my fh wants to talk to a lawyer about a prenup i don't know if i should be offended???? would you??? it is not like he is loaded but he has a good pension...ah not for nothing but my family has more money so i guess he is screwin himself any advice thoughts???
TrueLoveIn2008
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hmmmmm that is interesting. a prenup does not cover anything you make/buy/do together after marriage, right? That's strange..... sorry I cannot be more of a help.
Maria31
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That's definitely something that you don't hear everyday. I think I would be offended...
jteach711
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I am not gonna lie, I would be offended. Too many people go into marriage thinking that if something goes wrong there is an easy way out and I just do not look at it like that. MArriage is always and forever and if you look at it like that than there is no need for a prenup, especially if you are saying he isn't overly wealthy. So whats the point then??????
jcslady
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Posted by Maria31
That's definitely something that you don't hear everyday. I think I would be offended...
i am offended but i think it is because the circus he calls his family (FMIL) the marriges in general are a mess!!! my family is different not to say better but I think he wants to be protected.
Randilotus
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This is a very touchy subject. Neither of us are rich so it really doesn't matter. If he asked for one in our situation I would be mad, only because anything we earn in this marriage is both of ours. If my FH was loaded I don't think I would care, because I would want him to know I was marrying him for love and not money. But even then it's kinda of like saying just in case we get divorced and if that is a question in your head then... don't marry me. I'm sorry I just wanted to give my honest opinion... I don't want to offend, i know that everyones situations are different.
Michiamanomimi
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I would not be offended. My FH owes our home, but I have a higher paying job. We actually talked about getting a pre-nup for him to protect him if anything happened, but we decided that since I bring more in on an annual basis it would be be equal over a couple of years. This is the part of marriage that is not about how much you love each other, but the business side. Most likely you will never need it, but it's there just in case.
Espo22
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That is a touchy subject. Definitely sit down and talk to him about it and tell him how you feel in a nice way dont make it into a fight. I won't say whether its right or wrong because everybody is different and we all do different things in a relationship. What is right to one person is wrong to another but it seems like it bothers you which is the only opinion that matters at this moment.
MN06
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wow , haven't heard that yet either ... but honestly i have one friend who is in the middle of a nasty divorce lots of issues over their house , cars etc ... sooo i guess it would be beneficial in some circumstances. With that being said I would be totally offended if fh brought it up.
cammolax23
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its a touch subject to approach, but knowing that he comes from a 'circus' of a family i would take it as he is looking at it from that angle and sees the bad, and is not really looking at the good ( meaning being married to you forever)
I would be a little upset but I would also understand where he was coming from (if it is infact his family that is effed up)
I Love my bear
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Posted by jcslady
Posted by Maria31
That's definitely something that you don't hear everyday. I think I would be offended...
i am offended but i think it is because the circus he calls his family (FMIL) the marriges in general are a mess!!! my family is different not to say better but I think he wants to be protected.
Well this is probably exactly why he's looking into it, from where he's coming from marriages aren't exactly forever so he probably feels pressured to be on the precautionary side. I would ask him what his reasons are, basically WHY and see what he comes up with. Than mention your concerns, and go from there.
jcslady
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we are both very independent, make good money and stubborn. we love each other which I thought was enough be he just thinks IF we ever did it could get ugly. If we ever had kids the prenup goes out the window... I guess we will talk about it more.......
SoontobeMrsMc
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Wow! That's a tough conversation for anyone to have. I think I'd be a little offended. But then again, maybe he has legitimate reasons. Have you asked him?
We are in a similiar situation but opposite roles. My father died a few years ago and left my brother and I a large sum of money and his pension (he was in a union). And I also have been able to save a large sum of money over the years just working and saving everything that I can. So I am the one that would need the prenup-if one of us were to consider it.
However, I have chosen NOT to get a prenup. I feel that, we are going into this, with the thought process that FH and I are going to be together forever. Therefore, I should not have any concerns over us ever being in a situation where this might even be an issue. Second, I trust FH is not the kind of person to ever hurt me like that. He knows how I view things. I don't even touch that money. I feel that my dad worked very hard for it and it's not mine to just waste away. It's away for something very important one day (retirement, grandkids-etc...) And I feel that FH respects that and values my feelings. And last but not least, I sort of have the outlook that 'my money is his money and his money is my money' type thing.
Point is, we sat down and discussed all of this. Because unfortunately most marital issues do end up being around finances (not always but often). I guess it's how you look at things. And I'm sure there are other circumstances. Perhaps you should sit down with FH and figure things out. This is a huge issue. I hope it all works out.
BoxOfRocks
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Posted by I Love my bear
Posted by jcslady
Posted by Maria31
That's definitely something that you don't hear everyday. I think I would be offended...
i am offended but i think it is because the circus he calls his family (FMIL) the marriges in general are a mess!!! my family is different not to say better but I think he wants to be protected.
Well this is probably exactly why he's looking into it, from where he's coming from marriages aren't exactly forever so he probably feels pressured to be on the precautionary side. I would ask him what his reasons are, basically WHY and see what he comes up with. Than mention your concerns, and go from there.
Good advice!
DH and I talked about having a prenup, but decided against it. I understand why people get them, but we felt like it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. It was planning for an end for something that should never end.
Perhaps you and DH should investigate pre-marital counseling if you have not done so already. That would be a great forum for you both to discuss communication, views of marriage, etc. Good luck!
TheFutureMrsM
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I actually thought i would be signing some sort of a prenup. It was brought up months ago, and i was all set to get the ball rolling. contacting lawyers etc.
But i havnt heard anything about it, and FH nor his father has brought it up again.
I wouldnt rock the boat, i would try to avoid the situation completely, that is what i have been doing.
As of right now its less than 4 months til my wedding, and if Future inlaws tried to make me sign something now, i dont think i would have the time to sit with a lawyer and go over the documents, and if they forced me to sign it right before the wedding, it wouldnt hold up in a court.
So my advice is just let it be for a while, see if his family produces a document, if they do, get a lawyer and review and revise it until you are happy
SoontobeMrsMc
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It was planning for an end for something that should never end. !
Well said!!! I never really said it like that but it's exactly what I was thinking!
jcslady
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Posted by TheFutureMrsM
I actually thought i would be signing some sort of a prenup. It was brought up months ago, and i was all set to get the ball rolling. contacting lawyers etc.
But i havnt heard anything about it, and FH nor his father has brought it up again.
I wouldnt rock the boat, i would try to avoid the situation completely, that is what i have been doing.
As of right now its less than 4 months til my wedding, and if Future inlaws tried to make me sign something now, i dont think i would have the time to sit with a lawyer and go over the documents, and if they forced me to sign it right before the wedding, it wouldnt hold up in a court.
So my advice is just let it be for a while, see if his family produces a document, if they do, get a lawyer and review and revise it until you are happy
good advice!! thanks..
heathermatt
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wow...very touchy subject ....I do not know how I would feel....I think I might feel a little upset but I can understand protecting what you had before...
MY FH bought the place we are going to move into and he has said numerous times that it is our place and it does not matter who is paying for it...It is our home and our life...
kristi313
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Posted by jteach711
I am not gonna lie, I would be offended. Too many people go into marriage thinking that if something goes wrong there is an easy way out and I just do not look at it like that. MArriage is always and forever and if you look at it like that than there is no need for a prenup, especially if you are saying he isn't overly wealthy. So whats the point then??????
my thoughts exactly, i don't want what he has, i want him
jcslady
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Posted by heathermatt
wow...very touchy subject ....I do not know how I would feel....I think I might feel a little upset but I can understand protecting what you had before...
MY FH bought the place we are going to move into and he has said numerous times that it is our place and it does not matter who is paying for it...It is our home and our life...
my fh bought our place too! he says it is 'our' place but i secretly think he would say it was his if something happened
