So, last night, JT and I went out to dinner with one of his friends. So we walk into the restaurant and the hostess makes a B-line for JT while shouting, 'Oh my Gawd! How are you? Oh my Gawd, what are you doing here?' So of course I am thinking, how the hell does he know this girl? So he was just like whatever to the girl as she sat us at our table, and I gathered from what she was saying that he worked with her at his job, but she quit. Ok, fine. Now, we're sitting down looking at the menus, and she's STILL talking to him. And he was being blatantly rude her and ignoring her, so she finally went away. Now, I got pissed at him because he didn't introduce me. I thought it was rude, and I would never talk to someone for that length of time and not introduce him to them. I can see if it's a quick hello. But I was also pissed at him for being so rude to the girl. She was a young girl, about 19, and just seemed like a cute kid that was happy to see a familiar face, and he was being a jerk to her (and that is SO NOT LIKE HIM.) Well, later, in the car, I said something to him about not introducing me, and that I thought he was rude to her, and his response was, 'Why should I introduce you to someone I don't even want to talk to?' I was like . Then he said, 'Well, I didn't introduce you to her because I didn't want to hear it from you.' Didn't want to hear WHAT from me?? W T F? I was so mad at him. He was talking to me like I was some crazy person who goes insane when he speaks to another woman. Which is NOT ME AT ALL! I swear to god, he was like someone else all last night. And now I feel like I don't even want to talk to him because even though we 'resolved' the issue last night, now that I think about it, I am still really mad at him for implying that about me. Should I just drop it?
Deb_n_Rob
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Re: Ok, was I wrong to get mad? (LONG)
It seems at times when men are in the wrong they tend to blame their girlfriend or wife. That is totally something my hubby would say to me. He use to never introduce me to people. And somehow the reason always seemed to be my fault. I really don't understand men. If it still upsets you don't drop it discuss it calmly with him. Explain to him that he hurt your feelings. Good luck.
bm2013
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Re: Ok, was I wrong to get mad? (LONG)
No, you were not wrong to get mad...I would have been upset if I was in the same situation. I also agree with Deb-n-Rob. If it still bothers you, calmly discuss it so you can explain why you are feeling this way.
september2004
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Re: Ok, was I wrong to get mad? (LONG)
i would have been pissed.
the only legitimate excuse FH has not to introduce me to someone is he has forgotten his/her name (which happens often). usually he then just says 'this is my fiancé X' and i say 'nice to meet you, and your name is...'
there is one woman in his life who irks me because pre me they had some type of flirty relationship at work. i have met her and although it's annoying, it's no big deal and not a threat to me and my relationship with FH.
there is no need to ever blow up, just make it known that you will not stand for that crap anymore...
Bebalina
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Re: Ok, was I wrong to get mad? (LONG)
Posted by bm2013
No, you were not wrong to get mad...I would have been upset if I was in the same situation. I also agree with Deb-n-Rob. If it still bothers you, calmly discuss it so you can explain why you are feeling this way.
i agree.
SandraLynn
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Re: Ok, was I wrong to get mad? (LONG)
Sad to say, I'd be pissed as well. They act as though it is not big deal, but if its no big deal, why not introduce us? I get pissed at simple dumb stuff....for 6 months I have been hearing he has to get new soccer cleats....I walk into his closet last night to put laundry away, and there was the box w/ new soccer cleats, i got so pissed...b/c i have been hearing aobut these HAVE TO HAVE cleats, he bought them and didn't even say anything? I got pissed and still am...gosh and it is sooo stupid too and I know it...grrrh. We are a bit complex, huh? LOL
Kriss2c
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Re: Ok, was I wrong to get mad? (LONG)
If I was in the same situation, I would be upset too. I don't think you were wrong at all. I also think that since you are still pretty miffed about it, the issue is far from over, talk to him a bit more about it.... especially his reaction to immediately implicate you in some way - that's pretty childish IMO.
Maribelle7777
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Re: Ok, was I wrong to get mad? (LONG)
I would drop it because if he normally isn't like that then maybe he was blowing her off because she's overbearing (someone that comes running over screaming 'oh my gawd!' sounds like they could be overbearing...lol)
He probably figured introducing you would be opening pandora's box to let the girl ask all sorts of questions and maybe he just didn't want to talk to her and get her started.
I have a feeling it wasn't that he didn't want to 'hear it from you' - I think maybe he said that because you were asking why he did what he did.
I would drop it..I'm sure he probably didn't like the girl when he worked with her and didn't want to engage in any talk and maybe she's not the type to 'get the hint' unless you ignore her.
prncssrachel
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Re: Ok, was I wrong to get mad? (LONG)
Thanks girls. He apologized and basically said the same thing as Maribelle7777. He said he doesn't really know her and it annoyed him that she was talking to us as we were trying to look at our menus. He didn't want her to think it was ok to continue to talk, so he just didn't say anything to her. I believe that because she was chatty as all hell. And then it turns out he was pissed at me for something I apparently said like 4 hours before we went to dinner, and he claimed that that is why he was being a snot to me last night. Of course that unleashed a whole 'nother demon of him not being able to tell me when he's upset with me. It's like dealing with a child sometimes All was resolved with the whole promise to tell you when something's wrong crap that I know won't happen. We don't argue very much at all, but it's always over something stupid that's not really the problem at all. Goddamned relationships When they're good ones, you tend to forget that sometimes they'll still be work. Oh well. Thanks everyone for the input
pschica
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Re: Ok, was I wrong to get mad? (LONG)
glad to hear it had all worked out - sometimes this happens to dh and i - i knkow if he odesn't introduce me its usually b/c he deosn't know there name so now we have a secret 'ritual' so in that case, i intorduce myself!
OctGroom
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Re: Ok, was I wrong to get mad? (LONG)
I think the issue should be over.
He didn't want to talk to her for whatever reason. And she wasn't getting the hint.
Maybe if he would have be fawning all over her and talking over and over.. it may have started not to sit well with you.
A man knows who he wants to talk to and who he doesn't.. and that's all that matters.
Maybe this 'cute girl' did something in the past to him or one of his friends that made him want to avoid her.
Sounds like a perfectly reasonable guy to me. If he's a good guy.. he's a good guy. And nothing'll change that.
JMHO.
butterfly20
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Re: Ok, was I wrong to get mad? (LONG)
id want to be introduced...also maybe she was interested in him and introducing you would have clarrified things
prncssrachel
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Re: Ok, was I wrong to get mad? (LONG)
Posted by butterfly20
id want to be introduced...also maybe she was interested in him and introducing you would have clarrified things
No, she didn't seem interested in him at all, just one of those people who's majorly chatty. Eh, whatever it was, it's over and done with now. There were underlying issues that were surfacing in the form of something stupid, anyway. All taken care of now
