I posted on Sunday that I ran into someone who has a habit of popping by uninvited. My husband has said something to her over the summer. Then I said it again to her Sunday. I told her that we both think she should call first before just coming over because we may be busy. Well, guess what? She had the nerve to come over unannounced the very next day. I am so p%#@ off at her for being so rude and purposely doing that. I acted very nice to her but I inside I am livid! I can't believe someone would be so inconsiderate and rude when both my husband and I have both talked to her about this. She lives in the same town so I'm afraid this is going to happen a lot like she did last summer. Also, she doesn't leave when you tell her that you are about to eat dinner or that you have to run out. How do you deal with someone like this? (She is married to a relative) so we try to be nice about it) although she obviously doesn't care about anyone but herself.
NovemberSue
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
How dumb can she be? If we both told her NOT to come by univited and she acts as if we never had the conversation. At first I thought perhaps she didn't remember talking to my DH but she did. She even mentioned that he told her to stop showing up without calling. Then shows up the very next day. I know it was out of spite. I am furious with her right now but trying to keep my cool. I think I am just going to keep my distance whenever I see her. Maybe she will get the hint that I am annoyed. I doubt it though. How do you deal with a rude person like this?
eroxgirl
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
Next time she does that, don't let her in!! Just tell her 'oh, I'm sorry, I really can't have company now I was about to .....' or 'now is not a good time, maybe we can set something up for later in the week' and close the door on her! You shouldn't be feeling bad about hurting her feelings when she is not at all feeling bad about her constant rudeness!
NovemberSue
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
I wanted to do that so badly but she brings her little son over (in 4th grade) and we don't want to do that to him. If my husband wasn't home, I wouldn't have answered the door. I would have pretended I wasn't home.
Diane
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
I bet she did it on purpose. That would make me so mad too. I would confront her again. Hope she will eventually get the hint
NovemberSue
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
She doesn't care. I said to her on Sunday that we really don't like when she pops over like that,for her to please call first. She kept saying ' I am family and I don't need to call.' It just goes in one ear and out the other. She is married to someone on DH's side. We can't talk to her husband. She does this to other people in the family too. I don't want to start trouble with anyone. I just don't want it to get worse and have her over all the time. I think I will just keep a distance and when I see her for holiday's, keep my conversation limited and try to avoid her the best I can without being extremely obvious. Believe me, she won't notice. Any advice?
Becky
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
I think you should do exactly what Rebecca suggested - just don't let her in. Even though you might feel like you are hurting her son in the process, I think it would be a good thing for him to see and hear because clearly he is not going to learn that what she is doing is inappropriate unless that lesson is coming from someone else. I am sure his mothers behavior will be embarassing, but he needs to learn manners somewhere and I don't think those lessons are going to come from his mother.
NovemberSue
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
Why do you think she does this? Do you think she is just trying to annoy us? Family members have come right out and told her to leave in the past when she dropped in on her, and she didn't. She just stayed for an hour or so even if they were about to eat or if they were sick. Or do you think she is just plain dumb?
aliasPook
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
Let her see you at teh window, and I would just ignore the bell. When she is lookign up at you in teh window on her way out, make sure she see's you. WHen she calls, tell her you were busy and it wasn't a good time for compnay. she'll leasrn eventually!
LizD
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
family or not she needs to call first. We rent an apt in our house to DH brother and I make him call before coming up!!!
This is rude and unacceptable. I guess she needs to be told very firm and not as nice as you and DH have already told her
Danielle&Scott
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
HOW rude...I hate when people show up with out calling....AARGGGhhh She would annoy the heck out of me. I would do what everyone else said....If you see her coming to the house, close all the lights....and dont open the door. If she calls the house, let the machine get it. Just cause both your cars are there, doesnt mean you are home. You could of went out to excersize or went out with other people.
I do this sometimes....its the same thing that you do to people that are selling things or jahovas witnesses.
NovemberSue
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
We were very firm. I can't believe she would still not care. She has me so upset. I feel like we have no privacy because we will always have her barging in on us whenever she feels like it. She knows I am pregnant, you think she would congratulate my hubby when she saw him? Not a word. And she doesn't care that she is bothering us. She is on my SH*T list! I'm going to keep conversation to the bare minimum with her when I see her. Maybe then she will not feel comfortable around me.
NovemberSue
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
If I was the only one home, I wouldn't get the door. But when my hubby's home, he doesn't want to be rude and not let her in even though she is being rude herself.
LizD
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
You so need to stop this now anyway you can. After you have the baby she may be so much worse
I would tell her 'look - i'm pregnant and I am very tired. When I am home I just need to have the house quiet and I need to rest and we are not really having guests or family over right now unless plans have been made in advance so I can rest up for it. This is what my doctor suggests and I have to follow doctors orders. Give me a call next week and MAYBE we can make plans, depends on how I feel'
joeslauren
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
u are too kind! i think i would've flipped my lid if she came the very next day! bc she is really just trying to make a statement with that one! like liz said.. i would just come out and say how you are preggo and have been too tired and would love a courtesy call in advance. if she doesn't get it then.. i wouldn't open the door! then it's HER problem! even if the cars are parked outside. take a HINT!
NovemberSue
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
Liz, thats the problem. We've talked to her and she doesn't care!!!! She feels like she can come over anytime she wants to even after we both said NO. Obviously she doesn't care that she is annoying both of us. She does this to others in the family. They've even told her to leave straight out because they had the flu. She still wouldn't leave! I can't have this! She better NOT continue to do this to us. I may snap.
Becky
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
How can she NOT leave when directly asked to?? Does she really just flat out refuse to leave or is she saying 'oh, I wont get sick' or 'I don't mind if you eat while I am here'??? I don't get how this all plays out.
You know what just popped into my head - that SNL skit from way back when - THE GUEST THAT WOULD NOT LEAVE. That is who this woman is.
NovemberSue
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
Becky: Never saw the skit but it sounds like her. She just continues talking and tells you she has nothing else to do and its ok if you eat in front of her.She says 'Its ok, I'll wait.' Does she have any brains???????Maybe I should push her. (just kidding)
Becky
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
Sue, LOL, I just busted out laughing at the image of her saying 'its ok, I'll wait,' you pausing and then just pushing her.
Maybe you can just take her arm in yours and lead her towards the door telling her that you are soooo sorry that you don't have time for her, but that she should call you later. Then SHE would have to push you if she wanted to stay! I wonder if she would.....
julybride444
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Re: Oh NO, She didn't!
Could it be a cultural difference? In some cultures you would be the rude one if you didn't entertain a guest.
Either way, next time she pops by I'd stop it at the door. I'd say that it was a bad time, and that you'd call her later when you had a chance to look at your schedule and choose a better time-then call her later! But, DONT LET HER IN if she just shows up
