OMG - My Best Friend (BM)...

mrswask Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:21 PM

OMG - My Best Friend (BM)...

is !

Yup - you guessed it! They got married in the summer and weren't planning on starting to try until after my wedding! I am so happy but I am also having those selfish feelings - like - we can't have a drink together and most of all - she is going to be around 7.5-8 months pregnant at my wedding - and I had just decided on my BM dress this morning!! I know this may change everything with the dress and I am feeling very bad and selgish right now and I guess I need to just let it out - even though I am so excited - i am kind of sad too!!! I'm so confused!! And what do I do about the BM dress?

Bebalina Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:22 PM

Re: OMG - My Best Friend (BM)...

they can add extra material to the bm dress

FeliciaDA Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:24 PM

Re: OMG - My Best Friend (BM)...

Its OK to let it out ... while you are happy for your friend, you are a little jealous and sad too..

I had those same feelings you had (and THEN SOME) when my BF told me she was pregnant . She told me the SAME WEEK I got engaged, and her due day is July 24th (my wedding is July 25th) !! My first reaction was NOT a nice one, I'm ashamed to say.

So she cannot even ATTEND my wedding, let alone be my MOH at my wedding (she lives out of state)

Is your friend still planning on being a BM ? You still have time to find a BM gown that will flatter her figure, so I wouldnt worry .. but still I know this complicates everything

ChristineC68 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:25 PM

Re: OMG - My Best Friend (BM)...

Congrats to your friend!!

I think you sound a little disappointed that some things will be different which is natural, but I wouldn't say you sound selfish.

The BM dress manufacturer may have a maternity line or see about ordering the gown as late as possible and she could just get a larger size and have it altered and ask the salon to order extra material with the order (so it's in the same dye lot) just in case.

lilqtny Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:30 PM

Re: OMG - My Best Friend (BM)...

This happened to my sister but her BM was 9 months preggo at her wedding.
She may want to ask if she can back out this may save you problems with the dresses. She can maybe do a reading at the wedding and be involved in other ways if you want, I think preggo BM dresses are so cute, its just something to think about.

mrswask Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:32 PM

Re: OMG - My Best Friend (BM)...

Thanks for understanding - I told her that she didn't have to be a BM if she didn't want to - but it would kill me and when I told her that she paused a moment and I got sooo scared - she said she absolutely wanted to be there and be a BM and I am happy - but as you said - still having some of those feelings. I know Jim Hjelm makes BM dresses - but honestly I would like everyone to wear the same dress! Ugh!! This is tough! So many feelings! BTW - this is the third friend that has told us they are trying to get (or are) pregnant in the next few months! And FH just really pissed me off - he just came in and is like 'we're going to have a really boring wedding if everyone is pregnant'

TwoBugs Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:38 PM

Re: OMG - My Best Friend (BM)...

I was in the same situation. TWO of the girls I asked to be BM are pregnant and are due less than one month before the wedding. They both live out of state, so they probably won't even attend.
I cried for a day, then realized that this was a very happy thing for them, and that I had to stop being selfish. But I will always be disappointed that they will not be at my wedding.

FeliciaDA Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:43 PM

Re: OMG - My Best Friend (BM)...

Posted by mrswask

Thanks for understanding - I told her that she didn't have to be a BM if she didn't want to - but it would kill me and when I told her that she paused a moment and I got sooo scared - she said she absolutely wanted to be there and be a BM and I am happy - but as you said - still having some of those feelings. I know Jim Hjelm makes BM dresses - but honestly I would like everyone to wear the same dress! Ugh!! This is tough! So many feelings! BTW - this is the third friend that has told us they are trying to get (or are) pregnant in the next few months! And FH just really pissed me off - he just came in and is like 'we're going to have a really boring wedding if everyone is pregnant'

Aww ...

I know the feelings are still fresh for you, and its gotta really hurt right now (despite the fact you are happy for your friends) You don't want to think of everyone at your wedding being pregnant and noone drinking or dancing b/c of it!

I still get pangs of saddness when I think that my BF won't be at my wedding. I am thrilled for her but I cannot believe she won't be there!

It'll work out fine for you! At least she'll still be there to stand up with you!

And as Lilqtny said, I think the pregnant BMs dresses are awfully cute .. I'm sure you'll find something that compliments your other girls dresses ... we're here to help!!

BellaBella Posted: Feb 17, 2004 04:44 PM

Re: OMG - My Best Friend (BM)...

My MOH (SIL) went ahead and asked me how I would feel if she was pregnant at my wedding. Honestly It doesn't matter to me, but I wouldn't want her to be friggin 8 months up there. She could at least be a little considerate to not plan that way. Not that she would do that anyway. If anything she would only be 2-3 months....I was mostly worried about her not drinking though and having a good time, and she said 'well it's your wedding sweety, of course Im gonna have a good time'

shelzyp Posted: Feb 17, 2004 05:14 PM

Re: OMG - My Best Friend (BM)...

My SIL was PG at my wedding, and we jsut had to order extra material to add ot the dress.

Jenn P Posted: Feb 17, 2004 05:21 PM

Re: OMG - My Best Friend (BM)...

Posted by BellaBella

She could at least be a little considerate to not plan that way.

You can't really plan getting pregnant the way you can plan a party or a vacation.

Even if she is far along, she'll be pregnant, not a cripple! She'll still have a great time at your wedding.

jayidee Posted: Feb 17, 2004 05:34 PM

Re: OMG - My Best Friend (BM)...

My best has been planning to get pregnant months before I got engaged. When I got engaged - she said we'll stop trying and wait till after.
I thought that was horrible. Wait 9 months before you start trying. I wouldn't want anyone to ask me to wait on starting a family.
I'm sure everything will work out.

BellaBella Posted: Feb 17, 2004 05:42 PM

Re: OMG - My Best Friend (BM)...

You can't really plan getting pregnant the way you can plan a party or a vacation.

Even if she is far along, she'll be pregnant, not a cripple! She'll still have a great time at your wedding.

Yeah I know. Although some people are lucky on their first try...
Shes said she wants to have a summer baby, so she would have to 'get pregnant' around Oct. I meant it as I didn't want her to 'plan' to be close to pregnancy on my day, not to sound rude, im just a worrier. But it was nice of her to even mention/ask me..