honestly if she is paying i would just allow it!! I mean I know you might not want all those ppl but it is also her son's wedding and perhaps she is close with all those ppl. I would say pick and choose your battles--esp. with a FMIL.
if anything, ask her to cut her list as much as she can. how about you tell her to invite about 75% from that list?
R&J0806
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I am going thru the exact same thing! My FMIL has 150+ ppl on her list. My dad only has about 60...but since they're spliting the cost he really can't say anything.
But regardless, i'm going to be walking into my reception to a bunch of strangers!!!!
V&S03
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Does your FMIL co workers know your husband well? If so, and she is willing to pay for them then I see no reason not to have them come. If they don't know either one of you well, then I don't see why they would even want to go.
suven
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Tiggeruth
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I think that parents like to include and show off their 'new family' to people they are close with. Some people have been working with the same people for many many years and consider them to be good friends, some almost family. If she is willing to pay for them to be there then I view them as people who are important to her. There are a lot of people who I dont know on the guest list for my wedding as of right now, but since I am not paying for it I am going to let the parents do whatever they want. I have a good price and the room is large enough to hold added people. I want my wedding to be a happy day and dont want to be argueing over a guest list.
N.Y.bride
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Re: OK Need opinion!
I would tell her theres simply no room left at the hall for friends like that.
If that doesnt work at least she offered to pay. One of mine didnt.
I agree. It does s*ck though to have people at your wedding that you dont even know and will never speak to again.
N.Y.bride
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BTW, who says if someone is paying then they can invite anyone they want? When did that rule come out?
Whose wedding is it anyway?
jnrrb
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the whole office! That is a bit much, maybe just close friends from the office
EJSD2006
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Posted by 2003wedding.
if she is paying for them---i don't see a problem--more gifts for you!!HAHA! that's bad i know--just kidding!
i was just about to say that! my Mom and Dad are inviting some friends and co-workers and i can't complain b/c they're making the final payment on our hall. it doesn't bother me at all.
DanaMZ
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That is just crazy!!! Unless she is paying for it But even then, do you really want all those people that you don't even know and will probably never see again in your life to be at your wedding?
DanaMZ
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our list has gotten out of control too, I think we might tell our parents that besides family, they can each invite X # of guests.
kms71705
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I can understand your frustration, but at least she's willing to pay for them. Try to let FH handle this one.
Good Luck, Kelly
Mrs. dleeny
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I wanted to add something else to this thread...
DH and I paid for 90% of our wedding. and while his mom contributed and offered extra $ to pay for her extra friends, we cut her off. we left quite a few people out that we would have invited if we had wanted a bigger wedding, so it wouldn't be fair. she gave us krap about it until about a month before the wedding 'oh well, you're missing out on gifts, etc'. yes dear MIL, that's exactly why we invited anyone, for the gifts
JandJ1224
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Re: OK Need opinion!
LOL Thank you so much for all of your responses!! I really value everyones opinion. I am asking FH to take care of the issue. I'll let you know how it goes. Also, we are paying for the entire wedding, its almost insulting to me that she said she'll pay for her guests, like ok how about not invite them and just give us the money towards the wedding we want with people we love and care about! LOL and also on top of that FH doesn't know any of the people at his moms office. Ok end vent! THANKSAGAIN GIRLS!!
dreamworld06
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On one hand I would say that it may keep her happy which in turn keeps you happy. However, remember that the more people she invites, the more favors and centerpieces you need. If that doesn't make a difference then decide if it's a battle you want to fight or not....
CJStein
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That's insane. It's nice of her to offer to pay for it, but really, you dont' want people at your wedding you don't know. Both of our parents are inviting work friends, but that's because they are FRIENDS and socialize outside of work.
otherme
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Posted by JandJ1224
LOL Thank you so much for all of your responses!! I really value everyones opinion. I am asking FH to take care of the issue. I'll let you know how it goes. Also, we are paying for the entire wedding, its almost insulting to me that she said she'll pay for her guests, like ok how about not invite them and just give us the money towards the wedding we want with people we love and care about! LOL and also on top of that FH doesn't know any of the people at his moms office. Ok end vent! THANKSAGAIN GIRLS!!
Good luck with this..as i learned the hard way sometime your FIL's want to invite certain people to fulfill obligations and return the favor of being invited to other events (their words, not mine). I had at least one or two tables at the wedding of people who neither DH or I had ever met, but they were filled with distant family and work friends of the FIL's. We were told that these people had to come to the wedding because the FIL's had gone to other events held by these people and it would be rude to not reciprocate - thats just the way it was with them. The argument of 'who's wedding is it anyway' doesn't really work in this situation because you have to remember that both families are involved in the celebration too and should be able to take part in the planning, otherwise they're just like a regular guest. I personally don't agree with what they wanted, but as they offered to pay for the people, we really had no choice. We did not have a problem with the minumum of the hall so could not use that as an excuse either.
When it comes down to it though, you have to chose which battles you want to fight and which ones to let go of. Doesn't mean you can't privately stew over it, but there are some issues that don't matter that much in the scheme of things. Honestly, we spent about 5 min. total saying hello to those people and that was it. No skin off our back and the FIL's were kept happy.
If she's willing to pay and it won't cost you too much additional, then you may have to let it go. You honestly won't notice them anyway as you'll be having way too much fun with everyone else. good luck!
2003wedding.
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Posted by dreamworld06
On one hand I would say that it may keep her happy which in turn keeps you happy. However, remember that the more people she invites, the more favors and centerpieces you need. If that doesn't make a difference then decide if it's a battle you want to fight or not....
that's true about the CP and favors--have her pay for those too i had a lot of people at my wedding and of course there were some i didn't know (like DH extended family that live out of state, and his mom's coworkers, etc.) and i was sooo busy and having fun that i didn't even care that they were there! good luck!!
