OMG!! Updated at Bottom... THANKS

So waaay before I met FH I was in constant contact with this guy that lived out of state. We met at a party when he was visiting friends in Ny and became awesome friends. Well..then the whole 'freidns' thing changed...and I went down there all the time and it was amazing! We stopped talking about 6 years ago...about a year before I met FH.....at least on a super personal level...we still talked through emails from time to time...
Sure enough, he just texted me...my number has been the same for well over 10 years! LOL. Now I'm just in shock. He said he misses me and would like to catch up...he's still out of state...but it just had a whole k'bunch of memories come flying back...and I know if I tell FH that he'll get upset...
About 3 years ago I wrote an email to him when I was going through a rough time with FH, the ONLY rough time we had... lol... and well, FH saw it... so now he has this huge hatred towards this awesome guy that he never met. He knows that Im' getting married and wishes me all the luck in the world...
Now, do you think I should just forget about him...and try to stop texting him back..? It's been about a year since we wrote any emails or texts... and it's just an odd feeling... I love FH more then anything in the world, but really, this other guy was my first... HA. We always promised we would always be friends no matter what... but I don't like hiding things from FH... so now I just don't know what to do...it's not like i'm ever going to cheat on FH or run down to where this other guy lives wo FH knowing....but just talking to him behind FHs back is just making me feel bad...when I did nothing wrong...

Any suggestions...? LOL

I would ask FH how he feels about it and if he's okay with it, then go for it. If he's not okay with it, have a serious discussion about why. But think about if it's worth FH's feelings being hurt to get in touch with this guy you haven't been in touch with for a year.

I don't know the details of the email you sent that set FH off but I can understand your FH's feelings - I have a special hatred for his ex because he was texting her behind my back and if he wanted to start contacting her again, I would have a real problem with it.

Because your FH feels hatred for this guy I think you should just leave it alone....I think you would be playing with fire!!! I'm sorry

Well, that's a tough one. I had a very similar situation. If your FH is upset by him, then I think you should be respectful to him and not be in contact anymore. My FH is the jealous type to say the least, so he wasn't thrilled that I was still talking to a friend that I knew in college that moved back to his home state literally 2 months before we met. But we didn't have a romantic relationship, so I felt he really couldn't tell me that I couldn't speak to him. Had he not moved back, I do think it may have turned into one, and then FH would have a point, or, may not even be my FH because we wouldn't have met.

So I can see where your FH is coming from because you were with this guy...but I certainly can understand where you're coming from, because I know if my friend texted me right now, I would be happy and excited to speak to him because he was my FRIEND, first and foremost, in a really rough time in my life. I don't envy your position right now I have to say.

I had a friendship like that wayyyy before I met FH. We were best friends.... but actually he stopped talking to me.... we always promised not to do that but well he did. I have no idea why. He moved a way like 5 years ago so we would always talk a little but as soon as he got engaged things were sooo not the same.
So I'm just saying as being on the other side of this... dont just ignore him. Call him and either tell him that you adored your time with him but you have to be respectful of your FH. OR you could keep talking to him, but I would tell your FH.

I just know I would have liked some closure so I guess thats what I'm telling you to do,

I think continuing to talk to him behind your FH's back is a dangerous place to be. I know you love you FH, and you should guard that relationship and respect him by not talking to this other guy who you used to be involved with. In my opinion, it's not worth the risk. What would happen if he found out? Or how would you feel if you found out? My FH and I went through something similiar but on a smaller scale this past summer and it almost destroyed us because I felt so betrayed. Lucky we got past it, but I know if my FH had it to do over he would tell you that their friendship was not worth hurting us. Just some thoughts for you to chew on.

I wouldnt do it. I think its a really bad idea.

You have only a few months till your wedding and if your FH found out you guys were talking, it could lead to serious problems involving trust, committment, and dedication to the marriage.

I say, leave it well enough alone.

I agree with some of the other girls....if FH doesn't like it, then I say its not worth it. Think if the shoe was on the other foot. Would you be okay if one day you found out an x-gf, you told your FH you didn't like or wanted him to talk to, was talking to her behind your back.

Sorry HTH.

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Posted by DinaAndRob

Because your FH feels hatred for this guy I think you should just leave it alone....I think you would be playing with fire!!! I'm sorry

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Sadly I agree.

Thanks girls...I talked to him... well..if you can call it that... LOL... his look said it all. So I'm leaving it just be... Yeah, this guy was soo important to me back in the day, but obviously he isn't now. So, I told FH I will call him just to tell him it's done...and he should just move on. It was hard to bring it up to him....but since FH trusts me he knows that it'll finally be the end... thanks for all your advise girls... means alot. You girls really pull through with EVERYTHING...quite literally!!

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Posted by Dani777

Thanks girls...I talked to him... well..if you can call it that... LOL... his look said it all. So I'm leaving it just be... Yeah, this guy was soo important to me back in the day, but obviously he isn't now. So, I told FH I will call him just to tell him it's done...and he should just move on. It was hard to bring it up to him....but since FH trusts me he knows that it'll finally be the end... thanks for all your advise girls... means alot. You girls really pull through with EVERYTHING...quite literally!!

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good for you. i'm happy you worked it out!

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Posted by Dani777

Thanks girls...I talked to him... well..if you can call it that... LOL... his look said it all. So I'm leaving it just be... Yeah, this guy was soo important to me back in the day, but obviously he isn't now. So, I told FH I will call him just to tell him it's done...and he should just move on. It was hard to bring it up to him....but since FH trusts me he knows that it'll finally be the end... thanks for all your advise girls... means alot. You girls really pull through with EVERYTHING...quite literally!!

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that sounds great! good job

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Posted by Dani777

Thanks girls...I talked to him... well..if you can call it that... LOL... his look said it all. So I'm leaving it just be... Yeah, this guy was soo important to me back in the day, but obviously he isn't now. So, I told FH I will call him just to tell him it's done...and he should just move on. It was hard to bring it up to him....but since FH trusts me he knows that it'll finally be the end... thanks for all your advise girls... means alot. You girls really pull through with EVERYTHING...quite literally!!

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Good decision.. Hope all works out.. I went through something like that.. but hopefully it worked out...