so when we started planning FH and I agree's to 4 bm'ds
well wedding is 7 months away and FH confided in me that he really wants a large wp ... well, I have lived in many places and really don't have that many friends here ... as it is my bm's are coming from CT, CO and NC ...
had a dream last night that I secretly hired more girls to be my bm's ....
so ... **sigh** just have to deal, or ask people that I know can't afford it, I wish I coud just pay everyones way .. BUT GOSH!!
hmmm ... AHHHH!!!
(ETA) repeated to be clear
he has like 10 people he wants .. I have 3 ... his sister even dropped out because she is 'scared:
I just don't have people to even ask . He went to sachem and has ALOT of close friends ... I went to boarding school and lost touch with all my friends ..
I am just REALLY embarrassed and sad to not have enough girls to put in my wedding party
I'm confused? Is it because you don't want an uneven number that you have to ask more girls? Did he ask more guys than you have girls??
bridezilla2b
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
he has like 10 people he wants .. I have 3 ... his sister even dropped out because she is 'scared:
I just don't have people to even ask . He went to sachem and has ALOT of close friends ... I went to boarding school and lost touch with all my friends ..
I am just REALLY embarrassed and sad to not have enough girls to put in my wedding party
TheFutureMrsPM
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
When FH and I started BP talk we decided to each pick who we wanted and figure out the number about pairing people up later on bc it was most importaint to have the people we love by ourside and not to take anyone out bc of numbers.
Maybe FH and You can come to an agreement. Maybe if you have three he can have six? two guys can walk with each girl? Sorry you are having a hard time with this.
Nina1010
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
I have too many BMs...just the opposite of you. I have 7 and FH has 3. We don't even care...yep, its uneven, but we are surrounded by those we want in it. Don't be upset...plenty of people are in the same situation.
bridezilla2b
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
I just feel like a friendless shrew ... I know it shouldn't matter and he has made ZERO demands ...
just finding out that he wants a large wp and I can't make that happen ..
there is a lot going on in my head and heart ... having the dream of HIRING people just made me feel more inadequate!
I will be fine, me and FH will always be fine ..... its just the knowing, and the lack of possibilities that makes me sad ...
regy_k
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
that really sux totally feel ur pain. I have no idea if we will even have a bp ur not inadequate, we all have different circumstances thats all. dont feel bad
bridezilla2b
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
Posted by regy_k
that really sux totally feel ur pain. I have no idea if we will even have a bp ur not inadequate, we all have different circumstances thats all. dont feel bad
Thank you!
jcreilly
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
Dont ask people that you dont want in your BP If you only have three close friends then fine FH should understand,Its also cheaper for you to have asmaller BP, Less people at RD, less BP favors, not as many flowers BM bo-q
MarjorieFrank
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
So sorry...
Remember it's quality not quantity. I had a ton of friends... now I only keep in touch with a handful and only really like 2 of them. I like having 2 great friends then a bunch of friends who I can't stand.
Soon2bMrsH
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
i feel your pain as well............
see if FH will consider only having 3?? or are there any of FH friends that you are close with that you feel like you can ask??
sorry you have to go through this, but see if FH will consider having a smaller BP, after all you are the bride- you can totally go bridezilla hahahaha JUST KIDDING!!!!!
cateydee
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
Posted by Soon2bMrsH
i feel your pain as well............
see if FH will consider only having 3?? or are there any of FH friends that you are close with that you feel like you can ask??
sorry you have to go through this, but see if FH will consider having a smaller BP, after all you are the bride- you can totally go bridezilla hahahaha JUST KIDDING!!!!!
i definitely feel your pain. i only wanted extremely close family and friends. we decided to do MOH and best man ONLY because we didnt want any drama. but also i decided that because i dont really have many super close friends that i would want to ask. u are not a loser or anything, you just have different circumstances than your FH. you should do what makes you comfortable. FH will understand.
StellaStar13
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
I completely comiserate w/your situation!!! We agreed we wanted a small BP. We figured 10 total. Well one of my BM who I have known for 14yrs and we had been SUPER SUPER tight for about 12 of them decide one day she was done w/our friendship and obviously the wedding too. Another chick I asked to be a BM basically said she didnt want to do it b/c she was 'busy'. Yup....I dont even have a fregin wedding date set yet!!!!!! SO I felt like the BIGGEST LOSER in the world for a few weeks and then I figured, those who love me will be there and those that dont wont and I cant put too much stock in that.
You are fine pls dont feel the need, pressure to measure up to others just have the ladies you love & who love you. Let FH have his GM & I have no doubt it will be an awesome WP!!!!
stinenandy2010
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
aww i'm sorry
but really it doesn't matter how many as long as the friends you have are there for you.
marinai7
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
I'm sorry. Don't feel bad - you'll have the 3 people that mean a lot to you in your wedding party and that's ok. You don't need a bunch of other ppl in the wp just for the heck of it.
Soon2bShea
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
I know how you feel! When I moved to FL 3 years ago I lost contact with ALOT of my friends over time. FH was born and raised in FL so he has 23487239847 people he wants in the BP. If it were up to FH, he would have every one of his friends be a groomsmen (even the ones hes not so close with).
Iluvpoodles
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
You don't have to have a large bridal party and he should understand that. I am having a MOH and possibly one bridesmaid. I don't have any family from either side to put in the bridal party, or 10 close friends either lol. He should understand that and not keep insisting to have 10 people in it. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Some people have alot of friends they are close to, and some don't, like me and you. No biggie. The 2 people who are in it I've known since childhood. I think the BP should be your closet friends but some girls just put all of their friends in it close or not. Some people have no one, not even a MOH. It's only tradition to have a BP anyway.
SoonToBMrsC
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
I don't understand...what is his sister 'scared' of???????
Mardi928
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
We are having 8 people in our BP, 1 MOH, 3 bms and 1 BM, 3 gms.
They are the people that are closest to us. People always tell us that it is too small, but I don't want to put people in that I am not close to just for the sake of having a large BP.
If your FH wants to have more people, what about involving them in other ways? Maybe reading a poem at the ceremony, or a speech at the reception? There is no limit on how creative you can be to incorporate these people.
Good Luck.
JenBill61210
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Re: Officially DEVASTATED! <long vent>
Posted by MarjorieFrank
So sorry...
Remember it's quality not quantity. I had a ton of friends... now I only keep in touch with a handful and only really like 2 of them. I like having 2 great friends then a bunch of friends who I can't stand.
