She is really upset that it won`t be recognized within the church. She thinks she can find a priest that isn`t married and that performs ceremonies that are recognized in the church. I have been waiting for 2 weeks now for her to find a priest and Rabbi/cantor. I don`t know how much longer I can wait. I found a Cantor and priest my FI and I met with that work together that I liked, but this priest is married. I feel that if I don`t go with them, I will have a hard time finding someone else, even a priest that isn`t married. I don`t know what to do!! Any suggestions??

Officent Help!! *Long

I can completely help you with this. I take it your FI is of Roman Catholic faith. And you are Jewish - is that right? The Roman Catholic priests will perform a marriage between a Roman Cath. and a Jewish person outside of a church and still recognize it as a sacrament. They will NOT marry two Catholics outside of a church. It's very tricky. If you choose a priest that isn't Roman Cath. , it will not be recognized as a sacrament in your FI's faith which is sort of a big deal. You should look at www.drv.org (i think that is the site) for more info. I have a list of Catholic Priests that I am going with and have decided that the sacrament recognition as important as it is to me, is simply not going to be able to be followed through on. I gave my deposit at my location before I knew ANYTHING about all this! Good luck.

Officent Help!! *Long

There are plenty of 'real'priests. Call the diocese in Rockville Center and ask.

Officent Help!! *Long

Buttafli, I don`t know what church you are talking about. I am catholic. Priets cannot be maried, but deacons can. Deacons and priests have the authority to perform marriages. I am being married by a deacon, so he is married, but he can perform marriages. In the Catholic faith you have to be married by a priest or a deacon in a church for the marriage to be recognized by the church. You also have to marry a Catholic. The Catholic faith does not recognize interfaith marriages. I remember some family members refusing to go to a cousin`s ceremony because he married a Greek Orthodox, so his marriage is not recognized by the church. They were horrified....but everyone went to the reception and I am not sure that my cousin missed them at the ceremony. I can`t tell from your message what church you belong to, but if you are Catholic and you are marrying someone who is Jewish, than your marriage will not be recognized by the Catholic church. But that does not, for some reason, stop you from raising your children Catholic. They can still receive all of the sacraments. Not sure if that matters to you. If you are Catholic and you have any more questions, let me know. My parents are super religious. Dad spent time in a seminary studying to be a priest, Mom spent time in a convent studying to be a nun! Becky

Becky - Get your facts straight

The Diocese of Rockville Center provides 'Interfaith' Precana. They provide priest from the diocese to officiate at the interfaith ceremony. And, they do recognize the wedding. A call to Msgr.Lisante who runs the interfaith division should answer everybody's questions. In fact, Msgr.Lisante will also refer you to a rabbi that he works with. All you need to do is pick up the phone like I did. As for those who know it all because some relative took a few religion classes, don't give others misinformation.

Diocese of Rockville Centre & Interfaith Ceremonies

The website is www.drvc.org I am a Roman Catholic getting married to Jewish man. We are having an interfaith ceremony at our reception hall on a Friday night in July, before sunset. (His family has no problem with this, they are not very religious.) We are having a deacon from my church and a rabbi who is a good family friend of my fiancee perform the ceremony. As long as the catholic officiant receives your vows, the marriage WILL be recognized by the catholic church. If you would like to speak to my deacon, who has performed MANY interfaith ceremonies, please send me an e-mail, and I'll give you his info. My address is [email protected] Best of luck to you.

Recognized...

I am Catholic and am being married inside a Catholic church. Before you go crazy trying to find a Roman Catholic priest (married priests may be catholic but not Roman Catholic), what exactly does 'recognized' mean? You may still worship and participate in the Catholic church no matter who you are married to or by. You may still raise your children Catholic and have them receive sacrament no matter who you are married to or by. You may still receive Last Rights. The difference is simply that the Roman Catholic Church will not 'recognize' (purely a title with no real consequences) a marriage that is not performed by a Roman Catholic Church. Just my 2 cents.

Becky?

Can a deacon marry someone? My FI has a deacon in his family and we both said many times that we would love it if she could perform our ceremony.

Colleen

Deacons can DEFINATELY perform wedding ceremonies. I'm sure your fiancee's family member would be thrilled to be such a big part of your day. Best of luck!

Buttafli1277

I saw your question to me below but thought I'd respond here. My officiants were Father Camp from St. William the Abbot in Seaford and Rabbi Applestone. I've posted before on this so if you do a search I'm sure it will come up. I spoke with about 6 'priests' before I was able to get Fr. Camp. All of them had either left the Church or belonged to a *new* Church (New Catholics). It was so frustrating!!!! Maybe you should ask FMIL to recommend a Priest from her parish... Anyway, your FH needs to obtain dispensation in 2 forms (to marry outside his faith and to marry a non-Catholic). The process is simple and painless. If it's important to your FH (not his mom) then he should do it. You will both need to attend Interfaith Pre-Cana...you already got this advice! If you have any questions,let me know. :)

oops....

That's what I get for responding while I was on the phone!! The 2 forms of dispensation are to marry outside the CHURCH (d'oh) and to marry a non-Catholic! Sorry!

officiants help

I am marrying someone that has been divorced..(did not get an annulment)we are not getting married in the church but the ceremony will be at Flower Fields....who can i get to marry us..can it be a priest of some sort ( i am roman catholic)..i know it will not be recognized in the church...thanks Kristen

Becky?

Well, I am Catholic and a Catholic deacon can marry you. There are different levels to becoming a Catholic priest. One of them is being a deacon. So at one time every priest was a deacon. There are certain sacraments that deacons cannot perform, but they can perform marriage ceremonies. Deacon Joe at St. Margarets in Selden is performing my marriage. This was all news to me until I met with Deacon Joe! They alternate at my church and Deacon JpYou should ask your FI's relative if she can perform your ceremony. That would be wonderful. Like when Joey married Monica and Chandler :) Becky

Colleen - Deacon Answer

A deacon can marry you, however if you are a having a full blown mass with communion, you need a priest to co-officiate, a deacon cannot consecrate the host, only a priest can . Hope that helps

Officent Help!!

ok here are my 2 cents, and please don't be offended by this. even if the pope married you, outside of the church it still wouldn't be recognized by the rc church, if the ceremony is performed anywhere esle than a church it is not recognized because it was not performed on sacred grounds. i went through this with my fi, his and my parents are ok with it so we decided to go with an interfaith minister who is knowledgable on all religions, you can always go back to the church after your ceremony/wedding day and have a simple ceremony performed at a church if that will make your inlaws happy, thats what we are doing anyway. if you want i can give you our ministers telephone#, ask him. hope i helped

StreetWarfare - Respectfully Disagree

I have spoken with 2 different priests, and both told me that the Roman Catholic Church will recognize an interfaith marriage, even if it is performed outside the church. The next preference is to have it at an interfaith chapel, but you can have it at a compeletly neutral, non religious indoor site as well. BTW, they also told me that an interfaith ceremony can not be a full mass, even if performed at a RC church.

Another thing to consider...

I have spoken to more than 6 Roman Catholic priests (in additional to some other Catholic ones). Every single one of them told me a different story/reason/explanation. That is because its not a biblical or even definitive Cannon law - its just how the local Roman Catholic priests want to interpret administrative rules. My guess is that you will get different explanations everywhere you go - so its best to make up your mind based on whats important to you, not the RC church.

Another thing to consider...

Well I looked at the Diocese of Rockville Center website. It stated that if I do ge married outside at the hall, it will not be recognized by the Catholic Church. I really wanted to get married outside. Ooh well, I guess I have to think about this more. My brain is going to explode. Do you guys have the same problem trying to make everyone happy? I feel like I`m the middleman here trying to make his family and mine happy. I mean they are happy we are getting married, I`m just talking about this whole planning bit. I didn`t know it was going to be so difficult.

Buttafli1277

I watched one of my best friends go through something very similar. Her husband`s Italian Catholic family loves her, but they could not contain their horror that he was marrying a Jewish girl who did not want a priest at their ceremony in any way shape or form. It was a battle right up until a few months before the wedding and her husband was pressuring her, too, because he really wanted to make his mom and grandmothers happy. In the end they went with a justice of the peace, everyone eventually stopped talking about it and they have been married for four years now and it has not been mentioned since before the marriage. No one even said anything about a baptism after they had their first child. Don't do anything you are not comfortable with because you can`t please everyone and they will all get over it when the day gets closer and the excitement sets in! Happy planning. Becky

Becky

Thanks Becky! I know what you mean, but I don`t want to cause any problems with his mom. It`s just that she needs to realize that either way the marriage will not be recognized in the church. Now my FI mentions that we can get married inside the hall and it will be recognized, but I don`t think so.Anyway I still want my outdoor ceremony. I was all upset about this whole mess, but I`m not going to waste my time, I`m supposed to be happy. Either way I`m havig an outdoor cermony. I don`t think he`s the one making a big deal about this, more his mom, and of course he has to try and please hs mommy!! Well thanks for letting me vent.