ok weird ex husband story...

allornil Posted: Jun 16, 2010 10:10 AM

ok weird ex husband story...

so, my ex husband imd me last night. He still tries to talk to me, when I'm like eh...whatever.

He asked me, 'can you do me a favor?'

I immediately said No. lol

anyway...get this...you will NOT believe this.

His father is dying. He's in the last stages of 3 types of cancer. He asked to see me. Apparently he's feeling some sort of regret for the way he treated me when Greg and I were divorcing. Basically, the man was a Nazi to me.

The family is toxic and I have no interest in hearing a death bed confession or whatever.

Yeah, I'm a heartless biatch but whatever.

Isn't that the most bizarre thing ever? We separated in 97. Divorced in 2004. This man helped hide his son when I tried to serve him with papers. Cost me 12k bc of this and a world of pain, betrayal and heartbreak and I'm supposed to go there so he can clear his conscience? NO.

WeezyGirl2354 Posted: Jun 16, 2010 10:12 AM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

UMMM you are totally in the right here. Who the eff does your ex think he is to ask you for such a thing????

Why don't you block his IM name?? I am so confused as to why he feels the need to talk to you and the nerve to ask favors of you.

I am sorry for his father - but a divorce is a divorce for a reason.

mybabylovesmoi Posted: Jun 16, 2010 10:16 AM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

ugh, that is a TOUGH one.

I agree, his family sounds horrible and I'd be bitter as hell that they were awful to me for years and cost me thousands to get AWAY from them.

Still, the image of a frail old man languishing in his last minutes on earth is working on me.

It is hard but if it were me, I would **** it up and just hear him out. Unless he killed my dog or molested a child, I just think a half an hour of my life is small potatoes to what it might mean to him to apologize.

That's what I would do but it's completely up to you of course.

At least you know that you're one unforgettable person

MrsDtoB Posted: Jun 16, 2010 10:16 AM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

You are in no way a heartless biatch!! LOL

HELL NO would I go see him if I were you...I know it sounds mean but why do people always come to epiphanies on their deathbeds? Why couldn't you be a little better to whomever while you were healthy and not dying?

allornil Posted: Jun 16, 2010 10:17 AM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

i'm too lazy to even bother really. I have no animosity towards him at this point but his family...yeah big sore spot.

I haven't told my best friend, MOH yet but omg stay tuned for her response, she's hilariously evil.

FutureJOC Posted: Jun 16, 2010 10:18 AM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

I can understand if you had a good relationship with your ex-FIL than it would make sense for you to go and see him but in this case I really don't understand how your ex could expect you to say yes to that. If this man was a heartless and mean to you as you say than you should not visit him.

allornil Posted: Jun 16, 2010 10:21 AM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

this is how evil he was to me. I told my Mom that he was dying and she said, 'Good.' and my mom's not like that. She remembers how devastated I was back then.

WeezyGirl2354 Posted: Jun 16, 2010 10:25 AM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

I almost feel this is a sick way for your ex to keep messing with you and bringing you back to that time. Like he is miserable now and he wants to take you down with him.

mybabylovesmoi Posted: Jun 16, 2010 10:29 AM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

Posted by allornil

this is how evil he was to me. I told my Mom that he was dying and she said, 'Good.' and my mom's not like that. She remembers how devastated I was back then.

Man, it really su cks when people are relieved to hear you are kicking the bucket.

allornil Posted: Jun 16, 2010 10:31 AM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

Posted by mybabylovesmoi

Posted by allornil

this is how evil he was to me. I told my Mom that he was dying and she said, 'Good.' and my mom's not like that. She remembers how devastated I was back then.

Man, it really su cks when people are relieved to hear you are kicking the bucket.

this is morbidly funny. lol

yeah he wasn't the nicest guy. trust me on that one.

PeterNina Mom Posted: Jun 16, 2010 10:38 AM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

Posted by allornil

Posted by mybabylovesmoi

Posted by allornil

this is how evil he was to me. I told my Mom that he was dying and she said, 'Good.' and my mom's not like that. She remembers how devastated I was back then.

Man, it really su cks when people are relieved to hear you are kicking the bucket.

this is morbidly funny. lol

yeah he wasn't the nicest guy. trust me on that one.

I would definitely not go...why in the world would your ex even think you would consider going? And especially if he treated you badly...people are just amazing.
I will say the same thing your mom said when I hear that my ex died (not in front of my sons though)

Tink1118 Posted: Jun 16, 2010 10:45 AM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

I totally hear you about not wanting to go, but i'd be worried he'd haunt me or something, lol.

Out of fear I would go listen to what the old man has to say, lol, but not necessarily accept any sort of apology

FinallyMrsS2010 Posted: Jun 16, 2010 10:54 AM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

why havent you blocked him on IM? That would be the first thing I'd do after a divorce!! But seriously, that's really effed up - I would just send my condolences, but that type of mistreatment can't be forgiven that easily!!! JMO.

allornil Posted: Jun 16, 2010 10:55 AM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

His Mom has asked me to come over countless times...but here's sample of why I hated them.

about a month after we separated...aka..he moved out...greg had an emergency appendectomy. we had lunch plans. noone told me. anyway I went to the hospital (we were still working things out supposedly) and his MOM had signed everything and told the dr he was unmarried. I went nuts..and told the hospital to take the biatch's name off everything bc as a wife, I had the legal right for all that info etc or I would sue.

anyway i drove her home every night from the hospital, which was a hr & a half from my house. she always invited me in but i declined. well, I found out later that Greg had planned to go upstate w some girl before he had been rushed to the hospital and she was staying at his house. That biatch knew she was there..let her stay there and i swear wanted to stir **** up.

allornil Posted: Jun 16, 2010 10:58 AM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

here's my opinion on why his dad is on his own.

Actions have consequences and as people, we have a responsibility to treat people with compassion. If we make a conscious choice to be a scumbag, it's our fault and we have to live with that regret. It's no one's responsibility to lift that from our hearts.

basically...be excellent to one another! lol

WeezyGirl2354 Posted: Jun 16, 2010 11:04 AM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

Posted by allornil

here's my opinion on why his dad is on his own.

Actions have consequences and as people, we have a responsibility to treat people with compassion. If we make a conscious choice to be a scumbag, it's our fault and we have to live with that regret. It's no one's responsibility to lift that from our hearts.

basically...be excellent to one another! lol

well said!!!!!!!

MrsTarricone2B Posted: Jun 16, 2010 12:57 PM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

You do not owe them anything!!! And for all you know, it could just be your ex trying to get you to come there so he can try to break up your engagement! There's no proof that your ex FIL asked for you. If the man is feeling remorse now it's too late. It's not like that family hurt you once and now feels bad right? It sounds to me that they hurt you time and time again - now it's too little too late. Maybe you can tell your ex that you forgive his dad but you definetly do not need to go there!!!!

allornil Posted: Jun 16, 2010 01:02 PM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

Posted by MrsTarricone2B

You do not owe them anything!!! And for all you know, it could just be your ex trying to get you to come there so he can try to break up your engagement! There's no proof that your ex FIL asked for you. If the man is feeling remorse now it's too late. It's not like that family hurt you once and now feels bad right? It sounds to me that they hurt you time and time again - now it's too little too late. Maybe you can tell your ex that you forgive his dad but you definetly do not need to go there!!!!

that's pretty much what my best friend said.

'That's OK - you do not have to accept. As long as you've let it go.

The best answer that you can give is - tell him 'I hold no ill will against your father'

And let the matter rest'

rendel Posted: Jun 16, 2010 01:41 PM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

He really needs to get on with his life, as you have. You do not need toxic people in your life!!!!! You are a good person Amy, don't let there mistakes make you question that.

allornil Posted: Jun 16, 2010 01:44 PM

Re: ok weird ex husband story...

Posted by rendel

He really needs to get on with his life, as you have. You do not need toxic people in your life!!!!! You are a good person Amy, don't let there mistakes make you question that.

oh I'm not questioning it. he had 11 years while we were together to NOT be a scumbag to me. He had 13 years since the breakup to do the same. he's going to have to depart this earth without speaking to me.