Oh boy...I need your help ladies!!!

Okay so I knew there would be someone in my family that wouldnt be happy about us having no kids at the reception. Last night I was at my parents house and my couisn called and I answered the phone. So she was asking about the wedding plans and asking about the flower girl and ring bearer (she happens to have a girl and a boy)....I knew where she was going with this. So she asked me if I wanted her kids to be the flower girl and ring bearer. So I said no thanks we arent having a flower girl or ring bearer....We arent having kids at the wedding. So she says to me well I have to bring them because my mom and my sisters are going to be at the wedding so I wont have a babysitter. At this point I was a little ticked so I said....The wedding isnt until November 30 2007...You have plenty of time until then to find a babysitter.

What do I do if she insists that she has to bring the kids? They are I think 4 and 6?? I like kids but IMO the parents wont be able to enjoy themselves if their kids are there you know?

---

Posted by ef922

If you have to have her kids, then you have to have everyone's kids...tell her that in the nicest way possible! It's not that you don't want them to be a part of your special day, but you want everyone to be able to enjoy themselves and you don't want her to worry about watching her kids..you want her to have fun. And you're right...she has plenty of time to make arrangements.

---

I totally agree!!! Well said

Tell your cousin- NO KIDS MEANS NO KIDS!!!

If she like she can stay home and watch her kids...

---

Posted by werock0709

---

Posted by ef922

If you have to have her kids, then you have to have everyone's kids...tell her that in the nicest way possible! It's not that you don't want them to be a part of your special day, but you want everyone to be able to enjoy themselves and you don't want her to worry about watching her kids..you want her to have fun. And you're right...she has plenty of time to make arrangements.

---

I totally agree!!! Well said

---

i agree as well. she does have time for arrangements, maybe she spoke too soon and when she thinks about she'll realize

---

Posted by werock0709

---

Posted by ef922

If you have to have her kids, then you have to have everyone's kids...tell her that in the nicest way possible! It's not that you don't want them to be a part of your special day, but you want everyone to be able to enjoy themselves and you don't want her to worry about watching her kids..you want her to have fun. And you're right...she has plenty of time to make arrangements.

---

I totally agree!!! Well said

---

I agree-we had this same issue and the answer was NO KIDS, when the subject was pushed my a few we said, if it is absolutely necessary then you can stay home and watch them...NO KIDS...it may sound rude but most of them change their tune when they realize that they cant change your mind

Dear Cousin,

FH and I are so happy that you will be sharing our celebration! It really means so much to us that you will be there for us on our wedding day. I know that seeking out child care poses some additional leg work on your part, and I want you to know how much I appreciate your understanding in this matter. Financial constraints simply do not allow us to accomodate all of the important adults in our life, if we include all of their children. I am more than happy to help look for a babysitter in the coming year and a half, and want you to know that I appreciate you taking this extra effort on our behalf.

Looking forward to celebrating the most special day of my life with you,
Your Loving Cousin

---

Posted by kat107

Dear Cousin,

FH and I are so happy that you will be sharing our celebration! It really means so much to us that you will be there for us on our wedding day. I know that seeking out child care poses some additional leg work on your part, and I want you to know how much I appreciate your understanding in this matter. Financial constraints simply do not allow us to accomodate all of the important adults in our life, if we include all of their children. I am more than happy to help look for a babysitter in the coming year and a half, and want you to know that I appreciate you taking this extra effort on our behalf.

Looking forward to celebrating the most special day of my life with you,
Your Loving Cousin

---

---

Posted by ef922

If you have to have her kids, then you have to have everyone's kids...tell her that in the nicest way possible! It's not that you don't want them to be a part of your special day, but you want everyone to be able to enjoy themselves and you don't want her to worry about watching her kids..you want her to have fun. And you're right...she has plenty of time to make arrangements.

---

Effie, I totally agree! well said

After hearing FH's family complain about the last 'Adult reception' wedding we attended I came up with an easy solution. Provide babysitting! Now you can either pay or let them know the cost, but that a professional caregiver will be there...many daycare centers have people who will 'freelance' Here's what we are putting in the invites & have on our website....i also said that if people don't like that it's an adult reception then they certainly don't need to attend...i feel that if anyone has any issues with what i am doing, then JUST DON'T COME! hahaha (ooops...was that bridezilla talking?)

'FOR OUR OUT-OF-TOWN GUESTS WITH CHILDREN
We understand many of you have children & will be traveling from other countries or from out-of-state,which makes leaving them behind intangable.

And since we want you to be able to attend we are offering the services of a professional babysitter to keep them occupied and entertained so that you may relax and enjoy the party!

Just let us know how many children you will be bringing along with their ages.'

I'm not having ANY kids at my reception. And I don't think there is anything with it. You just have to keep your foot down. And you said the right thing by just being like you have more than enough time to find a babysitter. She'll get over it, as harsh as that sounds.

Wow How rude! I mean to just invite your kids to be in someones wedding party!!! I would make sure she was aware that I did not want kids sorry that is the way it is and if she brings them that will cause More problems when others see them there. Goog Luck!!

---

Posted by JazzyT

Same here..I am only having the BP kids and thats it you have to draw the line.

---

i am doing the same thing -

I have people inviting kids who arent even born yet. FSIL wants to bring her 8 month old twins to the reception.

---

Posted by werock0709

---

Posted by ef922

If you have to have her kids, then you have to have everyone's kids...tell her that in the nicest way possible! It's not that you don't want them to be a part of your special day, but you want everyone to be able to enjoy themselves and you don't want her to worry about watching her kids..you want her to have fun. And you're right...she has plenty of time to make arrangements.

---

I totally agree!!! Well said

---

I agree!

Well you had a good start by telling her she has plenty of time to find a baby sitter...lol
It's hard if you don't have children to understand how parents feel. I don't have children but if I did I know I would probably want my children to be there (if they weren't babies). But if you told her there will be no children there at all, she needs to respect your decision. Just keep telling her there won't be any other children there.
XOXOXO
Kitty

I think you gave her the BEST possible answer when you said she had plenty of time to find a sitter. I have to say I am even a little turned off that she asked you to use her kids as her FG and RB. That's a wee bit pushy.

Sweetie it's your wedding. If you don't want to extend the invitation to children, then don't. The issue is, if you allow one cousin to bring their small children...that is when other family members get real po'd. If you do it for one, you have to do it for everyone.

Ugh, I know this whole etiquette thing is a lot to deal with. Martha Stewart, I'm not. Good luck and do what works best for you and FH.