OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 05:50 PM

OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

I work on saturdays - I supervise an all day social skills program. There are 3 directors - 1 man, and 2 women.

The man - lets say Joe, was the director at another program I worked in since October of 2004.

In April of 2005, I left to join another program with 2 other women (both older, married) - and asked him to join along.

Now I'm inviting all of them to the wedding - I want to invite Joe and his Girlfriend, since we have known them a while and have hung out socially a great deal, but the 2 women I want to invite as singles. I never met their husbands, I am inviting them because we work together and i like them, but I am not sure we will ever be friends after we are done with this program, but I feel we always will with Joe and his GF.

When I asked 1 woman to email me with her address, she emailed both her and her husband's name. I only gave my dad her name alone to send the invite too...

So, my question is:

what if she RSVP's 2 people
How will she feel if I let joe bring his GF (who we are friends with) but tell her she can't bring her husband?

does that make sense???

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 05:52 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

Was this too long? I hate reading long posts!!!

babybug631 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 05:53 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

I hate to say this, but if she's married you should invite her husband or not invite her at all. It would be one thing if they were just dating, but they're married. JMHO

ML110 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 05:55 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

honestly, i think when people are married, you pretty much have to invite the spouse, too.... i mean think about if the situation was reversed and DH was invited to something like this without you...... if it means inviting 2 extra people ( this ladies husband, and the other ladies husband) i think you have to do it.....
...

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 05:56 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

OH - I should say that we are inviting all of our coworkers single - none are bringing spouses... Only friends and family are invited with spouses or partners - otherwise we would be inviting double the amount and our hall can;t accomodate all the people...

and all of our coworkers already know we are inviting them...

jenheartsrob Posted: Apr 07, 2006 05:57 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

married is different than dating i think.... so i hate to say it, but i think the hubbies have to come :(

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 05:57 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

Posted by jenheartsrob

married is different than dating i think.... so i hate to say it, but i think the hubbies have to come :(

well, looks like we are going to piss off just about everyone invited then, because it ain't happening....

alioop4282 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 05:58 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

I kinda agree with the above. I don't think I would want to go if it were me, and my husband wasn't allowed to come.
On the other hand I work with two girls in my department that I want to invite but I don't know their husbands are don't really want to invite them either.
But I feel like I have to.

Boop2704 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 05:58 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

Posted by babybug631

I hate to say this, but if she's married you should invite her husband or not invite her at all. It would be one thing if they were just dating, but they're married. JMHO

I totally agree. She is not 16 bringing her boyfriend. She is an older married woman. Put yourself in her shoes, it is an elegant affair your invited to with dancing and such and you are told sorry can't bring your husband. She's going to be sitting there alone all night or not come. I think you should leave it up to her whether to bring her husband or not. And Joe is going to have his GF there so these poor two ladies are going to get to sit together at a table all night instead of dancing with their husbands and probably not know anyone else.JMO, but I think the husbands should be invited too!!

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 06:01 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

I don't know what to do - they'll have to sit in the hallway!

babybug631 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 06:06 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

Posted by lipglossjunky73

I don't know what to do - they'll have to sit in the hallway!

Don't invite them. Explain that you have too many people on the list and can't fit everyone. I'm sure they will understand.

This is why I didn't invite co-workers.

Jackie&Justin Posted: Apr 07, 2006 06:09 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

Posted by babybug631

Posted by lipglossjunky73

I don't know what to do - they'll have to sit in the hallway!

Don't invite them. Explain that you have too many people on the list and can't fit everyone. I'm sure they will understand.

This is why I didn't invite co-workers.

I agree, you have to invite the husbands, or not at all. We have a rule, no coworkers, none of mine or FH or none of our parents. It's the only way to cut the list is to make rules.

FallBride05 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 06:15 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

I have to agree with the other posters. If I was invited to a wedding without my husband, I know I would be rsvp'ing with a no. I would also assume that since I'm married my husband would be part of the invite as well.

randella Posted: Apr 07, 2006 06:35 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

I concur with everyone else-- you cannot invite someone who is married without their spouse. Think about if you were in their shoes-- and how you would feel if you FH was not invited.

Jennie0898 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 06:35 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

Completely agree with all the other posts. It's not right to invite someone who's married without their spouse. I think it seems even worse because you want to invite one of the three co-workers (Joe) with his GF. IMHO spouses trump GF/BF. I would say if you can't invite them w/their spouses don't invite them at all. They deserve the right to decide for themselves whether or not they want to bring their spouse.

stacey&paul Posted: Apr 07, 2006 06:49 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

I also agree. I think that people who are married or live together should be invited together or not at all. My situation is different because the couple has only been dating a few months and they don't live together.

suven Posted: Apr 07, 2006 07:03 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

I replied to one of the other threads on this- I will not celebrate someone's marriage if that person does not even respect my marriage.

mskittynj Posted: Apr 07, 2006 07:46 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

Posted by lipglossjunky73

I work on saturdays - I supervise an all day social skills program. There are 3 directors - 1 man, and 2 women.

The man - lets say Joe, was the director at another program I worked in since October of 2004.

In April of 2005, I left to join another program with 2 other women (both older, married) - and asked him to join along.

Now I'm inviting all of them to the wedding - I want to invite Joe and his Girlfriend, since we have known them a while and have hung out socially a great deal, but the 2 women I want to invite as singles. I never met their husbands, I am inviting them because we work together and i like them, but I am not sure we will ever be friends after we are done with this program, but I feel we always will with Joe and his GF.

When I asked 1 woman to email me with her address, she emailed both her and her husband's name. I only gave my dad her name alone to send the invite too...

So, my question is:

what if she RSVP's 2 people
How will she feel if I let joe bring his GF (who we are friends with) but tell her she can't bring her husband?

does that make sense???

Hunny that is their HUSBANDS!!!! Would you go to a wedding without your husband? I wouldn't, if you want them to be there I think it's polite to invite their husbands too....
XOXOXO
Kitty

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 09:29 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

Posted by randella

I concur with everyone else-- you cannot invite someone who is married without their spouse. Think about if you were in their shoes-- and how you would feel if you FH was not invited.

I stated in the other post - honestly, I'd be fine with it. I just don't get bothered by things like that... is that strange?

CLMon7906 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 09:33 PM

Re: OK - a spinoff to 'But she's not invited...'

Posted by babybug631

I hate to say this, but if she's married you should invite her husband or not invite her at all. It would be one thing if they were just dating, but they're married. JMHO

i have to agree...FH was invited to a wedding a couple of years ago...you could only bring a date if you were married...which simply meant that no one brought a date...i was a bit annoyed, but got over it very quickly...but you just can't invite married people singly...now, they might come that way....kids get sick, someone has to watch them, etc.....but you gotta invite them. sorry.