ok i need some advice kind of personal!!!

imo with a pre-nup even mentioned I think I would watch things like you are saying about your place.Is your name on the deed? That is really important.

Im a sorry this is even being discussed.... Fh is xcoming into our marriage with a lot more to offer than me including a double digit bank account from his mom passing, property and all the perks of being an only child.. I come into it with less to offer.. I hope itgets forgotten

IMO if he is really rich like Donald Trump rich then I will not be offended. He has a right to protect his asset (I would do the same) But if not - I will be insulted.


FYI: NY is not a communal property state, whatever you own before you get married is own property - unless s/he change the title, then it become your own property.

If the only reason he want to do that is because of his pension, i think it ridiculous. When you file your pension, it will ask you your status - when you put married, your pension will automatically goes to your spouse. Try to talk to him and let him know how you feel about it.

if you had talked about it previously and this was no surprise than I guess you should have expected it.

If it came from left field with no clues at all.....I would be offended.

Not for nothing, as his wife you are sharing your lives and that includes his pension. It also includes nothing if, gos forbid, he looses everything!

As a law student currently taking family law I wouldn't be offended by the prospect of one, but it depends what he wanted to put in it.

If there were specific assets he felt he needed to protect 'just in case' I'd understand. If he wanted to limit spousal support and screw me I'd be pissed. It also depends on how it was brought up -- a lot of the cases we read involved the prenup being forced on someone the day before the wedding with an 'I won't marry you unless you sign this' threat.

Some courts wont uphold a prenup unless it was signed 1-2 months before the wedding to protect from duress, but I personally think that kind of threat even 4-5 months before can be duress. We're almost at our 6 month mark and already have virtually everything booked.

Talk to your FH -- it doesnt sound like he's trying to screw you but if he seems serious about a prenup for any reason, get an atty for your own protection.

I would probably be a little offended.
I can see people doing it when their families own businesses or have large estates. But not if you are both working really hard to keep yourselves afloat. And if you both contribute towards everything then everything should be split equally in the event of the 'D' word. BUt if he loves you why is he thinking of what he gets when its over?

I wouldn't be offended. Maybe a little sad about the realities of life, but not offended.

Divorce Rates

If you're under 24 years old now, the chances for divorce are 36%. As you get older, your chance decreases, but it is still always there. A prenup recognizes the reality of that and both of you get to protect yourself while you're still rational and not angry, bitter, and fighting. He's not telling you that he thinks your marriage won't work; he's acknowledging that statistically your marriage has about a one in four chance of not working, and that he doesn't want there to be too much bitter fighting if that happens.

I don't have a prenup with my FH, but if he asked for one, I'd do it.

i'd be offended - marriage is forever - everything is yours together
i think going into a marriage thinking about a prenup & or divorce is a bad way to start anything off

thats just the way i look at things

same thing with the shared account vs individual account