Oh it's going to be a BLAST come 11/1...
I totally understand now the strife and drama these RSVPs cause and all those posts from all the past brides about them. I really don't know WHY I thought maybe I'd escape it, but this is a real flipping doozie.
So Wednesday I got an invitation returned to sender. It was one of FMIL's relatives who live in Brooklyn, and it said not deliverable as addressed. So I called her up to verify that I had the correct address, and she told me the address again and it was the same that was on the invitation. So she said that she would call her parents to find out if they had moved and she didn't know. She called me back later that night and told me that her parents confirmed the address again, and there was no reason for it to come back to us and was probably on account of that they live on a numbered street and it was spelled out (seventy sixth instead of 76th). We had other guests who live on numbered streets where it was spelled out who got theirs for definite though, so I doubt that really was the case.
So I ask her if it would be possible to call them just to make absolutely sure, because I didn't want to send it out again only to have it come back in another two weeks, since that will be cutting it close time wise. It did take a full 2 weeks to attempt to be delivered and sent back. And especially because in my calling to inform her of this situation, it jogged her memory that she forgot to invite their adult children, who also live at the same address as it's a two-family home. So I REALLY didn't want to send 2 invitations to a known bad address, again, without confirmation. She said she would call her parents again for their number and call me the next day to tell me the deal.
So she never called me yesterday with any news, and I had to call today anyways just to ask if she had any more people who will actually say yes to invite since we have to scrounge up a solid B list by early next week. So she tells me that her father had looked them up on yellow pages online and confirmed via that again the address was correct, found their phone number, BUT told her that he doesn't want her to call relatives about the invitations because it will 'put them on the spot'. And she said she agreed and that she won't call anyone!![]()
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Meanwhile, we have 112 now outstanding, and when I said that after the RSVP date if we didn't get a card back she HAS to call to find out for certain, her answer was that 'Don't worry, no one will go past the date'.![]()
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And in this particular case, what makes it even worse/weirder is that we sent an STD to this address, just the older parents though, and that did not get returned to us...so we are assuming they got it, which means they are saving the date for a wedding that as far as they know, at this moment, they haven't been invited to!!!! And THAT's way more rude than calling to confirm an address I think...
So what the heck am I going to do if she flat out refuses to call her relatives for definitive answers? FGFIL had the right idea with yellow pages, but would it be a total giant no no if I googled these people and called them up myself? But for real, we can't just assume that no card means no, in case it just didn't make its way back to us or got lost or whatever, and if she won't call for the answer herself...
So Wednesday I got an invitation returned to sender. It was one of FMIL's relatives who live in Brooklyn, and it said not deliverable as addressed. So I called her up to verify that I had the correct address, and she told me the address again and it was the same that was on the invitation. So she said that she would call her parents to find out if they had moved and she didn't know. She called me back later that night and told me that her parents confirmed the address again, and there was no reason for it to come back to us and was probably on account of that they live on a numbered street and it was spelled out (seventy sixth instead of 76th). We had other guests who live on numbered streets where it was spelled out who got theirs for definite though, so I doubt that really was the case.
So I ask her if it would be possible to call them just to make absolutely sure, because I didn't want to send it out again only to have it come back in another two weeks, since that will be cutting it close time wise. It did take a full 2 weeks to attempt to be delivered and sent back. And especially because in my calling to inform her of this situation, it jogged her memory that she forgot to invite their adult children, who also live at the same address as it's a two-family home. So I REALLY didn't want to send 2 invitations to a known bad address, again, without confirmation. She said she would call her parents again for their number and call me the next day to tell me the deal.
So she never called me yesterday with any news, and I had to call today anyways just to ask if she had any more people who will actually say yes to invite since we have to scrounge up a solid B list by early next week. So she tells me that her father had looked them up on yellow pages online and confirmed via that again the address was correct, found their phone number, BUT told her that he doesn't want her to call relatives about the invitations because it will 'put them on the spot'. And she said she agreed and that she won't call anyone!
Meanwhile, we have 112 now outstanding, and when I said that after the RSVP date if we didn't get a card back she HAS to call to find out for certain, her answer was that 'Don't worry, no one will go past the date'.
So what the heck am I going to do if she flat out refuses to call her relatives for definitive answers? FGFIL had the right idea with yellow pages, but would it be a total giant no no if I googled these people and called them up myself? But for real, we can't just assume that no card means no, in case it just didn't make its way back to us or got lost or whatever, and if she won't call for the answer herself...
