OMG!!! I am LIVID!!!

My invitations went out tonight and my MIL received hers. Well, she emailed FH and said, 'They are beautiful. Who composed them?' Well FI did not get the question. All of you know why she asked that, don't you.

He replies, 'Andrea.' First, that really is not true. The invite lady did. When he told me this, I said she is asking because her name is not on the invite. FI was like no way.

Sure enough...two minutes later another email comes in saying, 'I noticed that my name was not on the invite. Was this intentional? Or is this the way it is done these days?'

I almost fell off my chair!! FI was furious.

FI has no relationship with his adopted father (MIL's husband). His relationship with his mother is purely through emails ranging from once a month to once a week.

We have been dating 6 years. Once we got engaged, my parents wanted to invite them over. They refused saying that they wanted to have it. Months went by...nothing. Finally, they schedule something and then cancel it by emailing FI. They did not even call my parents!!

My mother met his mother at MY SHOWER!!! No one has even met his father!! I have been engaged a year and a half. My wedding is 6 weeks away!

Here was FI response back to her via email:

Traditonally, the person(s) who host, pay for, and plan the wedding appear on the invitation. That is the way it's done.

I don't think you realize that Andrea's parents have put a tremendous amount of time and effort into the planning the wedding - not to mention a fortune. They've spent many weekends and nights attending to all of the details to ensure that it is a very special event.

The reality is that neither you nor dad have had anything to do with the wedding planning.

Your question has upset me.

omg i'm so sorry that's happened to you!!!

just calm down, and relax...don't let this ruin your happiness!!!

Yikes. Sticky situation. You should be upset. Why does she think she should be on the invite when she hasn't done a darn thing to help out? Good response from FI by the way. I think his reply was great. She has no come back. She has done nothing to contribute so she does not get included on the invite.

Kim

I did not even tell you guys this one:

We submitted our announcement to the NY Times. We were not sure what title his father had at his job. The father emailed FI and told him, 'I do not want and personal or private about myself included. This means my name, place of employment, or my occupation.'

Whatthefuck???? So FI completely removed his name. It reads, 'FI son of Mrs. X.'

I would be mad too. Thats terrible. People can be so strange. Don't worry I'm sure everything will work out in the end

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Posted by allaboutthecake

Good for your FI, you must have been glad that he stood up to her like that. I can't believe that she had the nerve to question why she wasn't on the invite. That is crazy.

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I know. I could not be in this relationship with him if he was close to them. But he recognizes that they are crazy and tries to limit contact because 'they drag you down with them.'

That is probably one of the best things about FI. He always has my back.

sounds like a mature response on your FH's part...

i wouldn't get angry. we included both sets of parents on the invitation out of respect regardless of contribution. my FH doesn't have a good relationship with his family (minus his mother) but since i entered the picture that has changed for the better...

maybe turn the negative into a positive? with a 'sorry i didn't know you wanted to be included, would you like to help out with the rest of the planning?'

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Posted by allaboutthecake

How could your FI father say that he doesn't want anything to be said about him in the announcement? Geez, you are lucky that your FI went in a completely different direction and thinks that they are really nuts. It must be hard to be around them....do you have to see them much?

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Luckily I don't have to see them because FI dreads it. Obviously, there are way too many stories to share. But the reality is that the FILs have major problems. I like the his mom before all of this wedding stuff (I hate her for the things she has done to FI and FSIL). But I have a lot of resentment because of how she has treated my family.

She also convinced FI's grandfather (who is really like his father), to write FI out of his will. Grandpa was only going to leave him $20,000. Well, grandpa did and felt awful about it. For about a year, he felt really guilty. FI told him not to worry about it (most people would have told him to change it back). Anyway, fast forward, grandpa changed the will to leave FI more that FMIL! So FMIL totally screwed herself over $20,000! Now he will get more like $400,000.

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Luckily I don't have to see them because FI dreads it. Obviously, there are way too many stories to share. But the reality is that the FILs have major problems. I like the his mom before all of this wedding stuff (I hate her for the things she has done to FI and FSIL). But I have a lot of resentment because of how she has treated my family.

She also convinced FI's grandfather (who is really like his father), to write FI out of his will. Grandpa was only going to leave him $20,000. Well, grandpa did and felt awful about it. For about a year, he felt really guilty. FI told him not to worry about it (most people would have told him to change it back). Anyway, fast forward, grandpa changed the will to leave FI more that FMIL! So FMIL totally screwed herself over $20,000! Now he will get more like $400,000.

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That is hysterical, the grandfather must have really seen through your FI's mother. I don't understand how someone can do things like that. I can't imagine having a mother like that!!

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Posted by allaboutthecake

How could your FI father say that he doesn't want anything to be said about him in the announcement? Geez, you are lucky that your FI went in a completely different direction and thinks that they are really nuts. It must be hard to be around them....do you have to see them much?

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some people don't disclose information for privacy reasons and i think that should be respected. a friend of my father's gets really touchy about this kinds of stuff, and although i am not as 'paranoid' as he is, i respect the fact that he wants to keep the information to himself!